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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's ok to sell your virginity?

202 replies

Ducksinarow1 · 14/07/2018 00:38

I've seen a couple of things recently about young women, usually 18-22ish selling their virginity for over £1m, sometimes even more. There was one on This Morning a while ago, saying she wanted to save for uni, start a business and help her parents buy their home. Everyone is always horrified by the idea, but AIBU to think it's worth it for an amount of money so massively life changing?

I lost my virginity to a boy who I was in a 'relationship' with and we liked each other, but it was awkward and painful and far from the ecstasy I'd imagined, and we broke up 2 months later. Most other people I have spoken to about their first time it didn't have that 'wow' moment either - mainly we just wanted to get it over with.

If you could fetch £1m, why wouldn't you?

OP posts:
EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 14/07/2018 12:10

Why do so many want to romanticize the buying of sex

Pretty Woman is a fantasy

BonnieF · 14/07/2018 12:16

I completely fail to understand the basic rationale of this. Why on earth would a man want to pay a fortune to shag a virgin? She knows nothing about sex, and would be completely hopeless at it.

Surely the services of an experienced hooker who is a mistress of her profession, knows every trick in the book and could shag his brains out until he couldn’t take any more would be a far better investment?

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 14/07/2018 12:19

Because it is about power and ownership not sex

Sallystyle · 14/07/2018 12:37

I think prostitution is awful and men who would pay to sleep with a virgin are pathetic women hating pricks.

However, for 1M pounds I would probably do it. That's a life changing amount of money which would be very hard to turn down.

Original poster
Ducksinarow1 · 14/07/2018 13:06

The comparison with removals men made by a previous poster was interesting. Aren’t we all renting out our bodies to our employers for various purposes? The employers have the power. But we ‘choose’ this we do so because it’s better than the alternative.

Should this be different?

It seems that the squeamishness about this comes down to the fact we consider sex and that part of our bodies sacred unlike any other. I wonder if it will always be like this.

OP posts:
BonnieF · 14/07/2018 13:06

I agree, U2.

Whatever the rights and wrongs, £1m is still a life-changing amount of money for most people. It would be an offer I couldn’t refuse, and nor could I criticise anyone else for making the same choice.

Kursk · 14/07/2018 13:13

Everything has a price, and it’s her body and her choice.

Do you think organs should be sold too?
Again your body your choice.

Kursk · 14/07/2018 13:15

£1m is still a life-changing amount of money for most people. It would be an offer I couldn’t refuse, and nor could I criticise anyone else for making the same choice.

This

Typhers · 14/07/2018 13:17

It’s absolutely fine to sell your virginity if you are lacking in any morals and don’t mind adding one more thing to your list of actions to be ashamed of 👍

Mrsharrison · 14/07/2018 13:18

It seems that the squeamishness about this comes down to the fact we consider sex and that part of our bodies sacred unlike any other. I wonder if it will always be like this.

Yes and many men don't share this squeamishness.
The "sacredness" of sex seems to be reserved for women to keep us in our place.
Me and my friend asked our DPs if they would sleep with another woman for £500k. They both were adamant no they wouldn't because they were in committed relationships Hmm.
We both said they'd both be dumped if they turned down the opportunity of changing our lives.
Not all women find sex that sacred.

Justtheonequestion · 14/07/2018 13:18

I would, just as id sell sex. Better than giving it away for free. Women give sex thinking it is 'love' or 'fun'.
Men leave in a heartbeat. Its more secure and wise to get money from it, plus the fun would be there when spending it.

Justtheonequestion · 14/07/2018 13:20

Ashamed of? Why?
If youre going to be ashamed at least be ashamed of putting a penus in your vagina, because whos it is really doesnt matter so long as theyre a consenting adult.
Why is your sex life ok but that isnt? No difference imo so long as the woman chooses

Typhers · 14/07/2018 13:27

So selling your virginity to say a 70 year old man would be acceptable? Where do you draw the line on the money, would it be ok if it was for £1,000? What about £10?

Would you be proud if your teenage daughter sold their virginity for a few pounds?....

Noqont · 14/07/2018 13:27

don’t mind adding one more thing to your list of actions to be ashamed of

Eh? Speak for yourself. I wouldn't be ashamed. Shame is an issue you need to work on though by the sound of it.

AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen · 14/07/2018 13:29

It seems that the squeamishness about this comes down to the fact we consider sex and that part of our bodies sacred unlike any other. I wonder if it will always be like this.

My stance probably comes from the opposite place I think. For me, sex is something to be enjoyed that should be owned by the participants, given with free will and therefore there should not be a high value placed on a woman who has not had sex. The fact that a man feels he is able to buy virginity shows women in that respect are not considered equally and are a commodity to be traded. It perpetuates the value of "purity" which ties in with child brides etc and I just hate it. If none of that were in existence, if women and girls were truly equal then a £1million for my virginity? You're damn straight I'd do it and be laughing all the way to the bank! But if we were truly equal then the opportunity wouldn't exist.
I would never ever look down on a woman for selling her body, nor do I think it's anything for her to be ashamed of, but I hate the underlying principles that have created it.

Justtheonequestion · 14/07/2018 13:30

I wouldnt be ashamed of her at all, shes my daughter. Actually id think her wiser than the naive teenage girls giving it free to lads their own age who then dump them and blab to their mates. At least shed have something to show for it.

Noqont · 14/07/2018 13:30

Where do you draw the line on the money, would it be ok if it was for £1,000? What about £10?

Depends how skint I was at the time. A few grand would have probably done it though at the time. Like any job though really isn't it. What the lowest is you're prepared to accept.

Would you be proud if your teenage daughter sold their virginity for a few pounds?

She wouldn't need to.

Justtheonequestion · 14/07/2018 13:31

Ive worked in care mopping up body fluids and being pissed/shat on. How is sex for money any worse than that?

AlphaBravo · 14/07/2018 13:32

I'd do it. My body. My choice.

Racecardriver · 14/07/2018 13:35

But that kind of thing (sex work) has the potential to ruin a woman's life. Her job protects, her liklihood to marry, a career is politics is out if the question. £1 million is a very low price for all that. Ultimately, if one really had no scruples about selling oneself for a but if cash one could do it legitimately (marry a wealthy older man, plenty of them in Britain and them divorce him a few years later and get a settlement). I don't think that there anything inherently wrong with using your body for finacial gain but it us incredibly shortsighted (I would even call it stupid) to sell it for so little money.

Royallypissedoff1 · 14/07/2018 13:39

£1m is still a life-changing amount of money for most people. It would be an offer I couldn’t refuse, and nor could I criticise anyone else for making the same choice.

Agreed!

wrenika · 14/07/2018 13:40

I think people can do what they like...if you can net decent money for doing so then I can definitely see the motivation.

Typhers · 14/07/2018 13:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Justtheonequestion · 14/07/2018 13:41

But marriage is hardly something to aspire to bar the security of money. Most people wont be politicians.
Depends on your background. 1m is a lifetime of security, much more than relying on a bloke you love.

NanaNoodleman · 14/07/2018 13:41

Moronically repeating “choice” completely overlooks the fact that choices aren’t made in a vacuum. Don’t you ever wonder why we don’t live in a society where women trade young men for money? Is it cool to live in a culture where one sex has more power and money and doles it out to the other based on youth and sexual attractiveness? And once you’ve lost that chucks you on the scrap heap?
This system shits on all women. Even if you can work it to your advantage for 5, maybe 10 years, after that you’re fucked. And the ugly old men still have all the money, power and control.