Told off for serving olives and chicken?

[justonanote]

I invited a friend's DD to my house. She and one of her friend's had been invited to a wedding and they were going to go together

I offered to have her DD and casually offered to have her friend's DD too. She jumped at the chance and was very enthusiastic.

This was all a very last minute arrangement and both seemed grateful to have childcare sorted

They were gone before lunch time but would be back before 6 so was told they'd sort dinner.

I briefly mentioned what to give for lunch and my own friend didn't actually say but I know her DD very well so just gave her what I know she would eat. No problems.

However, my friend's friend said 'oh just a cheese sandwich will do fine! Thanks again for having her'

I made a chicken curry. Both girls ate it and then wanted some seconds we also had some olives randomly and a snack in the early evening

Friend's friend rang me once her DD was home with her screaming! I was completely shocked and not sure what she was talking about at first. Then she was cleared and said 'YOU GAVE RACH CHICKEN?! She is veggie!!!!! You could've damaged her stomach! She isn't use to meat'

I apologies profusely and said how sorry I was. It was a genuine mistake. She then said 'And the olives?! A choking hazard aren't they?!'

I again apologised but said I didn't realise it was wrong. I then said I won't have her again so there's no need to worry any further. She started screaming again and I hang up.

This was Sunday night. I haven't heard from my friend (who's child I know better and am actually close with). Her phone goes to VM and WhatsApp messages aren't double ticking

Was I really that Unreasonable? I really really didn't even think she could be veggie

To make matters worse, my own child has a severe disability and he doesn't eat meat. I feel so bad.

[PierresPotato]

Choking danger at 8 is a bit much imo.
The vegetarian side should have been made clear at the outset.
I'm sorry your kind deed has been so badly received.
Some people are very odd.

[Memyselfandfood]

She’s a cf!! If her child is veggie it’s her job to say that! You did her a favour!!
There’s nothing wrong with olives either!
Op you’ve had a lucky escape with this ‘friend’

[PierresPotato]

Rennet in cheese isn't vegetarian so it is all a bit odd.

[Comedycook]

Yes. He doesn't really see any other children sad he doesn't acknowledge people but genuinely enjoys company in the house. But people don't invite him to anything anymore so I find I try and sort things so he knows people will come by to see us

Sorry I wasn't criticising you for having children come over...my point was that you must be pretty busy and it was so kind of you to help. What vile behaviour of this woman.

[oatlattetogo]

I was expecting the child to be a toddler who was too young to tell you they were vegetarian! Rach clearly isn’t that fussed about being a vegetarian, or she wouldn’t have eaten the chicken curry. An 8 year old is capable of asking whether something is vegetarian and of eating olives.

I am sorry you’ve been so poorly rewarded for doing someone a nice favour

[Backtomyoldname]

My children knew that they were vegetarian from about 4 onwards. The older ones would have looked out for the youngest too.

If someone else was looking after them I’d have let them know that the children were vegetarian and/or sent them with food.

There are accounts that a vegetarian eating meet can have later problems - not sure if its actually true - but nothing a serious toilet visit or two can’t sort out.

[Cherrysoup]

Surely the mum ought to have mentioned this? I would have offered ham and cheese as a slightly better sandwich! If the parent hadn’t said anything, why didn’t the child? Or maybe she doesn’t know what chicken is?

[Maray1967]

Parents of children who have eaten here who are veggie/religiously observant have always very politely explained what they can’t have. It is the parent’s responsibility to say what their child cannot or should not eat.
How rude of her.

[Blossom64265]

She needs to specify dietary requirements.


You might not have even had the ingredients in for a cheese sandwich. I often don’t. Sure, lots of people consider it a staple but if you’ve got allergies or picky eaters in the house, it often isn’t

[Mangogogogo]

I was feeding my sons friend allsorts meat lasagne, homemade Parmos, lamb dinner before my son told me he was a vegetarian!! I apologised to the boys mum as soon as I found out but she said if he’s eating it and wants it that’s absolutely fine. Heart fell out my arse.

This woman is an absolute tit and I would just block her tbh

[babywalker56]

However, my friend's friend said 'oh just a cheese sandwich will do fine! Thanks again for having her'

But if she asked you to give her child a cheese sandwich, couldn’t you have just given her a cheese sandwich? I don’t get it

[babywalker56]

She was unnecessarily rude though especially as you did her a favour

[monsterpup]

I made my own decision to go veggie at 6 and was once round at someone's house when they served lasagna (my mum had told the mum she just forgot!) . I knew enough to know I wasn't able to eat it and got cooked some pasta instead. At 8, if she ate the chicken, she probably isn't that keen to be a veggie really and the whole "it could hurt her stomach" is a bit dramatic really.

Also choking on olives?? Ridiculous

Don't worry OP

[Mustreadabook]

How old is the child? I would expect my children to know they are veggie at 10 (because they chose to and I’d rather they ate meat :-). But obviously if they were going to be fed anywhere I’d make sure that the parents were aware so they could plan what to eat.

[Grimed]

You agreed to a cheese sandwich and then gave her chicken? Why?

[PierresPotato]

I would hardly make a guest a cheese sandwich if the rest of us were eating another meal.

[Blueeyedgirl21]

She’s unhinged

If someone airily said ‘oh just a cheese sandwich will do’ I’d assume she wanted to keep it cheap as they felt bad that I was having their child and feeding them for free. Therefore I’d offer something nicer and more filling.

[Awrite]

Oh, you poor thing.

You sound like you are very kind. These women took advantage of your kindness and have the cheek not to be grateful.

Please don't let anyone scream at you down the phone.

[MissLucyEyelesbarrow]

@Maray1967

Parents of children who have eaten here who are veggie/religiously observant have always very politely explained what they can’t have. It is the parent’s responsibility to say what their child cannot or should not eat.
How rude of her.

This. Especially as you had specifically discussed food. What kind of idiot doesn't say at that point that their child is veggie?

[Figgygal]

She is ridiculous it was her responsibility to let you know her dd was veg
Id be cross with your friend if she's ignoring you youve done nothing wrong

[Rinatinabina]

Her mum might be veggie, but 8yr old rach clearly isn’t.

[Carrieb1978]

She sounds more angry her child yummed up the chicken 😂. I am from a veggie family but I kind of find it funny!! Like the time my veggie mum ate carbonara and declared it delicious then realised it had tiny bits of ham in 😬😬

[Innocenta]

@Grimed The mum didn't say it in a 'this is a dietary restriction' way, clearly. If it sounds like she's just trying to be undemanding, OP cannot reasonably be blamed for attempting to feed the children something nicer than a sandwich.

(Speaking as a vegan! I am not pro meat, here, just pro fairness.)

[Mariposista]

My blood is boiling for you - how does she have the nerve to criticise what you do and serve in YOUR house? You did her a favour, looked after and fed the girls, and SHE has the audacity to complain. I don't use bad language that often, but F her. F her and her stupid faddy diets, they can stick them where the sun don't shine!!!
Well done to you for being a kind, welcoming host.

[Coyoacan]

I'm so sorry, you were treated so unpleasantly in return for your kindness, OP.

No wonder that woman had to rely on the kindness of strangers. I imagine all her other relatives and acquaintances give her a wide berth.