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AIBU?

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Original poster

Unappreciative and rather cheeky

181 replies

Lucey33 · 05/11/2017 08:06

As Christmas is fast approaching I thought I'd call my sister in law to ask her if there was anything in particular my six year old neice wanted. I don't really like asking people what they want as I like to surprise them but my Sil is a bit weird and obsessive when it comes to Christmas and she will go round telling each family member specifically what she wants.

Anyway, she sent me a link to a present my neice wants. It was one of those fur real dog things. So I ordered it and went to collect it and the woman who served me said that they didn't have the exact one I'd ordered. The dog was the same except my Sil said to get the black one and the store only had the white in stock. I didn't think this would be a problem as like I said it was the same dog just a different colour. So I messaged my Sil to tell her and she messaged me back saying she didn't like this particular one. I explained the black one was out of stock at the store I was at and also out of stock everywhere else. I explained that the the features were exactly the same and just the colour was different and she said she's not giving It to my neice and I should take it back and get something else or give her the receipt and she will swap it when the one she wants comes back into stock.

Aibu to think this is really cheeky? My husband has gone mad saying I've bought her a lovely gift and our neice will be made up. I would never dream of telling someone I don't like your gift and I'm taking it back. Don't get me wrong i know our kids do end up with some tat they don't like quite as much as their other gifts and us adults too at times but that's life, but the gift I bought was £40 which is a lot for me to spend considering I have ten nieces and nephews. My husband is adamant we are not giving his sister the receipt so she can swap it and we will just give it to our neice on the day. I know she'll be happy. I reallt don't know what Sil's problem is and think she's being a spoiled selfish madam.

OP posts:
JellyBabiesSaveLives · 05/11/2017 10:09

I don't understand why you're so set on buying your niece a present that she doesn't want? Don't you like her?

I don't think its helpful to teach children that they must be "grateful" for everything that anyone buys them. Teach them to smile and say thank you, yes. Teach them that it's important to put thought into presents and be grateful for other people's thought and effort, yes.

But you've put neither thought nor effort into this and actively want your niece to have a present that she wouldn't choose herself. Why should anyone have to be grateful for that?

I expect both SIL and niece would be very grateful for a voucher. Fewer dramatics.

When people start stropping and saying "well I won't buy you anything" you can bet the person on the receiving end is thinking "oh good, that's a relief".

gamerchick · 05/11/2017 10:09

Take the toy back, give your bloke the money you paid for it and tell him he’s in charge of present buying for that part of the family from now on.

Sorted.

TheDuchessOfKidderminster · 05/11/2017 10:12

I’m curious, could anyone link to the black and white one of these things? I’ve seen the white fluffy one that they have in Argos (for £15 or so) but can’t see a B&W one on sale anywhere. TBH I can see why the SIL doesn’t like the white one as it is pretty hideous if I’m looking at the right things (Furreal dogs).

bufin · 05/11/2017 10:16

Where's that screenshot OP?

Appuskidu · 05/11/2017 10:16

The dog was the same except my Sil said to get the black one and the store only had the white in stock.

So, is that not true then? Or did you forget what she said to get? Did you make it up?

Odd post to eat my breakfast to!

Aeroflotgirl · 05/11/2017 10:16

My dd 10 who has ASD can be like this, and it can really cause a meltdown if its the wrong colour. If you can't find the black one, just give them money instead or a gift card.

Pengggwn · 05/11/2017 10:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lethaldrizzle · 05/11/2017 10:20

Jeez I can't beiieve the op is getting any grief at all.

larrygrylls · 05/11/2017 10:22

Bufin,

'Where's that screenshot OP?'

Have you fantasies about being a barrister, aggressively cross examining the OP in Crown Court?!

Let OP post what she wants. If you don't believe here, just leave or report the thread.

swg1 · 05/11/2017 10:30

Here's the thing though: buying someone something that is ALMOST exactly what they wanted, but not quite actually the same actually blocks them from buying themselves the thing they actually wanted without looking rude.

Like, a few years ago I wanted a travel cup for my tea. I knew exactly the one I wanted, because I'd owned one before but managed to leave it on the train. It wasn't particularly expensive (about £4) or hard to get hold of but the plastic managed to keep the heat in better than anything I'd tried and was also just a pleasant texture against my mouth. I explained this. I spelt out reasons. I showed my family the cup.

