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Husband and female French tutor. Is this suspicious or OK?

(206 Posts)
Afternoonlemonandhoney Mon 07-Oct-19 23:44:37

What level of contact are you happy with...?
Aibu or have reason to worry?
They meet a couple of hours a week for the lessons (on a one to one basis) There is nothing particularly incriminating.
He looks like enjoying her classes a lot but there's every chance it's perfectly innocent. I have had this type of relationship with a few male colleagues in the past.
I met her once only by chance and she is very pretty! He has her email address but also her WhatsApp.
We've been together for more than 10 years, 1 kid. Things are ok between us as far as I'm aware.
Perhaps I'm just jealous of her and their meetings about his new challenge/hobby of learning French. We have a cottage in France and visit there frequently.

Finfintytint Mon 07-Oct-19 23:49:38

Ask to join the WhatsApp group and see what his reaction is. Or accompany him to the lessons.

LaPeste Mon 07-Oct-19 23:56:18

There’s a good chance he finds it exciting, because she’s a French teacher. But it doesn’t mean he’ll do anything

CatSmize Tue 08-Oct-19 00:02:34

Absolutely nothing suspicious there. My main contact with all my adult students is via Whatsapp and email. If one of my students' wives started coming to his lessons with him or wanted to join our Whatsapp chats (which consist of "I'm going to be 5 minutes late" or "Saw this article, thought of you") I'd think she was batshit.

He probably does find her pretty if he has eyes but it doesn't mean he fancies her and, from what you've said, there is no reason to suspect there is anything going on.

Afternoonlemonandhoney Tue 08-Oct-19 00:14:13

... impossible to know just hope the level of intimacy won't cross boundaries. I know they had lunch outside the classroom one day. Seems too friendly but he told me about it. Do you think gut instinct is enough to judge?

Afternoonlemonandhoney Tue 08-Oct-19 00:17:43

Thank you!

Cautionsharpblade Tue 08-Oct-19 00:42:35

Sounds very like the relationship I have with my language teacher. The idea of anything inappropriate between us is ludicrous.

WhenISnappedAndFarted Tue 08-Oct-19 00:52:27

I'd find absolutely nothing suspicious about any of that. I don't see a problem with email and WhatsApp, like a pp said - I would find it odd if a partner wanted to be added so that suggestion is awful.

Afternoonlemonandhoney Tue 08-Oct-19 01:01:57

Can I ask you how many times a week and for how long your lessons are? Thank you.
I feel a bit embarrassed about myself...

Nexa Tue 08-Oct-19 01:02:20

Could you join him with the lessons?

Afternoonlemonandhoney Tue 08-Oct-19 01:05:32

Well I'm not interest in learning French I also don't want to interfere with his hobby and his free time.

managedmis Tue 08-Oct-19 01:05:58

When did he decide he needed lessons? Before or after he met her?

Afternoonlemonandhoney Tue 08-Oct-19 01:08:40

I can't sleep! My head is spinning.

ThePawtriarchy Tue 08-Oct-19 01:10:42

Did he want french lessons and then found her or other way around? What is it exactly that’s making you wonder - is it just that she’s attractive or something else?

ThePawtriarchy Tue 08-Oct-19 01:12:46

Also are you often jealous or is there something about this situation bothering you more than normal?

Afternoonlemonandhoney Tue 08-Oct-19 01:15:50

Luckily before! He always wanted to speak proper French. They started with one hour and now is 2hs per lesson. I don't mind the duration of the lesson but the idea of being on a one to one tutoring is bothering me.

QueenofPain Tue 08-Oct-19 01:19:11

If you have a cottage in France, why do you have no interest in learning French?

Toastymash Tue 08-Oct-19 01:21:45

The WhatsApp contact is nothing to be suspicious about. It seems to be the go to method of communicating these days. I have used it for this type of thing as it's just easier.

I would just go with your gut. Or, if you have a good relationship with him maybe just talk to him about how you feel. His reaction will probably be quite telling

Afternoonlemonandhoney Tue 08-Oct-19 01:23:01

I don't want to jump to conclusions too quickly. She is the same age as me and my husband. When he talks about her he says she is brilliant.

FiddlesticksAkimbo Tue 08-Oct-19 01:25:20

Ask to join the WhatsApp group and see what his reaction is. Or accompany him to the lessons.

I think I can predict the reaction of a normal persongrin

ladybirdsarelovely33 Tue 08-Oct-19 01:25:30

Has anything changed in his behaviour towards you for you to suspect something?

Afternoonlemonandhoney Tue 08-Oct-19 01:32:06

Well is clear there is a close bond building up there.

minesagin37 Tue 08-Oct-19 01:33:50

Poor woman. ' my DH might fancy her so they will have an affair' Does she get a say in this? Give her some credit ffs!

DontLettuceBrexitLettuceRomain Tue 08-Oct-19 01:37:53

I think you're being incredibly unfair on both your DH and this woman who is just trying to do her job.

MrsFezziwig Tue 08-Oct-19 01:37:56

Well I'm not interested in learning French

If you have a cottage in France which you visit frequently you should be, so there’s your solution - you can join him at the classes.

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