To ask if you would re-marry your DP, knowing now what you didn't back then?

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I thought this would make for an interesting thread.--

If you could go back to the year you married your husband/wife, would you still marry them, knowing everything you do about them now that you didn't back then?

No. I wouldn't be without the dcs though, and they are his, so that's a conundrum.

Actually rethinking this - I would want to be with dh but not married. I don't really like marriage!

No , no, no and no

Can I play? Not married, but engaged after ten years together.

To reverse it, I am glad I hadn't married him five years ago, but am happy to now!

The first four years of our relationship we were students/long distance. I'd say the first couple of years living together at least were weaning him (and myself) off the idiot-mode living style his parents raised him with - responsible for nothing, and to be fair on the poor sod, massively lacking in confidence in those areas as well.

Now we're both more or less functioning adults, and we communicate fantastically, as well as being best friends. So I said yes!

In a heart beat

No.

No. Then my dc's wouldn't exist and have had awful things happen to them.

Without a doubt. He makes everything in my life better. I just wish we'd met earlier.

Yes, yes, yes and YES!!! We aren't just a couple, but a family too.

No. I love him very much. But truth is other factors have made my life very difficult, his awful family, not being able to live where I want.. to name only a couple.
I could have had a much happier life with someone else.

Yes and no. His parents have really caused me so much pain, dh struggled to manage them even though he isn't fond of the them, with dc and situation I have been stuck.

I think it's important to get on with your in laws if.... You have no family back up of the your own if you have dc. It's made life quite miserable and it's sad because no issue with dh

I'm 50/50. Pre children was good, but having small children has been hard, and made me see how selfish he can be. That being said I love the DC to bits and would do it all again to have them. I'd probably just alter a few things.

Yes, I would. But there are lots of different decisions I'd make now realising I was often right but too indecisive to take the weight of a decision on my shoulders so I compromised. Mostly regarding where we live. And that's affected my job ans causes some resentment. I'm being assertive about our next move once children finish school. If I weren't married to my DH I'd probably be divorced. He's very easy going and we have the same sense of humour so laugh most days. I wouldn't look for someone else if anything happened to him.

No - found out years too late that he wasn't the person I thought he was. He admitted that basically he had lied and told me what I wanted to hear during our "whirlwind romance" and managed to keep up the pretence for a long time. I was a naive young idiot and he was a much older man who I hero-worshipped. Now been together 20 years and am stuck in the rut of "bad but not bad enough" and don't want to put my DCs through a family break-up while they are in critical exam years. I have ended up married to a selfish lazy old man with whom I have very very little in common and no physical relationship to speak of. Not quite what I envisaged for myself! Wouldn't be without my DCs though so I suppose you can't have everything.

Without a shadow of a doubt! Married 8 years, lived together 11.5 years. Just wish with all my heart for DS1’s sake he was DS1’s biological father too but know DS1 wouldn’t be DS1 without his own genetics! DH loves our 3 kids absolutely equally and is incredible and I am so lucky to have him.

Yes, without question. I honestly think he was made just for me and I love the bones of him. He makes me grateful for every bad decision and stupid mistake I made when I was younger, because if anything had been different I might never have met him.

Definitely

Without any doubt or hesitation.

No, and that's why I'm in the process of divorcing him now and he should be moving out in a month or so!!! happy dance

I made a huge mistake in my choice of partner but I'm not sure I'd ever want to remarry even if I found a better partner. Freedom and independence for me now, thank you.

Categorically and emphatically no. No no no no no.
It was a horrible experience, with a whole lot of bad fortune thrown in.

He was an abusive arsehole and I'm wounded as all hell right now.

Somehow it will all be ok.

Lovely to read about the reasons for love and happiness. It's very reassuring..

Without any hesitation. The only thing I'd change (and he has said the same) is that we'd do it sooner.

Not sure.

Over thirty years married but the last seven years have been a rollercoaster I could never have envisaged.

Together for years and not married and probably never will - but I'm here for the long haul and I'm glad I'm with him.

Wish I'd laid down a fairer division of labour when we first had DC and me being on maternity leave though. He really wanted a little 'wifey', which is not my style at all. If he spoke and acted that way now I would have left with DS and not looked back.

Yes definitely. Trying to think of things I would have liked to have done differently eg meeting dh sooner or having the dc at different times but can't think of any except I wish I hadn't eaten for 2 when I was pregnant as I'm really struggling to lose it now.

What a nice positive thread! Makes such a change from the threads where people's DHs are are being aresholes.