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To be pissed off with marrieds who don't work complaining they are tired?!

(486 Posts)
sloeginforever Mon 18-Sep-17 22:55:25

I know everything is relative and everyone has their own problems...but I am sick of hearing mums of school age children, who have partners, who don't work, complaining they are tired and have so much to do!

I am a single mum, I work full time. I get up at 5:30, deliver three children to different schools about ten miles in total, then drive to work, work a full day, collect same children, go home, cook everyday, clean the house, wash all the clothes.

I've got one friend in particular who is a stay at home mum. She texts me all day moaning about how tired she is, since they went back to school there is just so much to do, and getting it all clean before they get home is soooo hard. She's so stressed by it all. Her husband works, takes the children to school, cooks...

I have absolutely no issues with life choices as a stay at home mum. I'm not jealous and I don't have issues with them not being in full time work or anything. But just stop telling me how hard your bloody life is!!

And don't even start me on the married, childless woman at work who just got a dog and is soooo exhausted.

Rant over.

maddening Mon 18-Sep-17 22:57:34


Pickleypickles Mon 18-Sep-17 22:57:45

I dont think YABU. Lots of people will be here to tell you are soon though. Brave post OP.

BakerBear Mon 18-Sep-17 23:00:02

Everyone thinks they have a hard life

sloeginforever Mon 18-Sep-17 23:00:10

I know. I read it back and thought what a bitch.

BUT. I've had a shit shit day at work. Kept all the children alive. Cleaned, cooked, washed. Crawled into bed after nearly 18 hours to find a text saying sorry I haven't had much chance to text you, but I've had so much to do since the kids went back to school, I haven't stopped this last week and I'm exhausted.

Pixilicious Mon 18-Sep-17 23:01:25

Yanbu, I feel the same.

Wolfiefan Mon 18-Sep-17 23:02:46

We got a pup. I have never been more fucking tired in my life. At least a baby wakes for a feed and goes back to sleep. Puppies wake when they need a wee. Sometimes every half an hour! Mine would cry if she couldn't see me. I had to lie on the floor until she slept. It was bloody hard. So I wouldn't judge that.
And I don't work. I'm bloody tired. 6:30 till midnight ish is normal hours here. Kids and house and dog and running everybody about and cats and trying to fit in the gym and etc etc. I also have anxiety. That's bloody exhausting in itself.
I tend not to share with people how shit some days are. There are always those who judge.
Feel free to judge others. Once you've walked a week in their shoes.

Puppymouse Mon 18-Sep-17 23:02:50

You may get a bit flamed for this but I think you've hit the nail on the head by saying it's all relative. I think single parents are incredible. I'm genuinely in awe of how you do everything, I find working three days a week with one child and animals with a supportive DH exhausting. I realise I might be giving you the rage again but your lens will always be your own life, your own experiences and your own body and mind's capacity. I know what my tolerance levels and stress triggers are, I've worked in a full time high stress job and am lucky to be able to choose not to do it anymore. I'm still tired though! I think it can be triggered by a lot of stuff. Including boredom or depression.

UrsulaPandress Mon 18-Sep-17 23:03:01

You have some weird friends if that is what they text you.

blueshoes Mon 18-Sep-17 23:03:42

YANBU if they are parents of school age children without disabilities.

sloeginforever Mon 18-Sep-17 23:05:08

Haha I just need new friends 😂

SonicHedgehog Mon 18-Sep-17 23:06:23

At least a baby wakes for a feed and goes back to sleep

^looks at 9 week old DD staring up at me like this: 😐"

Lol. Ok then.

raisedbyguineapigs Mon 18-Sep-17 23:06:30

Do you reply? I wouldn't bother. Or reply with 'Oh didn't notice you hadn't texted. I was...' then list all the things you've been doing all day, just like you have here. Sounds like she's attention seeking.

Lovingmybear2 Mon 18-Sep-17 23:06:51

I have been a sahm of toddlers hard!

and worked full time bloody hard!

I had a few wonderful golden years when all of my kids were at school and I was a sahm. It was bloody easy Peasy bliss of a bit of cleaning/cooking/shopping and lots of coffee with friends and reading/walking the dog and swimming at the gym.

Best days of my life and piss easy.

Totally agree op I admire you it must be bloody unrelenting. Being a sahm with school age kids is a doddle. wink

OverOn Mon 18-Sep-17 23:07:26

I get you. I think they are not really thinking about how different your life is though. They have their own stuff going on and don't stop to think about how hard life is when you're working FT and a LP.

Doesn't stop it feeling shit though!

LineysRun Mon 18-Sep-17 23:07:49

I don't think you're being unreasonable to post that.

My life as a single working parent was, for many years, gruelling and shit. Some Sunday nights I could barely face the week ahead.

sloeginforever Mon 18-Sep-17 23:07:56

blueshoes, there's a few of my friends who are like this and none of them have disabled children and they are all school age. The one who tipped me over the edge just now has no illness/disability of herself or the family, has a husband earning a good wage, a husband who does half the running round, and a Mum who does the rest, a husband who cooks and cleans. And they've had three holidays abroad since May.

Ladydepp Mon 18-Sep-17 23:08:24

I have no doubt your life is tiring, but do you really have non-working friends who text you about being tired even though they know you're a busy single mum? Either you're exaggerating or you need to find some new friends, they don't sound very supportive....

And yes puppies are exhausting, but thankfully not for long.

lawnofdelray Mon 18-Sep-17 23:08:45

your choice to have a bunch of kids you have to work to support.
It's real life.

arethereanyleftatall Mon 18-Sep-17 23:09:03

Yabu. People are allowed to be tired whatever their reason may be. They're not saying you shouldn't be tired-er.
Mind, I wouldn't text a friend I was tired if she were in a similar situation to you, that seems a bit weird.

I could be your friend in this scenario (I'm not because I wouldn't send such a text). I am tired by the end of the day because I do a shit load of exercise in my free time. So, I am technically tired. Wouldn't complain about it though!

Wolfiefan Mon 18-Sep-17 23:09:14

Haha Sonic. Babies don't tend to chew you or piddle all over the kitchen floor in the middle of the night before deciding it's playtime and they simply must start bouncing.
I have two children. I swear with the kids I could be so tired I could cry. With the puppy I was so tired I was almost hallucinating. shock

Lovingmybear2 Mon 18-Sep-17 23:09:15


Do you have the puppy in one of those cage things or by herself in a basket downstairs? Huge mistake! We co sleeped with our kids and now our baby puppy. Never had a sleepless night with the puppy. Just cuddle her up. She be fine

hophop333 Mon 18-Sep-17 23:09:43

You're so busy OP but still found the time to write a particularly long post on here smile

sloeginforever Mon 18-Sep-17 23:10:16

raisedbyguineapigs, I used to reply and provide sympathy and be a good friend. But really?! Tonight I just read it and ignored.

Pennysnow Mon 18-Sep-17 23:10:22


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