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To think these wedding arrangements are stingy?

(350 Posts)
Balloon65 Fri 25-May-18 23:20:38

Going to a wedding in July where there isn’t going to be any food put on in the evening, despite it being a big wedding and an extra 70 evening guests joining the party. I thought that was quite bad, but on top of that the wedding breakfast which was billed as an afternoon tea has turned about to be a buffet at the side of sandwiches, scones and cake. I don’t know whether the tables will be called up one by one to get their food or if there’ll be 100+ people queuing at the same time.

AIBU to think this is a weird arrangement and guests will be starving?

OP’s posts: |
SilverySurfer Fri 25-May-18 23:24:59

Sounds really stingy to me, if you go I suggest you take emergency rations so you don't starve. It's ridiculous to expect people to survive all day and evening on a scone and bit of cake.

OwlinaTree Fri 25-May-18 23:25:48

There will be some very drunk guests!

Jojoanna Fri 25-May-18 23:26:01

Don’t go then

19lottie82 Fri 25-May-18 23:26:11

YANBU, you need some food in the evening, especially if people have been on the booze all day.

eightfacesofthemoon Fri 25-May-18 23:26:16

Take supplies! Stuff a pork pie in your gusset and you’ll be fine!

Thehop Fri 25-May-18 23:27:07

Pop off for an hour for dinner, and spend less on a gift.

Balloon65 Fri 25-May-18 23:27:25

I know I’m on table 10 of 12 and I’m worried that if we’re called up by table there’ll be nothing left.

OP’s posts: |
19lottie82 Fri 25-May-18 23:27:42

Don’t go then

And the award for most useful response goes to.....hmm

crazycatgal Fri 25-May-18 23:29:40

Leave for an hour or so to get something to eat, I would.

RoseAndRose Fri 25-May-18 23:31:09

The afternoon tea sounds fine. And buffets are a normal form of catering, so I think your concerns about admin are misplaced.

And I assume the wedding starts clearly after lunchtime, so that people know to eat first.

And evening guests shouid know to eat before they arrive.

But what about the main cohort of guests. When do they get their dinner? I think it's just plain wrong to invite people over main, normal mealtimes and not feed them.

(It's nearly as bad as providing food outside the times it's typically served).

divafever99 Fri 25-May-18 23:32:05

Yes guests will probably be starving! I once went to a wedding and the wedding breakfast never happened, they had only booked an evening buffet. Wedding was 2pm, so day guests were starving at this point - it was that bad some people even left the venue and brought bag happy meals for their children!!!

Balloon65 Fri 25-May-18 23:32:27

There is a pub next door and the couple have said that if people are hungry they can go there for a pub meal, so we may well do that. I don’t understand why they’ve bothered with a table plan for a buffet.

OP’s posts: |
divafever99 Fri 25-May-18 23:34:00

Oh and just thought of another where the main meal was a hot Buffet, we were the last table to go up and there was nothing left! Ended up with a bag of crisps from behind the bar!

LoniceraJaponica Fri 25-May-18 23:34:36

"And evening guests shouid know to eat before they arrive"

It is usual to provide food in the evening. The bride and groom need to make it clear that there will be no food otherwise they will be disappointed that the guests will leave eraly because they are hungry.

There is nothing wrong with a buffet for the wedding breakfast. We had one, and there was plenty of food for everyone.

Oysterbabe Fri 25-May-18 23:35:54

I went to a similar one a few weeks ago and people were left fighting over a few chicken goujons. Definitely go to the pub for a proper meal.

Balloon65 Fri 25-May-18 23:36:44

And I assume the wedding starts clearly after lunchtime, so that people know to eat first.

And evening guests shouid know to eat before they arrive.

But what about the main cohort of guests. When do they get their dinner? I think it's just plain wrong to invite people over main, normal mealtimes and not feed them.

Wedding starts at 12:45. The evening guests haven’t been told that there’s no food, so I’m not sure what they’ll assume. The main cohort get the afternoon tea/buffet at 3. My biggest fear is the nice sandwiches and cakes will be gone by the time it’s my table’s turn grin

OP’s posts: |
CandleWithHair Fri 25-May-18 23:37:48

If you can’t afford to feed your guests properly (day and evening) then you should either invite fewer so you can, or make the wedding no gifts but bring a dish. This sounds seriously stingy.

viques Fri 25-May-18 23:40:22

I hope they've warned the pub next door that there might be 100 nicely dressed but starving customers turning up!

KirstenRaymonde Fri 25-May-18 23:41:47

This is bad form. If it starts at 12.45 most people won’t have eaten lunch as will have been travelling. Afternoon tea is fine if it’s substatial but a later meal needs to be provided. If I was just an evening guest I’d assume there would be something to nibble on, nothing at all is rude even if people may have eaten supper beforehand. The full day guests will be starving. Poor show from the bride and groom.

TheFrendo Fri 25-May-18 23:42:41

At my BIL's wedding a few of us went out for fish and chips before the evening bash. Sorted the hunger and Gave us a feeling of camaraderie.

KirstenRaymonde Fri 25-May-18 23:43:28

I’d feel very sick just drinking and eating sweet food all day

Merryoldgoat Fri 25-May-18 23:43:50

That’s extremely stingy. If you can’t afford a wedding then you shouldn’t have one.

A 12.45 start means realistically no one will be able to eat lunch so afternoon tea but no evening food is utterly ridiculous.

A friend got married 9 years ago and she didn’t but cater enough. All anyone remembers is being starving all evening. People were queuing for pizza afterwards.

Balloon65 Fri 25-May-18 23:45:12

I cannot understand people who throw these weddings and give no consideration the their guests’ enjoyment. The invitation came complete with a request for money too.

OP’s posts: |
BlooBagoo Fri 25-May-18 23:48:02

Any takeaways nearby so you can order a delivery later on? Although you'd possibly have to eat it while fending off ravenous evening guests. ;)

The money request wasn't a poem was it?

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