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Unappreciative and rather cheeky

(182 Posts)
Lucey33 Sun 05-Nov-17 08:06:41

As Christmas is fast approaching I thought I'd call my sister in law to ask her if there was anything in particular my six year old neice wanted. I don't really like asking people what they want as I like to surprise them but my Sil is a bit weird and obsessive when it comes to Christmas and she will go round telling each family member specifically what she wants.

Anyway, she sent me a link to a present my neice wants. It was one of those fur real dog things. So I ordered it and went to collect it and the woman who served me said that they didn't have the exact one I'd ordered. The dog was the same except my Sil said to get the black one and the store only had the white in stock. I didn't think this would be a problem as like I said it was the same dog just a different colour. So I messaged my Sil to tell her and she messaged me back saying she didn't like this particular one. I explained the black one was out of stock at the store I was at and also out of stock everywhere else. I explained that the the features were exactly the same and just the colour was different and she said she's not giving It to my neice and I should take it back and get something else or give her the receipt and she will swap it when the one she wants comes back into stock.

Aibu to think this is really cheeky? My husband has gone mad saying I've bought her a lovely gift and our neice will be made up. I would never dream of telling someone I don't like your gift and I'm taking it back. Don't get me wrong i know our kids do end up with some tat they don't like quite as much as their other gifts and us adults too at times but that's life, but the gift I bought was £40 which is a lot for me to spend considering I have ten nieces and nephews. My husband is adamant we are not giving his sister the receipt so she can swap it and we will just give it to our neice on the day. I know she'll be happy. I reallt don't know what Sil's problem is and think she's being a spoiled selfish madam.

OP’s posts: |
Ilovelampandchair Sun 05-Nov-17 08:10:31

Kids can be pretty black and white (excuse the pun) and maybe she knows the reaction will be not good compared to amazing if it was the right one. SIL is probably just trying to be honest and avoid an upset 6 yr old.

I would only have said that to my own sister to be honest but would have sighed at the lack of understanding how inflexible kids can sometimes be to get the right thing in the wrong colour (ungreatful wretches!).

MamaOfTwos Sun 05-Nov-17 08:12:09

'Do you know what, I won't bother this year as there's no appreciation for what I've bought her, and there never is. Have a nice xmas'

jelliebelly Sun 05-Nov-17 08:13:36

Do you have kids of your own? At 6 the wrong colour anything can be the difference between loving something and being massively disappointed - maybe sil is trying to avoid the latter?

Bluntness100 Sun 05-Nov-17 08:14:18

Gosh, your husband sounds a right drama llama. Is there a back story here?

If the sister says the kid doesn’t like the white one, I’d assume that the kid told her that and she doesn’t want her to be disappointed on xmas day. Assuming you know the child better than her own mother and that you will refuse to give the receipt over so the kid has to keep it is rather arrogant and petty.

Why bother asking, Do you have kids of your own? I’d immediagely have texted her and said “they only have the white one, is this ok or shall I get something else”. Or I wouldn’t have asked in the first place. The mother specified a colour for a reason, and she’s explained to you the child doesn’t like the white one. I’m unsure what you have your arse in your hands about.

Sarahjconnor Sun 05-Nov-17 08:14:24

return it and give her a voucher and never ask again!

DanicaJones Sun 05-Nov-17 08:14:37

Is she thinking a black one won't show the dirt whereas a white one will get grubby looking quite quickly? I agree she does seem a bit ungrateful though

DanicaJones Sun 05-Nov-17 08:15:25

Gift voucher good idea

Inertia Sun 05-Nov-17 08:18:39

I'd return it and get something completely different, then let SIL know so that she can get the exact one.

Starlighter Sun 05-Nov-17 08:18:50

I don’t know... kids can be pretty particular about stuff like this. I’m not sure it’s ungrateful, she just knows her daughter. This little girl could’ve been wishing for this black dog for months.

She’s family, surely she can be honest with you about things like this? I wouldn’t bat an eyelid about this. But my sil and are very close and both have very similar little girls who would definitely request a particular colour/style. I don’t think it’s spoilt madam behaviour, just personal preference...

