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AIBU re: lift giving: will she turn up on Friday or not?

(1000 Posts)
Whiskeychaser Thu 23-Jan-20 12:51:49

Second thread.

Thanks for all the support.

Dreading them coming out od school because I can see my dd getting it in the ear from them, and I'm really feeling for her.

Link to first thread to follow in a minute (when I figure it out).

Whiskeychaser Thu 23-Jan-20 12:53:15

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3796732-AIBU-with-regard-to-giving-lifts?msgid=93352319

mummykauli7 Thu 23-Jan-20 12:53:51

She is actually the most cf of all people. Just can't get over it.

ContessaferJones Thu 23-Jan-20 12:54:05

Signing in. You and your DD haven't done anything wrong. If cornered, you can reasonably say to them "You do realise that we're not obligated in any way to give you lifts, right?"

MzHz Thu 23-Jan-20 12:54:05

It’s crap, but it will blow over.

I’m so cross on your behalf

MaggieFS Thu 23-Jan-20 12:54:06

Found you! If your DD is being bullied at school, that needs reporting.

Crazyoldmaurice Thu 23-Jan-20 12:55:29

Fully invested in this thread, let us know of any updates op!

TheMaddHugger Thu 23-Jan-20 12:56:05

Hellooooo New Thread 🖖👽👣🖖🌼

Livpool Thu 23-Jan-20 12:56:39

She is so out of order and the face she cannot see it suggests she is delusional.

Good luck OP

Psychologika Thu 23-Jan-20 12:57:16

For your own mental health, you need to close this relationship down. Horrible woman (her, not you).

OnTheEdgeOfTheNight Thu 23-Jan-20 12:57:34

The language she chooses : who's right, who's wrong, says it all.

I agree with stopping the dog sitting and no longer accepting parcels. Not to be mean, but to protect yourself. Don't put yourself in the situation where she could blame you for not doing things properly or for causing damage etc.

GiveMeAllTheGin8 Thu 23-Jan-20 12:57:38

Following new thread !
What a cf!
Hopefully your dd doesn’t get any grief at school today

IntermittentParps Thu 23-Jan-20 13:00:31

Read the last thread in disbelief. The worst of it is her using the two girls to get at you.
Here for support thanks

loveyouradvice Thu 23-Jan-20 13:00:37

Well done Whiskey .... applauding you loudly - and also hope you are okay. This must have been so tough for you - hope you can go easy on yourself and do something good FOR YOU today, looking after yourself and recognising you've just come through something enormously tough for you.

Good luck with next stages and stand firm. What I love is that you know it would be good for DD to go by herself, and a lot more relaxing for you given all that has happened.

And yes, I'm with the others who says head off from yours at 500 pm and take your daughter out for a nice tea - you both deserve it and will be lovely for you both to do something special together after a stressful time

Whiskeychaser Thu 23-Jan-20 13:01:36

Neither can I, mummykauli7.

I'm actually speechless, really, (as well as incandescent with pent up rage angry) and I really don't understand her, especially as she'll (& her dd) lose out more than I will (ie, no more lifts, no more parcels, no more looking after dog, etc,).

It doesn't make sense to me confused

Whiskeychaser Thu 23-Jan-20 13:02:05

How is anyone that shortsighted??

OnTheEdgeOfTheNight Thu 23-Jan-20 13:02:25

I think it's time for a recap :

Whiskey, you sent a polite message explaining your issues and requesting that they help.

Her response : "that's not on"

You have continually looked for the best in each incident and each message, and the other mum has been inflexible, overly dramatic, and is now trying to cause discomfort to your daughter.

Rather than allow things to escalate between the girls, you took the communication back to the mum.

She's now using emotive language about "who's right".

She's choosing the dramatic, unreasonable option every time.

mummykauli7 Thu 23-Jan-20 13:02:54

I would love for her to make a thread on here. Can you imagine how that would go.

Aibu. DDs friends mother gives us a lift to and from a club every Friday. She's been doing it for two years and now the cf think me and DD should walk an entire 15 minutes to her house so we can get a lift. Oh and not to drip feed but I don't pay her or compensate her in anyway I don't even thank her because quite frankly I work and she should be so lucky to have been graced with my presence!

Blackbear19 Thu 23-Jan-20 13:03:52

The friendship is dead.

Something that has crossed my mind. She has a dog, yet refuses to walk 15mins with her DD. She could have killed two birds with one stone. Walk DD and Dog together to yours.

I'd make your excuses and pull out of Dog sitting.

Listen to your DH.

OldEvilOwl Thu 23-Jan-20 13:08:51

At this point I would just tell her to piss off to be honest, cheeky fucking cow. You don't owe her anything

BlueChangeling Thu 23-Jan-20 13:09:23

Good Luck

MsMotivator Thu 23-Jan-20 13:12:40

As the saying goes “she’ll need you before you’ll need her”

Noshowlomo Thu 23-Jan-20 13:13:33

Who is right?? Not even a question !

Whiskeychaser Thu 23-Jan-20 13:14:19

IntermittentParps, I'm also sat here in disbelief. I really didn't expect this response from her. It's completely blindsided me.

I'll be sitting my dd down later and explaining my response to this and why I can't allow this to go on without standing firm.

I would not allow her to be treated like this, so she has to see that I also won't tolerate it for myself.

I try to be a good role model for my dd, so I hope she'll be able to weather this.

If her friends says anything, I'll tell her to tell her friend to speak to her mum, and if she persists,
I'll just tell her to reply:

my mum is still happy driving you, as she always has been. She just asked for some help to make it easier for her to do so by you walking here every Friday. You need to talk to your mum about why this isn't good enough for her

butterandbread Thu 23-Jan-20 13:15:32

Just caught up on the previous thread, genuinely can’t believe some people’s attitudes. Why be so stubborn when you’re the only one it’s negatively affecting?!

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