To be pissed off with marrieds who don't work complaining they are tired?!

[sloeginforever]

I know everything is relative and everyone has their own problems...but I am sick of hearing mums of school age children, who have partners, who don't work, complaining they are tired and have so much to do!

I am a single mum, I work full time. I get up at 5:30, deliver three children to different schools about ten miles in total, then drive to work, work a full day, collect same children, go home, cook everyday, clean the house, wash all the clothes.

I've got one friend in particular who is a stay at home mum. She texts me all day moaning about how tired she is, since they went back to school there is just so much to do, and getting it all clean before they get home is soooo hard. She's so stressed by it all. Her husband works, takes the children to school, cooks...

I have absolutely no issues with life choices as a stay at home mum. I'm not jealous and I don't have issues with them not being in full time work or anything. But just stop telling me how hard your bloody life is!!

And don't even start me on the married, childless woman at work who just got a dog and is soooo exhausted.

Rant over.

Lethaldrizzle -

Excellent comment!

I am sure marrieds can get just as tired as single parents.

I "chose" to leave their abusive father to save our lives.

I read the thread prepared to say that YABU, but reading about your friend, I can see your point. She doesn't sound like she's offering you much support!

I am a married SAHM but DH is away Mon - Fri every week, and this was not something that we discussed or I agreed to.

I find the situation exhausting and I complain about it to my friends, but I try to limit the complaining to when I'm feeling particularly overwhelmed, and I work hard to be as good a listener as a moaner, as I know everyone has stuff in their life that's difficult. Your "friend" not giving you space to blow off your own steam is pretty crap.

Expectation though innit.

I was a single mum with dog working working 40 hrs a week. Tired but not lonely and not stressed.

I find having a partner away, or sulking after an arguement really lonely. I find tidying a house for someone else very stressful and tiring.

I work full time but have a partner who shares the workload at home. I honestly dont know how single parents do it and since having DS my respect for them has increased by 100 times. Your reasons for being a single parent are none of my business but more power to you for managing a household with 3 children alone. You are incredible OP.

It's not a competition but you and your friend both seem to think it is. You do a lot you are tired, she does what she needs to do that makes her tired, maybe you just all stop complaining to each other and accept those are the choices you've made and no one can tell someone else not to be tired. I have a hormone condition and shine data can work 18 hours drive from London to Manchester and be fine, some days wiping down the kitchen and putting some laundry on makes me shattered. She hasn't lived your life as you and you haven't lived her life as her. Worry about something that matters.

Not read thread but everything is relative, op on third world counties there are single mums who have much harder struggles who would be amazed you have the luxury of a car etc.

But.. In ansa to the original op... I raise you mums who have staff who moan.

As in live somewhere like Singapore, huge house, gardener, cook, cleaner, several nannies... And no full time job and huge wealth to pull on and they moan

Ugh zombie thread, so many.today who keeps reviving them!!

I'm a sahm. 3 year old at preschool, got my 10 month old at home. I'm exhausted. I do it all. Laundry cleaning gardening ironing tidying up toys etc etc. Yesterday i dismantled shelving and half of our kitchen, which I've just sold. I'll take baby for a run this afternoon. With dog. It never ends.

@lawnofdelray your ignorance is astounding. Please, if you're able, explain the difference between a single mother (who obviously was part of a stable couple when they had children) and a married couple?
Do you really believe that people can see years into the future and see how life pans out?
Or are you (not so silently smug) married and believe it's your good moral values and ethics that have kept you from being single?

@sloeginforever Fair play to you is all I can say. Yanbu at all! I have a friend like this and it's tedious.

I just want to say that i think the Op is amazing and a big well done to you.
I have 2 dc and work 16 hours a week as well as run the house and its knackering. No idea how you do it 💐

Don't you love a bitter person's rant pretending to themselves they're not bitter.

THREAD FROM SEPT 2017

ZOMBIE. ZOMBIE.

YABU. It's relative. I have no children and work my bloody tits off. DS has the easiest baby ever and is a single mom. I'm up at 5.30am every day and barely fit everything in. She has the bloody life of Riley!

@manicmij I find your comments difficult to read. 'Some' people become single parents because they escape domestic violence. They know full well however hard life gets after this point it will be easier.
Some people become single parents as they're widowed. But hey, how irresponsible to have not known this at the planning a baby stage.
I could go on. I won't. I'll try not to judge you. Perhaps one day with enough knowledge or indeed empathy, you'll realise that not everything is black and white, not everything is down to an informed choice.

OP - I get it - single Mum , 2 DCS, 2 jobs, minimal maintenance. I pointed out to EX that the only time, I sit down on some days is to take a piss and I am not exaggerrating!!!

The ones that get me are the SAHMs or part time 12-15 hrs per week parents who then moan about their OH not pulling their weight and telling they know what it is like to be single Mum - they need a slap!!!

YANBU at all. I am surrounded by the fuckers.

Of course I realise there are circumstances that people have no control over. My response was to the original post of AIBU feeling of people deciding to have children knowing they will technically be a single parent and why some people go through all the traditional elements of marriage eg expensive weddings, changing name yet being unmarried when having children which has not been regarded as traditional. No way did I crtisise single parents no matter how they became such.

Reasons I am a single mum - 15 yrs of marriage 2 DCS under 5 - both planned and wanted.
EX never really loved me and my ex v good friend needed him more.

Believe me not planned, anticipated or even considered at the time of conception!

Yep, I cook, clean, wash, fix, drive do homework, ironing optional, do the finances, pay the bills, earn the monies, service the car, look after my remaining parent, take sick child to hospital regularly, have long term health condition - but you just get on with it. That is life but there is no doubt that now eldest DC can make me a cup of tea - that makes me smile, best gift of the week!

I am sure marrieds can get just as tired as single parents. Right but if you;re a stay at home parent with a helpful partner and no major life issues going on you're probably less tired than OP. That's not to say you can't feel tired and have a moan sometimes but choose your audience! Don't moan to someone who clearly is going to be busier and more tired than you!

Zombie thread

Ive been working FT for the last few months, prior to that working PT and before that a SAHM.

No one can tell me that being a SAHM when kids are at school is harder than being a working mum.

I hear you OP! YUNBU.

Yes, zombie thread but perennial theme