DueOct30th Sun 05-Nov-17 08:19:50

WHAT I can't believe people here are asking the OP if she has kids and "ahhh that's just what six year olds are like" etc etc. I have a 6 year old OP if someone bought her a £40 xmas present and she said she didn't like it because it was the wrong colour she would be in serious trouble for being ungrateful and she knows it!

Your SIL is a wanker - just give your niece the dog and she'll love it. Get SIL a lump of coal 😉

Humpsfor20yards Sun 05-Nov-17 08:20:19

Blimey, I thought most kids just got what the giver decided to get them.
My mistake!

hippyhippyshake Sun 05-Nov-17 08:21:24

Please please don't give the wrong colour! Sometimes it's the colour that's the most important thing. Imagine lusting after a beautiful white coat and your dp buys you a black one, because it's exactly the same only a different colour. You'd return it immediately! Your niece's face on Christmas Day will be one of disappointment. I speak from experience. 😱
If I was you though with all those nieces and nephews I would set a limit of £15 each, £40 each is a lot of money.

XmasFairy86 Sun 05-Nov-17 08:21:26

I’d return it and buy a keyboard. Or drums.

Humpsfor20yards Sun 05-Nov-17 08:22:21

Or a recorder.

Lucey33 Sun 05-Nov-17 08:22:48

My Dh is the most laid back person I know. We do have children. A dd who's 7 and a dd who's 9. They go through stages of wanting certain things and sometimes I've not been able to get the exact same thing i.e. Last year my 9 year old wanted a Hatchimal. The one she wanted I think was green but as they were selling out fast I could only get her a pink one. She was absolutely made up and was just happy that she'd got one and didn't care about the colour. I'm all for making Christmas magical for children but my Sil goes way to far every year, has panic attacks if she can't get everything on my neices list and stresses everyone out. There's just no need for it.

OP’s posts: |
Bluntness100 Sun 05-Nov-17 08:23:25

In my experience also kids can be very particular, so yes this little girl could have been wanting the black one for ages and saying she doesn’t like the white one.

Sure in some houses kids get what they are given and are told to like to or there will be hell to pay. However that wasn’t how it worked in my home, I tended to ask her what she wanted, or had her write a letter to Santa so I could see.

sooperdooper Sun 05-Nov-17 08:23:57

SIL sounds very spoilt & demanding, no wonder your niece is predicted to kick off over the colour of a toy - what happened to teaching kids to be grateful for whatever they receive?

I'd take the dog back, and either get something you want or nothing at all

I also wouldn't pander to SIL demanding specific presents going forwards, she sounds hard work

Lucey33 Sun 05-Nov-17 08:24:16

My Sil didn't say my neice didn't like the white one. She said she didn't like the white one.

OP’s posts: |
sooperdooper Sun 05-Nov-17 08:25:19

Sure in some houses kids get what they are given and are told to like to or there will be hell to pay

Not that there'll be hell to pay confused just that you should be appreciative of all gifts, that's a very good lesson to learn

Humpsfor20yards Sun 05-Nov-17 08:25:23

I don't tell my kids to like things or there will be hell to pay!

Lucey33 Sun 05-Nov-17 08:25:40

I understand that kids get excited about a certain toy but if it's that important why didn't she just buy it herself and then tell me to buy something else.

OP’s posts: |
sooperdooper Sun 05-Nov-17 08:26:19

My Sil didn't say my neice didn't like the white one. She said she didn't like the white one

Well it's not a present for SIL, give her the white one

Lucey33 Sun 05-Nov-17 08:28:07

My niece is a lovely kid and despite my Sil seriously over indulging her every year she is the most kind appreciative kid there is. I know she will like her present otherwise I wouldn't have bought it. This is why I'm annoyed with Sil as it's her who has the problem with what I've bought.

OP’s posts: |
Bluntness100 Sun 05-Nov-17 08:28:33

My Dh is the most laid back person I know

But hes not laid back about this is he, my husband, to put it into context, would just hand over the receipt and not make a big drama over it, neither of us wouldld give it second thought. Your husband has apparantly “ gone mad” over something as ridiculous as a kid wanting a black dog and not a white one.

Either you don’t know what laid back is, or this is unusual behavuour for him, as this is as uptight and over the top as it gets. Why would he even give a shit if it’s swapped for a black one?

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