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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you would re-marry your DP, knowing now what you didn't back then?

484 replies

constantchange · 09/01/2018 08:27

I thought this would make for an interesting thread.--

If you could go back to the year you married your husband/wife, would you still marry them, knowing everything you do about them now that you didn't back then?

OP posts:
itsonlysubterfuge · 09/01/2018 11:27

I would definately marry my DH, no questions.

However, I would maybe have another DC sooner. DD is 5 and desperate for a brother or sister to play with, especially as she's home educated. Still undecided about another child as DD is so amazing, I have no idea how another child would compare to her.

YearOfYouRemember · 09/01/2018 11:30

If it was earlier than the year I married him, If I'm 100% honest I am not sure I would for one particular reason and if my ex was still about probably would have gone back to him.
I love him but you know, life is tough.

Jappydooda · 09/01/2018 11:35

No, no, no, no, no, no!

He was a total arse! Best thing I ever did was divorce him.

Apparently, he is already onto wife number 4!

Peanutbuttercheese · 09/01/2018 11:40

Him yes times a million having to deal with his sister possibly no.

MelvinThePenguin · 09/01/2018 11:44

Yes! Absolutely no question about it.

I’m even pleased I stuck at the terrible 7 year relationship I had previously (we should have split at 4). If I hadn’t, the timing would have been wrong and I would never have met DH.

ExConstance · 09/01/2018 11:52

Yes, he was the right person but also at the right time - I might not have found him so attractive if I'd met him when I was a bit younger and looking for men who were mad bad and dangerous to know. I still find him kind, loving and deeply fanciable after 34 years.

morningconstitutional2017 · 09/01/2018 12:01

Yes, I most definitely would, even knowing that he would die in middle age. And if I could only have a magic wand I'd wave away his motor neurone disease so that it never happened. If I could go back to whatever moment this disease came about I'd like it to stop in its tracks and have it not happen.

LyraPotter · 09/01/2018 12:12

@morningconstitutional2017 I'm so sorry. One of my uni friends died from MND aged 31. It's a horrible, horrible thing. I'm glad you had happy years with your husband before then and wish you all the best x

sinceyouask · 09/01/2018 12:13

Yes, but we'd do a lot of things differently.

Sallystyle · 09/01/2018 12:15

I absolutely would.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 09/01/2018 12:16

No, he's a gambling addict and it ruined our lives.

NoWordForFluffy · 09/01/2018 12:17

I would. But I'd elope rather than having the wedding we had.

There were way too many issues surrounding our wedding that simply wouldn't have been there if we'd just buggered off somewhere!

Sallystyle · 09/01/2018 12:17

I wouldn't marry him sooner, simply because I learnt so much from my first marriage and I would not have been ready for him earlier on in my life. Plus, I wouldn't have my three boys from that marriage.

DearShirt · 09/01/2018 12:18

My ex - no of course not. If I'd have known what was going to happen I'd have left the day I found out I was pregnant. I wouldn't have told him I was pregnant and I'd have flown home to my own country.

Greensleeves · 09/01/2018 12:19

Yes, without hesitation. Met when we were 18 and now we're 40 with two teenagers. Wouldn't change anything about him.

PricillaQueenOfTheDesert · 09/01/2018 12:21

My current husband I would remarry every day, all day long. He is wonderful and although I can’t say “I wouldn’t change a thing about him” (please stop shuffling across our hardwood floors in your slippers) he really is the perfect man for me. Maybe I’m more appreciative of what a great husband he is because my first husband was a first class twat and a bully. (I wouldn’t remarry my exH, the only good thing about him was my lovely dd’s)

Runningoutofusernames · 09/01/2018 12:23

Nope. Love him dearly and am not looking to divorce but his chronic depression and anxiety have cast a huge shadow over the lives of the DC and I.

ShoutyMcShoutFace · 09/01/2018 12:26

Oh my god no. Absolutely not. Need to keep the kids though.

TSSDNCOP · 09/01/2018 12:30

I would. But I believe if you asked him he would say no.

Snowyjoey · 09/01/2018 12:32

Absolutely! He's my best friend, despite his faults Wink

silentpool · 09/01/2018 12:33

No. I would have walked away.

QuilliamCakespeare · 09/01/2018 12:33

Definitely. He's a gem.

Tiddlywinks63 · 09/01/2018 12:34

No, no way.

tobee · 09/01/2018 12:35

Just had our 6th anniversary. He arranged a great night out. Although he forgot it was our anniversary. Which fits with what we're like.

Been together 31 years this year. Which also fits what we're like.

I thought not being married but being together meant you were only there because you wanted to be and being married would be more difficult. But I would marry again but like the fact we did it the way we did.

Does that make sense?

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/01/2018 12:38

No. Never in a million years.

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