To be frustrated at people that think I'm too young to be TTC..

(546 Posts)
vimtooo Fri 20-Nov-20 19:10:30


So my partner and I have been together for 8 years. I'm 23 (almost 24) and my partner is 26.
We are engaged, own our own home without a mortgage (we are extremely lucky) and are always on time with our bills.
We both work full time.

Anyway. I ask this, because I've been told by a close family friend that we are way too young and irresponsible to be trying to have a baby, when we are just 'babies' ourselves.

This comment has really upset me. I don't feel as though we are too young or immature at all. We pay our own way for everything we have, we work hard and save hard and this is something we have waited for, until it felt like the right time.
Our wedding was called off due to COVID-19 and this is something we both want.. 💓

Maybe I'm being unreasonable, but I don't feel like this is the wrong decision for us.

OP’s posts: |
vimtooo Fri 20-Nov-20 19:14:20

Thank you in advance! 🥰

OP’s posts: |
Ginfordinner Fri 20-Nov-20 19:14:50

What's the rush?

23 is young to be TTC. Assuming all is well, you have many fertile years ahead of you.

whatsbinhappnin Fri 20-Nov-20 19:15:52

Well it is young

What's the rush?

smileyplant Fri 20-Nov-20 19:16:54

Ignore them, there's not a 'right' age bracket simply a trend that people tend to be a little older than yourselves these days. We are in a similar position and are just going with it, trying to block out all the opinions! Good luck smile

Cornishmumofone Fri 20-Nov-20 19:16:56

You are still quite young. I'd recommend waiting until you're married for the security that will give you.

GoldfishParade Fri 20-Nov-20 19:17:56

Its young.

If you own your own home with no mortgage what are you saving hard for? Why can't you just save?


Valkadin Fri 20-Nov-20 19:18:38

It is young and as you are so young wait until the covid situation has improved. Assume both your names are on deeds?

Roominmyhouse Fri 20-Nov-20 19:19:41

You are mortgage free at that age? Oh my god enjoy it before you have your children. Spend a few years having the money to enjoy your lives before you have your children.

CtrlU Fri 20-Nov-20 19:20:02

If you know what you want to it.

Asking strangers advise and taking other people opinions to heart sounds immature. So maybe people are making a point

Sargass0 Fri 20-Nov-20 19:20:33

So one person has expressed their opinion that you're too young...

izzyrose85 Fri 20-Nov-20 19:20:35

It is very young but you sound in a much better position than most people are when they TTC.

Feministicon Fri 20-Nov-20 19:20:39

I got married at 23 and had my first baby at 24, we now have 3 DC and my first is a teen, wouldn’t change a thing.

Bitchysideisouttoplay Fri 20-Nov-20 19:20:59

Yes your young but that's not necessarily a bad thing.
If you and your dp feel it is the right time then go for it, only you two will know as it is your lives.

Faye32 Fri 20-Nov-20 19:21:00

Don’t let anybody tell you what to do, if you feel ready to have a family then go for it ! Iv just had my first baby girl at the age of 37 and that’s because I hadn’t met my partner until this age etc , had I have been your age in your position I’d have gone for it ! Get cracking - it might take you some time but you have loads of time to have fun trying ! Go for it and good luck xx

vimtooo Fri 20-Nov-20 19:21:09

Thanks all so far for your help 😌 we just save as much as we possibly can to put aside for our future. Not for anything in particular but we are very savvy with our money and try to make it last 😌

OP’s posts: |
Didthatreallyhappen2 Fri 20-Nov-20 19:21:12

I'd go for it. Two of the best parents I know had their DCs in their early/mid 20s. When they have "flown the nest", my friends will still be young enough to travel etc with a hopefully long life ahead of them.

DC can appear quickly, or take a while to do so. If it feels right for you then it is. And bear in mind that there is never, ever a "perfect" time to have a baby. If we all waited for all the stars to align, many of us would never be parents.

PolarBearStrength Fri 20-Nov-20 19:21:13

It’s younger than average but it’s hardly scandalous. I had DS at 26 and I am a bit younger than most of my ‘mum friends’ and none of my close school/college friends have babies (a lot of my uni friends do though - we studied midwifery and it seems to be a bit of an occupational hazard). It does massively change your lifestyle and friendships but not necessarily for worse.

Waxonwaxoff0 Fri 20-Nov-20 19:21:19

I had DS at 22. I'm glad I did although I'm not with his dad any more.

Just ignore. You'll get people telling you to "live your life, travel, establish your career" but not everyone wants to do those things! If you feel the time is right for you then go for it. I would say though make sure that you don't give up your job and financial independence, I did that and it didn't work out well for me.

SpinningWheelOfFortune Fri 20-Nov-20 19:21:28

I had my (planned) DD at 22, DH was 28, if it makes any difference we were both also in decent jobs and had bought our first house by then.
I don't think there's any right time, everyone is different, personally I'm glad I got the baby years done when I was young enough with enough energy to manage, and I'm looking forward to being 40 and having more time to myself in a few years time just as DD turns 18 and becomes an adult.

fairynick Fri 20-Nov-20 19:21:30

You aren’t too young. Can’t comment on irresponsible as I don’t know you, but I’m sure your friend wouldn’t have used that word if you were 33 and not 23. Mumsnet don’t like young mums, and even more unmarried mums, they think it’s almost anti feminist so this won’t go down well OP. Everyone’s path in life is at a different pace, try not to worry too much about what other people say, because there will always be something they disapprove of.

lakesidewinter Fri 20-Nov-20 19:21:42

I would get married first for legal protection in the future.
But historically you wouldn't be young to think about having dc.

itsstillgood Fri 20-Nov-20 19:22:06

Ridiculous. If you are ready and financially secure why on earth not. I had mine at 23 and 26. Felt like perfect age. I'm now in my 40s and physically I am not in best condition. I was physically at my best when my kids needed that. I've now got the rest of my life to do what I want with it.

vimtooo Fri 20-Nov-20 19:22:23

Yes someone has expressed their opinion that I'm too young - yes it did upset me and it's been in my mind, so I guess I just wanted to see what others think. No harm! X

OP’s posts: |
TwylaSands Fri 20-Nov-20 19:23:14

Get married first.

Do not give up your career or pension contributions at 23. These are the years that count the most to your pension contributions.

And as an aside, id say if you feel the need to say ‘almost’ a different age, then youre too young.

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