To be pissed off with marrieds who don't work complaining they are tired?!

[sloeginforever]

I know everything is relative and everyone has their own problems...but I am sick of hearing mums of school age children, who have partners, who don't work, complaining they are tired and have so much to do!

I am a single mum, I work full time. I get up at 5:30, deliver three children to different schools about ten miles in total, then drive to work, work a full day, collect same children, go home, cook everyday, clean the house, wash all the clothes.

I've got one friend in particular who is a stay at home mum. She texts me all day moaning about how tired she is, since they went back to school there is just so much to do, and getting it all clean before they get home is soooo hard. She's so stressed by it all. Her husband works, takes the children to school, cooks...

I have absolutely no issues with life choices as a stay at home mum. I'm not jealous and I don't have issues with them not being in full time work or anything. But just stop telling me how hard your bloody life is!!

And don't even start me on the married, childless woman at work who just got a dog and is soooo exhausted.

Rant over.

She's nearly a year. Much better now. She can't sleep with me. Wolfhounds don't do stairs (potential for joint damage) and I wouldn't fit her in the bed if she made it up here!!!! (We did co sleep to start with though! )

Actually, lawn, I didn't choose to do that at all.

hophop, I don't usually complain that I am tired. I certainly don't tell my friends that I am either. I was just ranting.

your choice to have a bunch of kids you have to work to support.
It's real life.

Ouch!

lawn it wasn't my choice to have a twatdad and be a LP

Yanbu op. Your life sounds very tiring and your friend should be more sensitive. Yes she may be tired BUT she should realise you have many more demands on your time. She should let off steam to other friends if she's knackered.

Does she Think you're just naturally superwoman or do you think she's trying to annoy you? I don't think she's a great friend to you.

Yeeeesssss OP!

YANBU.

wolfie

in fairness we have a yorkie

Wolfhound sounds amazing but didn't know about the stair issue that's interesting could we have a pikki? Sorry op cheeky thread bomb but you have to love a dog.

And yanbu tell your friends to get a grip

YABU
I'm a SAHM and all my kids are in school since last week. I'm tired and guess what my house is a shit tip because I haven't had time to clean it. I don't give a flying fuck if I chose to have 4 kids, 3 demanding voluntary community positions and study part time. I'm still allowed to be tired.

Xmasbaby I think you've hit the nail on the head and I've only just realised!!

YANBU

Am equally sick to death of lazy fuckers.

And don't even get me started on the ones who go all "ooo....get you splashing the cash" if I so much as buy a wine that wasn't on offer. Yeah, if you bothered to work, you could afford the 10 quid bottle of wine too. Goddamnit.

Sahm's if school age dc are kind of stuck though.
Not allowed to say they're tired, as woh do 'everything you do and work.'
Not allowed to say they have a blooming marvellous life because that's smug and rubbing working parents noses in it.
What are they allowed to say?

I have one child, one dog, no husband, don't work, had 4 holidays this year, I'm still tired.

lawn

You never know when you could become a single parent. Never be smug

YABU

Thedc I don't think your life is the kind I'm complaining about...sounds like you actually do stuff with your time that would make you tired! Seriously, she only leaves the house to go for a coffee/cinema/shopping.

YANBU

YANBU.

I would have a serious word with her about how shit her whining is given your circumstances. She isn't a friend if she cant get her head round your situation.

So it is all relative - I quite regularly feel so tired after my 9-5 that I come home and sleep for a bit. You definitely definitely definitely do more and have much less down time and support than I do, though.

I guess the difference is I would never dream of complaining to a friend of mine with tinies or who is a lone parent, or parenting children with additional needs, or all of the above, about how tired I am. I think yanu and your friend is being shitty.

Also, sadly some of us are copers and some of us are not (not saying where I fall on that spectrum!). And some of us only find out that we've really been copers in disguise all this time when the shit really hits the fan.

I've tried three times. Sorry if we end up wolfie bombing the thread! My baby girl and the cause of my exhaustion!

Where is my pic?!?! 4th time lucky?!

Reply to said text.

Yes I know what you mean:

I've had a shit shit day at work. Kept all the children alive. Cleaned, cooked, washed. Crawled into bed after nearly 18 hours but that's most days for me lol!

Oops.

generally not being unreasonable, but there may be extenuating circumstances.

eg ds and dd have additional needs. I did not notice how much time was taken on them until each went away with school.

it would seem that we have conditions that make us tireder than the average person.

some marriages are not the happy image they present. fucking exhautisng living with someone who does fuck all.

depends.

still generall y not unreasonable though.

@arethereanyleftatall I don't think it's about what they can and can't say: it's about phrasing it sensitively and/or knowing your audience.

I doubt the OP would be complaining if her friend had said "I'm fucking knackered and I don't know where my time is going, I feel like all I do is laundry, I honestly don't know how you cope with it all, no DP and a job too."