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AIBU to say ‘no vaccine, no seeing grandchildren’ to my anti vaccine in laws?

(570 Posts)
Hfjshdhs Sun 07-Mar-21 17:47:53

Name changed because I’m sure that IABU and I’m a bit scared of the fallout!

My PIL are anti vaccine, conspiracy theorists (don’t think Covid exists). They are refusing to get the vaccine.

I have a 3 year old and 5 month old. The 3 year old goes to nursery, but other than that we are incredibly careful and follow all rules. My 5 month old hasn’t met anyone because we are staying safe. None of us are CEV, but equally we have friends who are healthy, have had covid, and had a really awful time of it. So we really don’t want Covid in the house.

AIBU to say to my in laws that if they don’t have the vaccine, I won’t see them, and they won’t be seeing the grandchildren? Or is that a really shitty thing to do?

For context, I have never got on with them. They are extremely controlling. My husband has a very poor relationship with them. But our daughter loves her grandparents so we make sure they have a good relationship. My PIL are both still working, in offices, so exposed every day. If I see my PIL I don’t think I could see my own parents in the following two weeks because they are vulnerable (though have been vaccinated).

OP’s posts: |
TidyDancer Sun 07-Mar-21 17:50:10

YANBU imo and if I had such idiots in my life I'd be taking the same action.

Lynora Sun 07-Mar-21 17:50:14

You don't like them so it gives you a perfect excuse not to see them. I think that's what it boils down to.

FlyingBurrito Sun 07-Mar-21 17:51:39

What does your DH think? If he agrees with you that it doesn't seem to be an issue

LawnFever Sun 07-Mar-21 17:53:05

They sound like idiots, what does your husband think? Will he agree not to see them?

Thebig3 Sun 07-Mar-21 17:54:20

Agree with pp seems a good excuse not to see them. Your 3yr old is in nursery and at the moment it's unlikely that the staff will have been vaccinated yet... so what's the difference?

wtfisgoingonhere21 Sun 07-Mar-21 17:55:09

I would be telling them they will be seeing you all at a distance until either they have the vaccine or most of the country is re opened and Covid is disappearing.

Hfjshdhs Sun 07-Mar-21 17:55:18

Yes agree me not liking them is clouding my judgment. And I’m so angry that they could be so selfish.

OP’s posts: |
Floralnomad Sun 07-Mar-21 17:55:31

If you don’t like them and your husband has a poor relationship with them I really can’t see why you are encouraging a relationship with your children . Don’t see them and use Covid and your parents as an excuse if you feel you need one .

IceCreamAndCandyfloss Sun 07-Mar-21 17:56:44

The conspiracy theory alone would make me go NC let alone not wanting to protect family and others.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut Sun 07-Mar-21 17:57:24

YANBU you do have vulnerable people in your family, your parents. They make the choice not to be vaccinated, fine but they make the choice for them, not the rest of the family.

SaigonSaigon Sun 07-Mar-21 17:58:08

Well, they're not thinking of you are they. So why think of them. Your decision but I wouldn't see them for a while longer yet. And even then only outdoors

Motherchicken Sun 07-Mar-21 17:58:31

YABU the vaccine doesn’t stop you from getting it, or transmitting it, just means you won’t be as ill and end up in hospital. So really whether they have it or not will not affect you.

ChloeCrocodile Sun 07-Mar-21 18:00:39

That is an unbelievably controlling thing to do. You and your children are very low risk. If your parents have been vaccinated they are low risk. If you don’t want to see them then don’t see them. But trying to bully people into medical treatment that they don’t want makes you a dick.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel Sun 07-Mar-21 18:03:01

You’re absolutely wrong about that Motherchicken, the evidence is suggesting that while the vaccine doesn’t lead to zero transmission it massively reduces the likelihood (likely by something between 66 and 75%) so it affects op and her family very much.
I wouldn’t want to see people who didn’t care about my family enough to do everything they could to keep them safe.

AnnieKN Sun 07-Mar-21 18:04:45

We’re not seeing grandparents until they’re vaccinated because our children are school age and I really really don’t want to infect them unknowingly (I know they can still be infected when vaccinated but the risk of serious illness should be much lower).

I would still have those concerns if they were refusing to be vaccinated... but I suppose if they don’t believe in covid that’s their choice?

It’s a stupid, uninformed choice but their choice if they want to expose themselves to infection.

If you don’t want to see them because you’re worried about them giving it to you then that’s fair enough and your choice to make.

Crazycatlady83 Sun 07-Mar-21 18:05:26

Is this permanently, just until you have the vaccine or until the cases drop / the country reopens?

Alsohuman Sun 07-Mar-21 18:06:56

Motherchicken

YABU the vaccine doesn’t stop you from getting it, or transmitting it, just means you won’t be as ill and end up in hospital. So really whether they have it or not will not affect you.

The evidence that it prevents or deters transmission is growing every day.

partyatthepalace Sun 07-Mar-21 18:07:01

You would be exposing your parents as you could carry covid from PIL to parents. Which is a handy excuse to go low / limited contact.

dementedpixie Sun 07-Mar-21 18:07:03

Motherchicken

YABU the vaccine doesn’t stop you from getting it, or transmitting it, just means you won’t be as ill and end up in hospital. So really whether they have it or not will not affect you.

The vaccine has been shown to drastically reduce transmission so your statement is wrong

AnExcellentWalker Sun 07-Mar-21 18:08:08

They are free to make their choices with their lives. So are you, for you & your DCs.

oldstudentmum Sun 07-Mar-21 18:08:50

I totally agree with you especially as they are COVID denying lol 😂 they are idiots.

FamilyOfAliens Sun 07-Mar-21 18:09:08

ChloeCrocodile

That is an unbelievably controlling thing to do. You and your children are very low risk. If your parents have been vaccinated they are low risk. If you don’t want to see them then don’t see them. But trying to bully people into medical treatment that they don’t want makes you a dick.

She’s not bullying them into being vaccinated. What a ludicrous claim.

She’s saying if they choose not to be vaccinated there is a consequence.

Soontobe60 Sun 07-Mar-21 18:09:11

The only people not having the vaccine will impact is the people not having the vaccine! There is not yet any evidence that people with the vaccine cannot transmit the disease. Your child is already in a nursery, so is the one most likely to bring Covid into the home. Your excuse of not wanting them to come in to your home because they won’t have the vaccine is just that, an excuse. At least be honest with yourself. What a shitty thing to do to your child who you say loves seeing them.

TrickorTreacle Sun 07-Mar-21 18:09:43

YANBU!

Anti-vaxxers have no place in society.

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