To think these wedding arrangements are stingy?

[Balloon65]

Going to a wedding in July where there isn’t going to be any food put on in the evening, despite it being a big wedding and an extra 70 evening guests joining the party. I thought that was quite bad, but on top of that the wedding breakfast which was billed as an afternoon tea has turned about to be a buffet at the side of sandwiches, scones and cake. I don’t know whether the tables will be called up one by one to get their food or if there’ll be 100+ people queuing at the same time.

AIBU to think this is a weird arrangement and guests will be starving?

Having a buffet (or even a pot luck where you ask everyone to bring a dish instead of a present) is not an issue.

Letting your guests go hungry and telling them they can go to the pub if necessary is just not on.

but it is not your wedding and I find it very rude of you to criticise

No its rude not to feed your guests. Worst weddings are always the ones there is issues with this.

How close is this person and have you accepted? I'd be very tempted to either not go on the grounds they are being cheeky fucks or go just to see what is dished up with no gift.

Who invites people to a wedding and then says go the pub next door if your hungry. Oh and we only want cash! FFS

Please come back and tell us what happened! Promise

Isn't this the second thread you've started about how shit this wedding is? I agree that their plans sound pretty terrible, but why don't you just not go (I think you've already said they're friends not family), rather then revelling in getting strangers to slag them off online?

If I was there all day with no real food I'd be tempted to get a takeaway delivered or pop to Mcdonalds and then bring the food back and blatantly eat it at the venue to make a point. Very unclassy I know, and not something I'd normally do, but it'd be amusing.
Are there any children invited to the wedding? Because they're bound to get tired and hangry with no proper food after a long day.

It's not going to look that great on instagram. Empty photobooths, B&G and a handful of shitfaced/starving guests because everyone else is in the pub/gone home. Could you ask the bride for other local food places as the pub is likely to be overflowing? Might start her thinking.

How well do know them?

I only go if I know people well - well that's after a few very long days at weddings - so can you get out of it or leave at half time?

All these posters saying people are missing the point and that we need to be less obsessed with being ‘catered for’ when the real focus is the wedding and luuuurve and blah blah blah - are you SERIOUSLY telling me you’d ordinarily go from 12.45pm till midnight with just a few sandwiches?? Especially if you were drinking and dancing? What are you all? Snakes that only eat once a fortnight??? JFC!

I also think that, if you are close to bride, groom or both, you should have a gentle word. If they carry on with this particular plan, I foresee additional fun in that a poncy venue which has provided catering will kick up a fuss if guests bring in their own food or drink...

There are people who think food is no big deal, and that a few sandwiches are fine for this length of time. But most people don't think like that at all.

I agree with pps that have said that guests will be hungry (and drunk!) With this arrangement.

There does seem to be a trend of couples having a size of wedding that they can't really afford , forcing their guests to pay extra.

For example dh and I married a few months ago and knew that we could realistically only afford to feed and water about 15 people properly. That's what we did , we had a late afternoon wedding in a convenient environment and then an early dinner with each of our guests. We also said no to gifts as we didn't need anything for our house. It was a really relaxed and lovely day.

I'd be tempted to go to the actual service but skip the rest after making my excuses. Basically if people want a big wedding and party it's a bit cf to have one if you don't have the cash to do it right.

It's not about the food, it's the hospitality . You offer a cuppa etc when someone pops round to your house, it's just good manners.

Yabu

Weddings are not about the food and they’re probably sticking to a budget. Nobody is going to starve if they have sandwiches and cake there.

If they’ve made it clear what the arrangements are and mentioned that people can get a full pub meal at the library cal pub then guests will be prepared.

*local not library cal

Gilian Can't you see the impact it will have if half the guests disappear to the pub for a few hours?

Also, it may be a huge load of various sandwiches and a dozen big fancy cakes as well as a cream tea? Could be enough to feed an army for all we know.

I've had three bad buffet experiences. I always seem to end up on the last table. Nothing more agonising than spending 45mins (or longer) watching people squeeze past your chair with delicious looking pulled pork and langoustines and the like for your table to finally get called up and there to be only iceberg lettuce left. Especially if you have hungry children enduring the same. And then some people don't even finish their plates. Seriously caterers, if you only budgeted stingy portions, you need people serving the hungry rugby players. (I had another buffet experience where the food was plentiful but had gone cold, and another that was basic fare but totally yummy and there was enough for everyone to have loads and loads, sometimes it pays to keep it simple.)

One of the funniest things uv read on the internet is about the wedding of only veg sticks and dips. All day. By late afternoon guests started popping to a local mcdonalds. The bride became hugely offendes had a stop and blocked the doorway to stop people leaving. Im pretty sure the poster said she screamed brides day brides way before being peeled away by her dad. Moral feed your guests. At best its stingy at worst if there is booze you are potentially putting them in a dangerous situation.

Maybe so but they’ve planned it knowing that’s an option so they can’t be that bothered.

I wouldn’t go off to the pub. I’d make do and if I was really worried I’d pop out to my car and stuff down a snack.

I just don’t think it’s such an issue that it needs to be fretted over. There are ways around it.... make do, go to pub, take a sneaky snack, or decline the invite if it’s that much of an issue.

Sorry, got carried away with my rant there! The moral of which was - put a pork pie or five in your handbag for later!!!

Gillian I suspect the bride and groom have not thought through what this will really mean in practice.
And if you are hosting someone, feeding them is a basic thing. It is bad manners to invite someone to a wedding and not make sure there is enough food.

Even if you're fine with the food, and I know many people who would be, for me it's that they can't bothered to provide properly for guests, they're having an Instagram wedding and asking for money. Rude.

I agree with Don't go then

Gillian it's a party at the end if the day and unacceptable and rude not to host properly. People cannot go all day on sandwiches and cake. It's not normal for a wedding. Just another couple whose budget priorities are all wrong.

Seems to be a new trend; people wanting a wedding akin to the Beckhams but on nowhere near the budget. I used to work in a pub and a wedding was booked for the entire day one Saturday, B&G were married at the church round the corner so everyone walked to the pub. She (B) was in loads sorting out floor space, counting chairs etc. It was a very small pub, nice, very ‘olde worlde’ - oak beams, proper fire and she wanted a string quartet and tables for food. Impossible within those space constraints, but it was much, much cheaper than other local venues (hotels, golf clubs). I’d say for this time and ‘afternoon tea’ then it should be put on tables, rather than a buffet as the earlier tables will get most of it (especially if there isn’t much to start with). It is stingy to just give people a couple of sandwiches and cakes in a 12 hour period (including travelling) and most people don’t eat their evening meal until after 7, so if they have to travel to the venue and get ready beforehand they’d have to eat around 4-5. Get an account with Papa Johns OP!