How to get out of something that I didnt agree to?

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

I am very close friends with a group of 5 ladies, known each other since high school.
We all have children ranging from the ages of 1-6.

Friend 1s child started reception this year and has joined the PTA aswell. Friend 2 & 3 already have children at this school. Friend 1 is the only one on the PTA.

Friend 2 has just text me, saying she didnt know I was offering a prize at the christmas fair.

Me: What?
F2: One of the raffle prizes is a colour & cut at KungFus Salon.
Me : Must be an error and mean another salon.

Cue a whatsapp message of friend 3, with a screenshot of the flyer and the message "kept this quiet. Its lovely of you though"

In the flyer it mentions how the school will be grateful for donations etc etc, raffle tickets go on sale after the school holidays for X price. It then goes on to give a "sneak peek" for some prizes up for grabs and sure enough their is my bloody salon 3rd on the list offering a colour and cut.

Text F1 did she sign me up. Yes she did, that was her contribution (?!)
I asked F1 will she be paying for the voucher. She has responded No, she wont be because its for a good cause and the rest of the community has donated bits and bobs.

Now Im stuck.
I didnt agree to any of this and now leaflets have been given out advertising my salon donating one of the prizes.
All the money goes to the school so it is a good cause, but i just see it as my child doesn't attend that school or any school for that matter. This "donation" will leave me anywhere from £30-£45 out of pocket.

Would i look horrendous ringing the school up and explaining what has happened or shall I suck it up and just do it.

Even if you decide to honour it or not I would contact the school to let them know you were not even asked and this 'friend' offered your services free of charge without asking. If you don't let them know I suspect you will find you are volunteered everytime there is such an event.

If they've already been printed you have to tell F1 to pay, otherwise ask the PTA chair for an addendum to go out stating that 'Kingfu salon has NOT been approached or agreed to donate the prize and that regretfully it was not on offer. However as this is a good cause Kung fu salon is happy to donate a hair cut.'

I think you'll have to approach the head of the pta, they can sort it out with her. Cheeky mare.

Blimey , surely she can't be that stupid . I'd tell to pay now or I'd being telephoning the school

Err... how did the other friends find out? Was CF hoping that you would somehow just agree to it so as to avoid embarrassment, for them to guilt you into it for her by saying how kind you are?

I would tell the school and the PTA that (a) you were never asked, and (b) your 'friend' not only admitted it, but defended her behaviour, and (c) that you cannot afford it so they will have to pay you to cover the costs of the prize as removing the prize would potentially hurt your business unfairly, and of course they don't want that.

Your friend is shocking.

Don't do it. You've been conned into giving a prize you didn't agree to and if you let this go, you will get it again, with the "but you did it last time".
It doesn't matter it's on the flyers, that's their problem and not yours. It won't 'harm' your salon....only the person who did this. The amount doesn't matter, your time and services should not be donated by someone else who hasn't even asked.....

My hairdresser gives out 3wash and cuts at the school fete every year. He has no children and plans never to have any. He says it’s good advertising so although you’re annoyed, I’d probably suck it up tbh.

pudding thats what I am concerned about because its already been announced with a few other donations it would like look odd that the prize just disappears.

kitchenwitch I think she got caught up in the moment and wanted to offer something.

She now wont answer calls or text messages, so she knows shes messed up. It wouldnt have been as bad if it was like an updo or dry cut. But a colour and cut is a bit bloody much.

Greyponcho their kids are at the school and the school has put it out on a flyer!

Has anyone honestly ever visited a hairdresser/salon etc because one gave a prize to a school fete?

Doubt it encourages much business so don't be tempted to do it for that alone.

Tell the school ASAP that you hadn't offered this and that F1 took it upon herself to volunteer you. Be very clear to F1 that this is totally out of order. Unless she would be paying of course.

Contact the school or you are likely to find yourself signed up for future raffles too (coz if it works she will try it again). I think I would do it though, because the school will not tell all the parents that you weren't asked, so it will look like you've gone back on an offer, which wouldn't look good.

TBH, the school should never have accepted her offer without checking with you first. They are equally at fault.

Just tell her you're not providing it but they're welcome to purchase a voucher to raffle if they wish. Chances are she was asked if she knew any local businesses that might donate prizes, she's showed off to her new pta buddies, and it's come back to bite her on the arse, hopefully she realises she's being a twat before she ruins the friendship.

You need to pull her on this straight away because even if you do decide to donate it she is a cheeky bitch.

"F1 I am beyond angry with you, I'm not sure who you think you are but be very clear on this - you do NOT now or ever decide what I will or will not donate to ANY cause and you most certainly not take my donation as your contribution. I will think about whether or not I donate after I have calmed down, it's your mess to sort out if I decide not to but know this - it had better not have any negative reprucussions for my business because as is you are lucky I am not in with the principal already"

If it's already on the flyers, you may have to do it. But make it clear to F1 that she is paying at least half of it.

I would tell the school and the PTA that (a) you were never asked, and (b) your 'friend' not only admitted it, but defended her behaviour, and (c) that you cannot afford it so they will have to pay you to cover the costs of the prize as removing the prize would potentially hurt your business unfairly, and of course they don't want that.

This. Cheeky mare!

What does CF do for a job? Could you dontate an hour of her time of it? Or some babysitting/dog walking etc?

I'd explain to the school that I had nothing to do with it.

Very cheeky friend and annoying, especially as you don't even have a child at that school!

Can you compromise and ask friend to pay for half the cut/colour? I'd be worried about adverse publicity if it was known a haircut hadn't been donated.

Would you have done it if she’d asked you First?

I think that I’d suck it up. But be absolutely furious at DF. Tell her it leaves you out of pocket, and as pp said upthread - would she have done it you worked for Tesco? Ask her to contribute to the cost, and tell her that if she ever does this again, you will be contacting the school to explain your non-involvement.

You don't HAVE to do anything-even if it is on the flyers. That is her problem, not yours. I would be bloody tempted to "volunteer" her services cleaning cars or houses for the raffle. Or she can come and do the bloody sweeping up and cleaning and tea making and hair washing at your salon while you give the prize considering she is trying to take credit for it!

How can it be F1's contribution unless she's either coming to your salon to do the cut and colour herself, or she's covering the cost of you doing it?

Cheeky fucker!!! I like nocabbage 's response