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To ask if you would re-marry your DP, knowing now what you didn't back then?

(485 Posts)
constantchange Tue 09-Jan-18 08:27:11

I thought this would make for an interesting thread.--
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If you could go back to the year you married your husband/wife, would you still marry them, knowing everything you do about them now that you didn't back then?

OP’s posts: |
nobutreally Tue 09-Jan-18 09:08:41

Absolutely. I'd do the wedding differently, I suspect, but he's a keeper.

Loonoonow Tue 09-Jan-18 09:09:32

No. We've been together 30 years and are happy enough, but this isn't the life I expected or wanted.

Wincarnis Tue 09-Jan-18 09:11:01

No, absolutely not, with bells on

BlessThisMess Tue 09-Jan-18 09:14:17

No. I had doubts even then, but had nowhere else to live and didn't want to hurt him. I should have run like the wind.

mindutopia Tue 09-Jan-18 09:18:20

Yes, absolutely. In fact, as they years have gone by (we have been together nearly 10 years, married for nearly 7, and 2 kids), I'm more sure even than I was then that this was right for both of us. We have a good happy life, despite having gone through some tough times (just in life, not our relationship with each other) and I feel very grateful that we found each other.

user1487671808 Tue 09-Jan-18 09:20:08

Without hesitation! Mind you we’d been together 10 yrs and had DC before we married. 25 yrs together now and wouldn’t change a thing. We were talking the other day about plans for the future and I actually told him that before I met him had I been told how my life would unfold I would be ecstatic. There were some very hard times and things happened I wasn’t sure I’d survive but with DH and my DC now and our life together its like I’ve won the life lottery.

amusedbush Tue 09-Jan-18 09:20:29

No. I love the bones of him and I have no plans to leave, but I wouldn't choose this life for myself if I could do it over.

CuriousaboutSamphire Tue 09-Jan-18 09:20:39

We've been together since Live Aid... and yes. Definitely. Despite the best efforts of our utterly mad families, I can't imagine life without him!

Kahlua4me Tue 09-Jan-18 09:21:03

Absolutely I would, my only regret is I didn’t meet and marry him sooner.
Kissed far to many frogs before finding my prince 😃😃

Allthewaves Tue 09-Jan-18 09:22:03

Hmm I'm not sure tbh. We married very young and it was awful first years of marriage and supporting ptsd husband. I love me life now. Dh has grown into a great man and I love my kids. Those early years marriage made me into a better more empathetic person but it was horrendous to live through.

WhooooAmI24601 Tue 09-Jan-18 09:22:05

Yes. Every day of the week and twice on Sunday. He's the kindest most selfless man I know. He's flawed and grumpy at times, but a happy marriage doesn't mean a perfect one.

George1983 Tue 09-Jan-18 09:22:24

No not at all. Partly because of him and partly because I think the whole wedding concept (for us two who are not religious and not very overt outgoing people) was just a waste of money which we could have used more sensibly. I wouldn’t be without our children but would definitely have left oh if we weren’t married

FartsMeanHearts Tue 09-Jan-18 09:23:01

100% yes

JenniferL90 Tue 09-Jan-18 09:23:14

I'd marry my husband even sooner! Since we've been married I've seen how he's even more wonderful than before we were married. (And we have 7 years togher pre-marriage and been married 7)

He's been my rock through miscarriages, is the most incredible father.

And gets better looking with age, while here I am.....getting old!

allthegoodusernameshavegone Tue 09-Jan-18 09:23:30

I’d do it again in a flash, exactly the same.

homtardy Tue 09-Jan-18 09:24:02

In a heartbeat

ginghamstarfish Tue 09-Jan-18 09:24:02

Yes but sooner!

BigSandyBalls2015 Tue 09-Jan-18 09:25:32

We've been married nearly 22 years and I love him enormously, but I think he's changed over the years. No doubt I have too.

He was incredibly laid back and 'go with the flow' when he was younger, now the stresses of kids/teens and running his own business have taken their toll and he's far more stressed and gets angry more easily.

If he had been like this at the beginning I wouldn't have been attracted to him, is the honest truth.

Although saying that I appreciate that he works exceptionally hard for his family and we have a good life, and it's because of this that he is stressed.

juddyrockingcloggs Tue 09-Jan-18 09:25:37

Absolutely! We got married very young and the way he's grown and become who is today is amazing! Don't get me wrong he eats on my tits quite often but I wouldn't have him any other way!

ThumbWitchesAbroad Tue 09-Jan-18 09:25:54

Don't know.
But if I didn't, I wouldn't have DSs, which is pretty unthinkable, so yes, probably.

If I'd never got pg by him, then probably no. I do still love him but things would have been much simpler for me if I hadn't married him.

Amoregentlemanlikemanner Tue 09-Jan-18 09:26:06

Yes

Rafflesway Tue 09-Jan-18 09:26:30

Absolutely! 39 years married and counting!!

Sadmum23 Tue 09-Jan-18 09:31:23

In a heartbeat - been married 30 years this year . Together 39 years . Which we had got together sooner.

FuckOffDailyMailFools Tue 09-Jan-18 09:31:56

he eats on my tits quite often

Aha! The REAL secret to a long and happy marriage grin!

BarbarianMum Tue 09-Jan-18 09:32:18

Yes but sooner (this would have involved me asking him out rather than acting interested but waiting).

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