How to get out of something that I didnt agree to?

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

I am very close friends with a group of 5 ladies, known each other since high school.
We all have children ranging from the ages of 1-6.

Friend 1s child started reception this year and has joined the PTA aswell. Friend 2 & 3 already have children at this school. Friend 1 is the only one on the PTA.

Friend 2 has just text me, saying she didnt know I was offering a prize at the christmas fair.

Me: What?
F2: One of the raffle prizes is a colour & cut at KungFus Salon.
Me : Must be an error and mean another salon.

Cue a whatsapp message of friend 3, with a screenshot of the flyer and the message "kept this quiet. Its lovely of you though"

In the flyer it mentions how the school will be grateful for donations etc etc, raffle tickets go on sale after the school holidays for X price. It then goes on to give a "sneak peek" for some prizes up for grabs and sure enough their is my bloody salon 3rd on the list offering a colour and cut.

Text F1 did she sign me up. Yes she did, that was her contribution (?!)
I asked F1 will she be paying for the voucher. She has responded No, she wont be because its for a good cause and the rest of the community has donated bits and bobs.

Now Im stuck.
I didnt agree to any of this and now leaflets have been given out advertising my salon donating one of the prizes.
All the money goes to the school so it is a good cause, but i just see it as my child doesn't attend that school or any school for that matter. This "donation" will leave me anywhere from £30-£45 out of pocket.

Would i look horrendous ringing the school up and explaining what has happened or shall I suck it up and just do it.

You can't let her away with it!

since it's her contribution she can fucking pay. this cf isn't your friend, and she's blown it big time.

I think usually the prize would be given in an envelope, with a voucher from the business. If she doesn't return your calls/texts you could just sit tight. You haven't provided a voucher or agreed to. She can come in and buy one.

What zzzzz said

Outrageous!!

I would email head, F1 & head of pta & explain that you were never approached for this are furious & would not have agreed if asked. Pulling out now may lead to to adverse effects on your business so sadly for them, your costs are going to have to be covered either from the proceeds of the raffle or by F1 who has told you that this is her contribution.

Go for the nuclear option OP!!

Are you sure she wasn't offering to cover the cost, and that's her contribution?

I'm going against the grain here but I would donate the prize. I would say something like "I am really upset about this. I would almost certainly have donated if you'd asked me but by volunteering me to do colour, rather than a blow dry or up-do, you have cost me a fair bit of money. It was not the right thing to do and you have put me in a difficult position. I value your friendship and I don't want to embarrass you so I will do it but you need to know that I am very upset about it. I feel taken for granted."

You have every right to be upset but it's probably not worth losing a friend over - although, if she's a decent person, she should apologise profusely and should really offer to pay you. If she doesn't, she's a pretty lousy friend,.

She isn't answering her phone, she isn't going to pay, she is a CF, and needs pulling up on it.
I'm with @zzzzz, ring the school and nip this in the bud.
You are a hairdresser for a reason, to earn a living, £50.00 , for a school your child does not attend, is a joke !

You do need to contact the school - just to ensure she never does this again. It wouldn't be so bad if she offered to pay/contribute to the cost.
But this is just cheeky.

BTW your prices seem quite reasonable to me :)

" it's probably not worth losing a friend over"

What friend?

She's no friend to the Op!

I would take this from nocabbageinmyeye:

F1 I am beyond angry with you, I'm not sure who you think you are but be very clear on this - you do NOT now or ever decide what I will or will not donate to ANY cause and you most certainly not take my donation as your contribution

and add this:

You have two choices: you can pay me £X, upfront, to cover the cost to me of your contribution or you can contact the school and advise you will making a different contribution and they need to take my details of any further advertising. If I dont hear from you and/or receive the money within 7 days I will contact the school myself.

Ooh terriers has a good point. Whenever I've been involved in this stuff, the committee member who has recruited the prize has to go and get the voucher so that it can be presented on the day. Sitting tight and waiting to see what she does about that is quite a funny idea. If someone else from the PTA comes to the salon to collect it, you could just say that you haven't agreed to donate the prize so friend must be planning to come & purchase a voucher as her contribution.

You wouldn't be losing a friend, she isn't one, friends don't shit on each other !

Actually does anyone really pay attention to every prize on something like that?
I might take a glance, but unless ti was something I was particularly keen on would never notice it being quietly withdrawn. I'd ask to withdraw it, but not to make a fuss about it.
If anyone asks afterwards, just say it was a mistake.

Your "friend" has clearly shown you how much she values you and how much she respects your work.

In a way i can afford it but in a way no.
Its right near christmas, one of the busiest times for me. So to fit in the person who wins I cant fit in an actual paying customer.

Ive asked F2 & F3 to try and get some answers from F1 seeing as shes still ignoring me!!

Do you think the school would think I'm an arse for pulling out?

Do you think the school would think I'm an arse for pulling out?

You aren't pulling out. You are correcting an error. You can't pull out of something you were not in in the first place.

No, I think the school would be mortified you were even put in this position

No I dont think they will - I think they will probably be shocked and apologetic. Well, hopefully anyway!

Cant believe the cheek of some people!

They can't think you're an arse. You're not opting out. You never opted in!

The winner will need a voucher from your salon.

Somebody from the PTA has to come in to pick that up from you - more than likely it will be her since she arranged it. So she has to pay or leave empty handed.

Text F1 did she sign me up. Yes she did, that was her contribution

Just tell her that she hasn't contributed anything and she should as it's her kids school and it's not your job to contribute for her

No, I doubt very much the school would think that you're an arse, but I think they'd think your friend isn't really suitable to be on the PTA if she pulls stunts like this. I honestly don't think any of this reflects badly on you, OP.