I got.. a more expensive china one which is heavier, more breakable and doesn't hold heat in half as well. And then had to hold off from buying a new one of the type I liked for several months because I felt I had to use the blasted thing or look ungrateful.

Niece doesn't get any dog? Well, she can always save up or use her Christmas money to get the one she wanted. Niece got the white one and wanted the black? Well, NOW doing that looks wasteful and rude...

bufin · 05/11/2017 10:34

Well I can't be the only one who would like to see the screenshot. Grin

Appuskidu · 05/11/2017 10:35

I have just messaged my Sil asking if she still wants to swap it and will my neice really not like the white one. She replied that my niece would like it but she doesn't.

It doesn't seem to be about what the niece likes/not likes at all though.

Gemini69 · 05/11/2017 10:53

this is beyond embarrassing.. your SIL sounds hideous... Id give git vouchers in future... Flowers

Gemini69 · 05/11/2017 10:53

gift

Appuskidu · 05/11/2017 10:59

Would your normally spend that much on nieces and nephews? I only ask as we don't!

I might return the dog (out of irritation at your SIL being so annoying) and say that was over my budget anyway and ask for a suggestion for around £15.

What sort if things does she get your kids? Does she ask you for specific ideas ?

bufin · 05/11/2017 11:03

The OP spent £40 when they cost a tenner in Argos on a 3 for 2 offer.

No wonder she's hanging on to the receipt.

buckeejit · 05/11/2017 11:17

I hate asking what does little billy want-I just don't do it anymore & I feel uncomfortable people asking me what my dc want. They are grateful for any gifts & don't need much.

The worst scenario is sending someone on a wild goose chase for a gift-dd wants a fingerling this year & have been OOS all round here & online, it's been a bit of a pain to get but I knew that so got it myself rather than putting a family member through the stress.

I would give her the receipt if she wants to run around changing things-hope ypu didn't get in the Argod 3 for 2 or there will be further complications!

Appuskidu · 05/11/2017 11:24

The OP spent £40 when they cost a tenner in Argos on a 3 for 2 offer.

Oh! Is that true, OP?!

kittensinmydinner1 · 05/11/2017 11:33

There is no dilemma to this. There is simply right or wrong.
You receive a gift and say thank you.!

If you show anything other than gratitude and thankfulness your parents have failed in teaching basic manners and the blame for any subsequent entitled behaviour lies squarely at their feet. End of.

Appuskidu · 05/11/2017 11:35

Which dog is it, OP?

Xeneth88 · 05/11/2017 11:41

The black ones are in stock in Argos soooo guess you're just being a brat OP and trying to "teach your sil a lesson" and using your husbands neice as a way to do it. Nice.

deadringer · 05/11/2017 11:45

My dd wants the fur real puppy for Xmas too. She wants a particular colour and would be disappointed if she got the wrong one, it does make a difference, they have different names and features. But, i think your sil is being a cheeky bitch, she sounds quite sneery and demanding. Also it's only early November so you have loads of time to get the toy or change it for the correct colour so I think you are over reacting a bit too.

Xeneth88 · 05/11/2017 11:50

And we paid £14.99 in the 3 for 2. So you've been mugged off as they're not £40.

Witchend · 05/11/2017 11:55

Here's the thing though: buying someone something that is ALMOST exactly what they wanted, but not quite actually the same actually blocks them from buying themselves the thing they actually wanted without looking rude.

That's totally how I'd feel. Sometimes we say "I'd like that" and we don't mind what type/colour etc it was.
Sometimes there is a reason-rational or irrational that means that we want a specific one. If we are asked it isn't rude to say that we want a specific one. What would be rude is if she opened it and shouted "stupid aunty that's the wrong colour" but by the sound of it, she will be totally polite-but possibly disappointed inside.

My parents would always get the cheaper version of something. The disappointment I felt when I opened something to find it wasn't quite what I hoped for was entirely due to me knowing that there was absolutely no hope of me ever having the one I really wanted. I really and truly would have rather not had a present at all and still had the hope that I might get it some time in the future.

ToadTheVampireThreadKiller · 05/11/2017 12:01

Just explain that the fur is from a dog that was killed in another country so that the fur could be used for stupid toys and that you have decided not to support such an evil trade. (Same as the so called fake fur on the bobble hats everyone was wearing last year, it is from dogs in China).

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