To think these wedding arrangements are stingy?

[Balloon65]

Going to a wedding in July where there isn’t going to be any food put on in the evening, despite it being a big wedding and an extra 70 evening guests joining the party. I thought that was quite bad, but on top of that the wedding breakfast which was billed as an afternoon tea has turned about to be a buffet at the side of sandwiches, scones and cake. I don’t know whether the tables will be called up one by one to get their food or if there’ll be 100+ people queuing at the same time.

AIBU to think this is a weird arrangement and guests will be starving?

"Any takeaways nearby so you can order a delivery later on?"

Another poster did this at a party and the host took extreme umbrage.

But what about the main cohort of guests. When do they get their dinner? I think it's just plain wrong to invite people over main, normal mealtimes and not feed them.

In this case, two normal mealtimes.

Afternoon tea buffet is de rigueur and I'd enjoy it hugely (assuming appropriate quantities). But if the bride and groom are genuinely expecting people to go next door for their dinner then their party will move on without them, which would be excruciating.

Any clues about the alcohol situation? Will everyone be plastered on Prosecco, Pimms and gin for want of solid food and pacing?

It's hard isn't it. I'd never want anyone to spend more than they can afford but issues with who to invite in families can be difficult, and on the same hand hungry guests isn't ok.

It's not ideal, but take yourself off for food when hungry and just let it go on the day.

I was coming on to say your idea of stingy might be their idea of splashing out, small budget, but it truly does sound like a combination of either stingy or badly planned catering and the hope that people will push off to the pub. YANBU.

I'm sure your wedding would be so much better, but it is not your wedding and I find it very rude of you to criticise.

Oh yes, everyone will be plastered. Without a doubt.

''There is a pub next door and the couple have said that if people are hungry they can go there for a pub meal,''

jesus christ-are they for real?

Yeah, DS, it’s not the money spent, it’s the way it’s being done. My cousin went to a social club after her wedding and had a buffet and it was great, but they is a huge church wedding, 200 guests, big posh stately hall booked for the reception, photo booths, huge lit up letters etc., but no food on the night and a buffet for the wedding breakfast but also a table plan with enforced seats.

It sounds grim and I’d be very put out about being expected to spend money on what is going to be a shit day (let’s face it) and probably having to leave early to get food
I’d seriously consider not going

Absolutely they’re for real. They didn’t seem to see much wrong with what they were saying.

This is a pet peeve of mine. So much so that I really ensured no one would go hungry at my wedding. Ceremony at 1.30pm with a full Caribbean themed buffet during the cocktail hour. We then had a full 3 course meal at 6pm when the evening guests arrived. If you can't afford a decent meal, invite less people or change the venue!!

Their priorities sound massively out of whack. Spending what sounds like a lot of money on the venue, a huge number of guests and luxury extras and not feeding people is just ridiculous. If you can’t swerve it entirely, make sure you take a picnic OP!

Oh we went to a similar wedding
It was horrendous and quite far from anything, it wasn't made clear that food would be tiny so people had to drive a few miles to get food
One guy did a few runs because a) everyone eas hammered b) most of us were Londoners and didn't have cars.

The bride spent £5k on the dress £2k on flowers, but dog forbid anyone gets fed properly. And there was fucking casino thing, don't know how much it was but no one used it.

I went to one with a buffet, there were only six tables (small wedding) but the only vegetarian options were the egg sandwiches, crisps and cakes. And I didn’t dare touch the cakes after I caught two of the bridesmaids licking the icing and putting them back. I left starving.

I went to a wedding like this. Wedding was around 12. Supposes to be afternoon tea but was just very simple sandwiches and 1 packet of crisps between all guests, about 40 people. Evening meal was .. exactly the same. Literally. Just white bread sandwiches. Not even after sweet stuff! Wish we'd disappeared for food but we didn't know evening buffet would be so awful. Imo it's bad form.

Does the bride/groom have a history of dodgy attitude towards food or something? If they are spending a lot of money on the venue and (by the sound of it) booze but only limited spend on food, that's not just stinginess, that's the sort of mindset that doesn't think eating is very important, and tends to be either bemused or disgusted that other people want to eat more than once a day. (There have been previous threads about this sort of attitude: PIL who don't eat lunch, for example, and get offended if visitors appear hungry...)

This is ridiculous to me. My ceremony will start between 2pm and 2.30pm and be over 45 minutes later. Dinner will be around 5ish and evening buffet around 9.30-10.00.

I'm still panicking about hungry guests and I'm considering canapes and light bites between the ceremony and meal.

We're compromising on a lot of things to keep the wedding within budget but that doesn't extend to our guests happiness. We can live without the nice floral arrangements, your friend can't.

Oh no, reanimated - there’ll be a lot of alcohol but it won’t be free, the bride and groom aren’t paying for it.

I know I’m on table 10 of 12 and I’m worried that if we’re called up by table there’ll be nothing left
This did happen to me at a full on food buffet, so your fears are not unfounded. Sorry. Needless to say, the guests who were left with the scraps departed early as we were starving.

In answer to your OP, yes, it is very stingy 'hosting' by the B&G. If they can't afford to feed everyone properly they need to either scale back the guest list or scale back in other areas to something affordable.

Went to a wedding recently where it was a buffet. Everyone queued at once, by the time we got to it there was barely anything left, the caterers had massively underestimated how much 150 odd people can eat :( Plus the time spent queuing! Much prefer sit down meals.

sailorcherries some canapes or something might be a good idea especially if there are any children. It will keep guests happy whilst you have photos or whatever

Voluminous handbags hide a multitude of sins.

Given what you've said I sadly doubt that there will be much if any nice cake and good sarnies at all!

Dry sponge fingers and limp cucumber and ham more like...

TAKE SUPPLIES

and go for a huge pub meal

Most weddings are the first formal and the biggest parties that the bride and groom, who are often quite young, will ever orgrnaise.
They usually have a small budget and a lot more guests than they ever imagined, to cater for. They are inexperienced.
Cut them some slack. I don't think they are deliberately being stingy. If you are worried about food bring sandwiches.
You seem to be obsessed with being catered for. If you feel they haven't thought something through, why don't you just mention it to them. At the end of the day, its their wedding and they've invited you because they want you to share the day with them.
Its about their wedding, not about food. there's nothing in your post that suggests this resonates with you. Perhaps you shouldn't go.

OP maybe call the pub in advance if you're definitely going to the wedding. I'm not hopeful that there will be anywhere near enough food, will probs only last til table 4 or 5! People get greedy at buffets and try to pile as much food as possible on their plates!
Personally I wouldn't go but that's because I have a 3 year old who needs to eat regularly.