Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's ok to sell your virginity?

202 replies

Ducksinarow1 · 14/07/2018 00:38

I've seen a couple of things recently about young women, usually 18-22ish selling their virginity for over £1m, sometimes even more. There was one on This Morning a while ago, saying she wanted to save for uni, start a business and help her parents buy their home. Everyone is always horrified by the idea, but AIBU to think it's worth it for an amount of money so massively life changing?

I lost my virginity to a boy who I was in a 'relationship' with and we liked each other, but it was awkward and painful and far from the ecstasy I'd imagined, and we broke up 2 months later. Most other people I have spoken to about their first time it didn't have that 'wow' moment either - mainly we just wanted to get it over with.

If you could fetch £1m, why wouldn't you?

OP posts:
FriendOfScarecrow · 14/07/2018 01:22

How fucked up is it that men think women have been devalued once they have sex.

FriendOfScarecrow · 14/07/2018 01:22

But still want to fuck them.

Almost like they want to be the one who devalues her.

It's so fucked up.

knittingdad · 14/07/2018 01:23

Okay, so I found this forum thread where women considering this are asking prostitutes for advice about how to go about it. Generally not recommended and sounds very unlikely that you could be paid £1m.
saafe.info/main/questions-and-answers/virginity-and-escorting/

Original poster
Ducksinarow1 · 14/07/2018 01:24

No, I'm not thinking about doing it (definitely wouldn't get a million!)

My first thought was uugh that's horrible, and wrong, but after thinking about it, I couldn't really work out why it's considered so totally off limits if both people consent (and assuming it's legal and reasonably safe - i.e that the risk of STIs/ being murdered is no more likely than the average internet date).

Much as we don't like to admit it, everything has a price tag. Maybe you wouldn't do it for £1m, but what about £1bn or £6bn? Think about all the good you could do in the world with that much money. You could give millions to charity and make hundreds of thousands of people's lives better.

OP posts:
FriendOfScarecrow · 14/07/2018 01:26

I'd call it good business acumen. Some girls give it away to some skanky lad round the back of the bike shed for nothing. They are the fools.

Hmm

Do you even like sex?

That's why they "gave it away" to the lad round the corner. They liked him. Just like he "gave it away" to them.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 14/07/2018 01:26

Consent doesn’t=informed decision.you see people take consent to be acquiescence
The power imbalance is wrong in this set up.an adult with money,making a purchase isn’t equal to a young woman selling
The imbalance is female selling & commoditising her sexuality to a prosperous male who’ll buy and consume

FissionChips · 14/07/2018 01:26

I’d probably commit suicide if I did it, even for 100 billion.

Do you think organs should be sold too?

MsFrizzle · 14/07/2018 01:28

Look, if somebody's willing to be the first to stick it in for £1bn I would absolutely do it no matter what they looked like. Sex means nothing to me and my vagina is just another vagina - if he's stupid enough to pay that much for the "privilege" I don't give a shit, I'll take the money and be set for life.

knittingdad · 14/07/2018 01:29

I've also found this follow-up story about the woman who was on This Morning about selling her virginity.

metro.co.uk/2018/04/18/teenager-sold-virginity-2-million-lied-virgin-7472767/

FriendOfScarecrow · 14/07/2018 01:30

uch as we don't like to admit it, everything has a price tag. Maybe you wouldn't do it for £1m, but what about £1bn or £6bn? Think about all the good you could do in the world with that much money. You could give millions to charity and make hundreds of thousands of people's lives better.

Of course I would. There's probably not much I wouldn't do for that kind of money. It would set my children up for life and that matters to me I'd probably literally eat shit. Would it make it OK though?

If a man offered a million pounds to me to watch me eat my own shit, and I agreed would you call it real consent?

AmazingPostVoices · 14/07/2018 01:33

Sex means nothing to me

You know not of what you speak Frizzle.

I don’t want to be patronising but honestly it’s really not simple or easy.

user546425732 · 14/07/2018 01:33

Yes. It'd have been better than losing it to rape. It's all relative.

AmazingPostVoices · 14/07/2018 01:34

Much as we don't like to admit it, everything has a price tag. Maybe you wouldn't do it for £1m, but what about £1bn or £6bn?

No not everything has a price tag.

Original poster
Ducksinarow1 · 14/07/2018 01:37

If a man offered a million pounds to me to watch me eat my own shit, and I agreed would you call it real consent?

Yes - you are weighing up the options and making a decision based on what is important to you. As long as there is no coercion I'd call it consent.
(If it was a woman offering the money I'd say the same)

OP posts:
FriendOfScarecrow · 14/07/2018 01:39

I bet there are a lot of people in dire enough financial situations right now that they'd be willing to exchange their own lives for a billion pounds if they knew their children would be safe from poverty.

Still wouldn't make it OK. Still wouldn't want to legalise it.

MsFrizzle · 14/07/2018 01:42

**You know not of what you speak Frizzle.

I don’t want to be patronising but honestly it’s really not simple or easy.**

I'm asexual. Don't tell me I don't know my own body - that's as patronising as a man doing the same.

starzig · 14/07/2018 01:48

I think it is completely up to the individual. Nobody should be told what they can and can't do with their own body

FriendOfScarecrow · 14/07/2018 01:55

I'm asexual. Don't tell me I don't know my own body - that's as patronising as a man doing the same.

So straight people could just have lots of gay sex for money with no issue then as they aren't attracted to the other person. And vice versa.

Except people who have had sex know that's not how it works and the first time a man you feel no attraction to sticks his hands in your vagina you'd want to puke.

MsFrizzle · 14/07/2018 02:13

Except people who have had sex know that's not how it works and the first time a man you feel no attraction to sticks his hands in your vagina you'd want to puke.

How do you know that's how I'd feel? I'm a virgin. That doesn't mean I've never had a sexual experience - it didn't bother me one bit.

LookAtThatCritter · 14/07/2018 02:43

It’s funny the number of people saying that men shouldn’t be allowed to buy sex, but really the issue is does the woman want to sell it?

If I want to sell my body for money then that’s my decision!

user546425732 · 14/07/2018 02:51

Sex means nothing to me

Same. I have no problem with never having to do it again.

Monty27 · 14/07/2018 02:57

yerp that made me giggle. At least you aren't greedy. You could go for thrice Grin

Seriously though. Prostitution is awful. I cannot respect any man who would stoop so low. As for women that sell themselves I don't know how they could do it.

AmazingPostVoices · 14/07/2018 05:11

I'm asexual. Don't tell me I don't know my own body - that's as patronising as a man doing the same.

That wasn’t my intention at all Frizzle. Of course you know your own body best.

beardymcbeardy · 14/07/2018 06:00

Yanbu. If I could go back I'd seriously consider it If do it in a heartbeat. Certainly wouldn't judge another woman for doing it.

onanothertrain · 14/07/2018 07:07

A woman can do what she likes with her body and clearly this would be her choice. Perhaps she doesn't see anything special about losing her virginity and views it as a business deal. It's still prostitution though.