Wanting a wage for playing with his granddaughter

(465 Posts)
Bigdisappointment Wed 28-Jul-21 14:01:58

This is what my dad ‘Joked’ well, he wasn’t laughing about today.
Parents come to stay with us, he was playing with toddler Dd, she always wants to play with him. He played for a bit, then stood up and said he was going to the bank to get his wage. Confused, I asked ‘Wage for what?’ He said ‘For this’ meaning playing/looking after Dd,
Aibu to feel hurt that he obviously begrudges spending time with her, I'd rather he didn’t if he didn’t want to.
How involved are your parents with your kids? Feel disappointed in mine a lot.

OP’s posts: |
Aprilx Wed 28-Jul-21 14:03:02

I think he was joking…. confused

pineapplecat21 Wed 28-Jul-21 14:03:46

It was clearly a joke. confused

RyanReynoldsHusband Wed 28-Jul-21 14:04:29

It’s a dad joke…

pleasedonttextmyman Wed 28-Jul-21 14:05:08

well, he wasn’t laughing about today.

why do you think that? Everyone else understands it as a joke.

SmokeyDevil Wed 28-Jul-21 14:05:34

It is a joke.

Sisisimone Wed 28-Jul-21 14:06:43

How can you not think that's a joke?


TheQueef Wed 28-Jul-21 14:06:55

You've misunderstood.
He's joking.

Sisisimone Wed 28-Jul-21 14:07:51

Not everyone laughs when they say something humorous. It really couldn't be construed as anything other than a joke

Ninkanink Wed 28-Jul-21 14:08:15

Of course he’s joking.

Bigdisappointment Wed 28-Jul-21 14:08:26

He wasn’t joking, he was pissed off, said she should play with myself or grandma and went off for a walk

OP’s posts: |
akissbeforebed Wed 28-Jul-21 14:08:27

a) Maybe he's joking (I think he is)
b) Maybe he doesn't enjoy playing with toddlers (not everyone does)
c) Maybe he'd like to spend some time with you - his daughter

Aprilx Wed 28-Jul-21 14:09:06


He wasn’t joking, he was pissed off, said she should play with myself or grandma and went off for a walk

You are being ridiculous.

DismantledKing Wed 28-Jul-21 14:09:31

I’m awaiting a huge drip feed here

PieceOfString Wed 28-Jul-21 14:09:49

I think you know him well enough to know if this was just a poor taste joke or a real comment disguised as a joke.
If he actually is resenting doing this, that is a crying shame. My own DC have wither remote or barely interested family on birth sides sadly. For a loooong time I envied others whose family were hands on our enthusiastic. It was a thorn in my side. Now I've just reached acceptance. I'm not sure how I got there, probably just time and gradually being able to let go and focus more on what we do have. I grew up surrounded by lots of family and I wish they had that, but actually they have other things I didn't have so it balances out in the end.
In the meantime, let him come to you, don't bend over backwards to engineer a relationship for them if his attitude is to want to count his 'effort' let him have as much as he actually wants, he can't make you feel obligated or uncomfortable then.

Bigdisappointment Wed 28-Jul-21 14:10:10

@Aprilx How so? It wasn’t a joke and he often passes her off to other people, when she so clearly wants to play with him

OP’s posts: |
GreyhoundG1rl Wed 28-Jul-21 14:10:21

Of course he was joking, stop acting like a two year old!

Niceicebaby Wed 28-Jul-21 14:10:29

Or possibly OP is exactly right and her DF isn't a happy families DGF?

Bigdisappointment Wed 28-Jul-21 14:11:41

@PieceOfString Thank you 🙏 yes, I feel the same and as you say, not a jokey comment, a comment with meaning/resentment behind it.

OP’s posts: |
Branleuse Wed 28-Jul-21 14:11:50

sounds like there is more to this story. You obviously feel that it wasnt a real joke and it was a barbed comment and that he felt like it was work rather than enjoying his grandchild. You know him more than we do OP.

GarlicMonkey Wed 28-Jul-21 14:12:00

That's crap & I completely understand you being pissed off. Might she be making him feel his age? I know I need a rest after a full on toddler hour nowadays (& I'm only early 50s).

Polly99 Wed 28-Jul-21 14:12:09

Small children can be quite dull. Perhaps 5 minutes is his fill of toddler play. Doesn't mean he doesn't love her and doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Also doesn't mean he "begrudges" anything. He'd just had enough, and that's ok.

Xmassprout Wed 28-Jul-21 14:12:34

He doesn't literally want a wage for playing with her.

Maybe he just doesn't like playing with children? He's not obliged to. Of course it would be nice for him to enjoy it, but there's nothing you can do if he doesn't. I would guide her to play with others if he really doesn't want to play

Bigdisappointment Wed 28-Jul-21 14:12:39

@GreyhoundG1rl Ok. It wasn’t a joke, a joke I know and can take.

OP’s posts: |
NotMaryWhitehouse Wed 28-Jul-21 14:12:40

I think that's a really weird comment op, I'd be a bit 'huh?' if my dad said that about playing with my son, except he never would! Sorry your dad was a dick 💐

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