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Original poster

How to get out of something that I didnt agree to?

999 replies

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 18/10/2017 15:59

I am very close friends with a group of 5 ladies, known each other since high school.
We all have children ranging from the ages of 1-6.

Friend 1s child started reception this year and has joined the PTA aswell. Friend 2 & 3 already have children at this school. Friend 1 is the only one on the PTA.

Friend 2 has just text me, saying she didnt know I was offering a prize at the christmas fair.

Me: What?
F2: One of the raffle prizes is a colour & cut at KungFus Salon.
Me : Must be an error and mean another salon.

Cue a whatsapp message of friend 3, with a screenshot of the flyer and the message "kept this quiet. Its lovely of you though"

In the flyer it mentions how the school will be grateful for donations etc etc, raffle tickets go on sale after the school holidays for X price. It then goes on to give a "sneak peek" for some prizes up for grabs and sure enough their is my bloody salon 3rd on the list offering a colour and cut.

Text F1 did she sign me up. Yes she did, that was her contribution (?!)
I asked F1 will she be paying for the voucher. She has responded No, she wont be because its for a good cause and the rest of the community has donated bits and bobs.

Now Im stuck.
I didnt agree to any of this and now leaflets have been given out advertising my salon donating one of the prizes.
All the money goes to the school so it is a good cause, but i just see it as my child doesn't attend that school or any school for that matter. This "donation" will leave me anywhere from £30-£45 out of pocket.

Would i look horrendous ringing the school up and explaining what has happened or shall I suck it up and just do it.

OP posts:
FrancisCrawford · 18/10/2017 17:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chickenowner · 18/10/2017 17:35

That's appalling!!

I agree with PPs, contact the school and explain what has happened.

Original poster
KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 18/10/2017 17:36

I sent a text along the lines of what SDTG said.

She has responded to F3 that she didnt think I would mind in helping her out. I help others out (yeah, i do. Because they normally bloody ask first!) She wanted to make a good impression with the other PTA mums, and now im going too make her look a fool if i dont follow through/ring the school.

OP posts:
InspMorse · 18/10/2017 17:37

Wow Hmm

I would do two things.

  1. Text friends 2 & 3 and tell them that friend 1 signed you up without your knowledge and that their messages were the first you'd heard of it. Say that she's put you in a difficult situation & are thinking about what to do about it.

  2. Phone the school & tell them exactly the same but add that under the circumstances, as a gesture of goodwill, you may be able to offer a junior stylist cut/blow dry voucher which would be valid after XMAS. Please could the schøol change the flyer accordingly?

Nicknacky · 18/10/2017 17:37

So what are you going to do?

BirdInTheRoom · 18/10/2017 17:38

Why don't you do it, but make it a voucher only valid for non busy times. So for appointments between January up to the end of April, on a Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday?

AlternativeTentacle · 18/10/2017 17:38

im going too make her look a fool if i dont follow through/ring the school.

Well that's fine if she pays the cost of the treatment. No problem.

teaandtoast · 18/10/2017 17:38

Better a fool than a thief. She wasn't going to pay, was she?

YouTheCat · 18/10/2017 17:39

She is a fool and has done this to herself.

InspMorse · 18/10/2017 17:39

Oh xpost OP!

Text your friend 1 and tell her that you are 'disappointed' that she didn't ask first but as a gesture of goodwill... (insert what you are prepared to do, if anything).
CF

RiversrunWoodville · 18/10/2017 17:40

If that's her stance she needs to pay then it actually will be her contribution and you are still helping out!

TidyDancer · 18/10/2017 17:40

I could maybe conceive of her mentioning it to the school as a possibility as she has a friend with a salon, but no way could she have reasonably let it get this far and not have said a word to you. The only way out of this for her is to pay for the voucher herself. If she doesn’t she’s going to look an arse in front of the school and a twat to her friends. Hopefully she’ll learn a lesson from this.

strongasmeringue · 18/10/2017 17:40

Not your problem she tried to show off. All pathetic really.

fairypuff · 18/10/2017 17:40

Seconding others advice to contact the school directly as I wouldn't trust this CF to not put the blame on you to save face and therefore have a negative effect on your business. Absolutely stunned that she would do this in the first place!

ReallyNotHappy76 · 18/10/2017 17:41

The fact that she's still not taking responsibility and not even apologetic says everything OP. Phone the school and don't honour something you never offered

InspMorse · 18/10/2017 17:41

Also, if she doesn't want to 'lose face' she can pay up.
Maybe that will teach her not to give away other people's time & money!

AlternativeTentacle · 18/10/2017 17:42

I wonder if she was ever going to tell you. Did she get the other friend to do it on her behalf?

cheesypastatonight · 18/10/2017 17:44

She can save the whole situation if she just offers to pay you. Then you'll do it and the school don't even need to know. Have you offered this?

notquitegrownup2 · 18/10/2017 17:44

You could think about honouring it, if you want the PR, but providing a prize voucher which can be redeemed in 2018 (after Christmas) on a Tuesday or Thursday morning (or whatever are your quiet times) only?

I think if someone has won such a fabulous prize they should be prepared to work around you and not expect to use it at prime time.

Morphene · 18/10/2017 17:45

holy CF's!

That's extraordinary.

I think I would probably have taken the option of waiting for someone to come in and get a voucher then asking them to pay for it (given you had not agreed to any of this).

Willow2017 · 18/10/2017 17:45

Well if the cap fits?

She is a fool and a thief if you let her get away with it.

She had no right to say it was her contribution if shevisntbactually paying for it.
She had no right to offet £50 of someone else's hard earned money and take the credit for it.

In fact she is more than a fool she is sneaky, cowardly, underhand and trying to suck up to the pta with someone elses money.
God knows what else she is capable of.

nameusername · 18/10/2017 17:45

Well, she already made herself look like a fool before contacting you. Not only that, once confronted, she doesn't have the guts to explain herself to you directly, gone quiet and text another friend instead. Gutless glory taker.

The only way to make this right is for HER to fork out the FULL AMOUNT to you for the prize.

FrancisCrawford · 18/10/2017 17:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

martellandginger · 18/10/2017 17:48

Go straight to the head of the PTA and CC in the headmaster and explain that you didn't offer this prize and its been done behind your back and could they please remove you from the prize list and advertising. Don't go to friend.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 18/10/2017 17:49

No she will make herself look like a fool not you, and if it's such a good cause and she doesn't want to look a fool tell her to dig deep and pay you, cheeky bitch