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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's ok to sell your virginity?

202 replies

Ducksinarow1 · 14/07/2018 00:38

I've seen a couple of things recently about young women, usually 18-22ish selling their virginity for over £1m, sometimes even more. There was one on This Morning a while ago, saying she wanted to save for uni, start a business and help her parents buy their home. Everyone is always horrified by the idea, but AIBU to think it's worth it for an amount of money so massively life changing?

I lost my virginity to a boy who I was in a 'relationship' with and we liked each other, but it was awkward and painful and far from the ecstasy I'd imagined, and we broke up 2 months later. Most other people I have spoken to about their first time it didn't have that 'wow' moment either - mainly we just wanted to get it over with.

If you could fetch £1m, why wouldn't you?

OP posts:
FissionChips · 14/07/2018 00:42

I don’t believe women or any human should be able to be bought. It’s abhorrent.

ElderflowerWaterIsDelish · 14/07/2018 00:43

I personally wouldn't, call it what you want and dress it up any way you like, it's still being paid for sex, - prostitution,

If others want to do that then it's sad that they feel they have no other choice than to do that, I don't judge them because everybody has their own circumstances, but personally for me, I wouldn't ,

NoCureForLove · 14/07/2018 00:43

Yuk.

LEMtheoriginal · 14/07/2018 00:44

Bearing in mind this could result in young girls fullfilling the fantasies of paedophiles its prettyfucking sick

olympicsrock · 14/07/2018 00:45

It’s grim and would emotionally scar someone for life.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 14/07/2018 00:45

Female bodies as a commodity

No it supports the idea that men have the right to buy sex

They don’t

Why is it deemed acceptable that you women sell their bodies but not young men

Yerp · 14/07/2018 00:46

For 1million? Hell I’d sell it twice Grin

FissionChips · 14/07/2018 00:47

I don’t even think these stories about getting a million for it are true. Men can buy a virgin Asia for a couple of hundered pounds.

HildaZelda · 14/07/2018 00:47

To be honest I don't believe that any of those women 'selling their virginity' are actually virgins in the first place.

agnurse · 14/07/2018 00:48

Frankly that's disgusting. It's reducing a woman's value to simply her vagina. Women are worth MORE than that. Not to mention that you could get an STI that you may have for your entire life and could pass on to another partner or even an innocent child.

There are better ways to make money than selling yourself. I make about £55k a year equivalent (we live in Canada so cheaper cost of living) from my job as a nursing instructor. I was hired for my brains. I love my job and get fabulous benefits.

AmazingPostVoices · 14/07/2018 00:48

Why is it ok to buy it for £1m but not for £10?

The morality of the act isn’t impacted by the price.

silversfish · 14/07/2018 00:49

1 sex should never be bought or put up for sale
2 there is no such thing as virginity in the sense no other act that a person has never done has its own word its not a physical thing.
3 losing you're virginity is almost always awkward.selling youre virginity wouldnt make the first time you have sex normally any elss awkward

MsPavlichenko · 14/07/2018 00:52

Yes. You are. As you know. The £1 million is a nonsense. FYI. Most asked question in a brothel. How young have you got?

More pimp propoganda.

YorkiepudNgravy · 14/07/2018 00:52

I basically sold mine for a few wkd’s and cheesy chips..

I’d do it, if I could turn back time.

knittingdad · 14/07/2018 00:56

While you might worry about a man who would pay for sex anyway, I would particularly worry about a man who would pay extra for sex with a virgin.

Original poster
Ducksinarow1 · 14/07/2018 00:57

Is it immoral if both people consent? Doesn't making this decision put the woman in control?

Personally I do agree it would scar you to do this, and it's far from being the ideal scenario, but lots of things in life are scarring. I worry about money a lot, I worry whether my parents are ok, what if I lose my job, whether I'll have enough to look after my family. After tax I'll be lucky if I earn £1m over a whole lifetime.

I'd guess that young men don't do it not because it's unacceptable, but because there aren't any bidders?

OP posts:
ElderflowerWaterIsDelish · 14/07/2018 01:00

Op you aren't thinking of pretending to be a virgin and advertising your "virginity" online for sale so you can make sure you and your parents are financially secure are you?

If you are then don't do it, there is other ways to make money without selling yourself and putting yourself in danger with a complete stranger who may do God knows what to you

agnurse · 14/07/2018 01:05

Armin Meiwes was convicted of murder after he killed and ate someone with that person's full and complete consent. (Seriously.) The fact that both parties freely consented to it didn't make it legal.

FissionChips · 14/07/2018 01:08

Are you a man who likes to buy women?

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 14/07/2018 01:13

Is it immoral if both people consent?
Ok you’re entitled to this opinion but it sounds like the same king of justification for prostitution and commercial surrogacy. If the women want it, what’s wrong with that, right? Belies a lack of critical thinking behind the reasons that these women would consider this kind of commercial transaction regarding their own body.

MsFrizzle · 14/07/2018 01:15

I'm a 24 year old virgin and I'd do it in a milisecond if I were hot enough.

FriendOfScarecrow · 14/07/2018 01:17

I can see why the woman would do it, like with any form of prostitution. Desperate women do desperate things.

DO I think the sort of man who would pay a million pounds to be first on some poor girl like she's a fucking mountain to be climbed should be allowed to buy her virginity?

No. He should be in jail.

quizqueen · 14/07/2018 01:17

I'd call it good business acumen. Some girls give it away to some skanky lad round the back of the bike shed for nothing. They are the fools.

GunpowderGelatine · 14/07/2018 01:17

It a man has to throw money at a woman to get her to sleep with him - and that's the only reason she agrees to it (so not because she actually wants to or is attracted to him) - that is coercive sex, and, in my view, non-consensual. There is no sum of money worth being raped for.

AmazingPostVoices · 14/07/2018 01:19

Is it immoral if both people consent?

Yes. Morality is about right and wrong. Consenting to being sold and abused doesn’t make the act of abuse any less wrong.

Apart from anything else sit down and have a really good think about what kind of man would pay £1m for sex with a young girl would be like.

Consider what that man thinks about the girl.

Consider how he thinks about that girl.

Is he going to have any scruples at all about hurting her, degrading her, abusing her physically or mentally?

Is he going to be concerned about her health, her well being, her emotional state?

Of course not. He’ll be an abuser who thinks he can do anything he likes to the thing he paid for.

A young, sexually inexperienced woman will have no idea at all just how horrific that experience could be in such circumstances.