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How to get out of something that I didnt agree to?

(1000 Posts)
KungFuPandaWorksOut16 Wed 18-Oct-17 15:59:43

I am very close friends with a group of 5 ladies, known each other since high school.
We all have children ranging from the ages of 1-6.

Friend 1s child started reception this year and has joined the PTA aswell. Friend 2 & 3 already have children at this school. Friend 1 is the only one on the PTA.

Friend 2 has just text me, saying she didnt know I was offering a prize at the christmas fair.

Me: What?
F2: One of the raffle prizes is a colour & cut at KungFus Salon.
Me : Must be an error and mean another salon.

Cue a whatsapp message of friend 3, with a screenshot of the flyer and the message "kept this quiet. Its lovely of you though"

In the flyer it mentions how the school will be grateful for donations etc etc, raffle tickets go on sale after the school holidays for X price. It then goes on to give a "sneak peek" for some prizes up for grabs and sure enough their is my bloody salon 3rd on the list offering a colour and cut.

Text F1 did she sign me up. Yes she did, that was her contribution (?!)
I asked F1 will she be paying for the voucher. She has responded No, she wont be because its for a good cause and the rest of the community has donated bits and bobs.

Now Im stuck.
I didnt agree to any of this and now leaflets have been given out advertising my salon donating one of the prizes.
All the money goes to the school so it is a good cause, but i just see it as my child doesn't attend that school or any school for that matter. This "donation" will leave me anywhere from £30-£45 out of pocket.

Would i look horrendous ringing the school up and explaining what has happened or shall I suck it up and just do it.

Witsender Wed 18-Oct-17 16:02:11

I would tell F1 in no uncertain terms that you will be explaining to the school what she has done unless she sorts it...either by reimbursing or cancelling it.

Or, she needs to persuade you and apologise suitably until you are happy! Cheeky fucker.

Ttbb Wed 18-Oct-17 16:02:49

Tell her to either pay for it or that you won't do it.

frenchfancy17 Wed 18-Oct-17 16:03:46

I'd personally ring the school and explain that you've been signed up for it without you agreeing.

How much of a "friend" is this person?
You may lose her after this...

Nicknacky Wed 18-Oct-17 16:04:46

Cheeky mare. No way would I allow it to continue, call the school and tell them.

SouthWindsWesterly Wed 18-Oct-17 16:05:31

The bloody neck on her. Nope - you need to tell her either she pays for it or you’ll be asking the School for the money. You have her texts as proof. She’ll lose face as the PTA lady and you'll probably thankfully lose the relationship. This is not on and the school will not look well on this.

Mulberry72 Wed 18-Oct-17 16:05:44

You have yourself a CF right there, OP!

I would be livid that she was so presumptous! Tell her she either pays for the voucher or you’ll speak to School!

She’ll learn not to be so generous with other people’s time/money!

PuppyMonkey Wed 18-Oct-17 16:06:42

Text CF friend: "Sorry no can do."

Think it's the chair of PTA you might have to approach to remove yourself from the advertising bumph. Yikes, nightmare.

Ceto Wed 18-Oct-17 16:07:13

Point out to F1 that she can't claim that it's her contribution unless she's paying for it, and say that unless she does you will ensure that the school and everyone in the PTA knows the score.

HughLauriesStubble Wed 18-Oct-17 16:07:31

What a cheeky bitch! I wouldn't ring the school, I'd just tell the friend that in no uncertain terms will you be doing it for free, and that she can either pay for it herself or suck it up and explain the situation to the pta.

Does joining the pta give people such an ego boost that they think they can pull cheeky shit like this??

TinklyLittleLaugh Wed 18-Oct-17 16:07:38

Just ring her and say you don't want to be £45 out of pocket. Either she pays or you don't do it.

Ninabean17 Wed 18-Oct-17 16:07:45

Ring the school ASAP and explain you have no part in this, you didnt offer this as a prize and then tell your 'friend' how fucking cheeky she's been

zzzzz Wed 18-Oct-17 16:08:00

Phone the school and say you’ve seen the flyer but your salon hasn’t been approached to donate anything and a £45 donation is WAY beyond what you can afford.

Don’t mention the friend, don’t offer a solution.

livefornaps Wed 18-Oct-17 16:08:47

Speechless. Tell her one more time that she had no right to agree to anything on your behalf and otherwise ring the school.

TinklyLittleLaugh Wed 18-Oct-17 16:09:04

You need to be quick too, before they put it on the tickets.

KnockMeDown Wed 18-Oct-17 16:09:26

Your friend is outrageous! How can she say it's her contribution, when it's your salon, and she is not even offering to pay! I would be having very strong words with her. If she thinks it's such a good cause, she can pay for it. This is what the MN phrase Cheeky Fucker was made for.

puddingpen Wed 18-Oct-17 16:09:58

This is very awkward as flyers have already been sent out. I would be worried about bad publicity for your salon if it has to be withdrawn. I think in your position I would do the free cut and colour but make it clear you to your friend you are only doing it because you are worried about negative publicity and tell her in no uncertain terms that she must never pull anything like this again.

Namechangetempissue Wed 18-Oct-17 16:10:53

Oooo CF indeed!!
I would call the school and explain exactly what has happened. If you feel you would like to offer a prize, do it in your own name, don't let your CF take the credit! I would also let her know you are pissed off about it and that it was presumptuous and rude of her to be so generous with your time and money. Then steer well clear in the future.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira Wed 18-Oct-17 16:11:06

It really depends. I think you'll look tight to the school if it's worth is £40 (although I wouldn't agree) and would it affect your business if you're local?

I reckon you need to have serious words with your 'friend' and say she had no right to offer your salon as a prize, if she is donating then SHE is donating and you expect her to pay for it. You're a business. Would she have donated something if you worked for Tesco?

Of course I'm assuming you haven't already torn a strip off her. Is she normally so fuxking dense?

CherieBabySpliffUp Wed 18-Oct-17 16:11:08

I would go with zzzzz suggestion

TefalTester123 Wed 18-Oct-17 16:11:20

Sometimes schools just offer cash as a prize. In this case they’ll have to use raffle procedds to pay you for the prize OR prehaps funds pay for half the prize if you are feeling generous or friend pays up.

ChocolateButton15 Wed 18-Oct-17 16:11:33

Tell her if she's not paying you will tell the school that you never agreed to it. If you let it go she will do this every time a raffle comes up!

Greyponcho Wed 18-Oct-17 16:12:25

Yikes!
Don’t let the CF try to convince you it’s “free advertising” and will rake in £100’s for you.
She should be paying for the voucher - perhaps she should have approached you first to ask for a discount, but to go giving away your time and materials for free without consulting you first is brass neck of the highest order

Danceswithwarthogs Wed 18-Oct-17 16:12:32

She needs to at least cover your costs, otherwise you've effectively donated £40+ to the school (notwithstanding the profit you could have made if a paying client used that time) if she wants to appear generous, then she should foot the costs (and apologise to you in spades).... The only other consideration is whether you would like the advertising.... But she still shouldn't have assumed!!

TheKitchenWitch Wed 18-Oct-17 16:12:54

Well, it's clearly not ok, and you do have to tell her that (she probably got a bit over-enthusiastic as a new PTA member), but personally I'd still do it. You could talk to her about covering the costs though.

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