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To judge this woman?

(493 Posts)
moralberyll Mon 11-Sep-17 18:42:23

Leaving the local maternity unit today and a heavily pregnant woman who is obviously a patient as she was wearing a dressing gown, slippers and pyjamas was standing right near the doorway smoking a cigarette, there is a big sign up saying 'no smoking on campus'. Aibu to judge her that she is not only putting her own baby at risk but she wants to put other people's baby's at risk from secondhand smoke as well? I would definitely have said something if i were leaving the unit with my newborn baby!

Iloveanimals Mon 11-Sep-17 18:43:46

Imo it's wrong but a lot on here will say her body her choice.

Pengggwn Mon 11-Sep-17 18:45:34

hmm

Obviously we all know it is bad for the baby. But it is a powerfully physically and psychologically addictive chemical, and you know nothing about her. For all you know - god forbid - her baby hasn't survived, or she had just received terrible news, or she is mentally ill. It is nothing to do with you.

GreenTulips Mon 11-Sep-17 18:45:46

Yes its totally wrong that a pregnant woman has to stand in the street in her bed clothes in the cold to smoke -

Non smokers wanted it this way!!! You should be happy

Bluntness100 Mon 11-Sep-17 18:46:33

Well she could have moved away, but depends on what the midwives told her in how far to go, to be fair I started smoking again when I went into labour, the midwives said it would cause no harm at that stage and quite frankly, i was feeling rather stressed. hmm

So no I wouldn't judge.

Whambarsarentasfizzyastheywere Mon 11-Sep-17 18:47:13

Judge all you like, not sure what you're going to get out of it though confused

moralberyll Mon 11-Sep-17 18:47:16

Peng, but does that give her the right to use her addiction to put other baby's at risk and make others uncomfortable as well then?

dudsville Mon 11-Sep-17 18:47:26

Uff. I was in a&e last month. A window was open and someone smoking outside. Made me feel rougher than I already felt.

x2boys Mon 11-Sep-17 18:47:54

Whilst I wouldn't smoke whilst pregnant I'm not sure how she is putting someone else's child at risk if you don't want to pass through her second hand smoke go out another door hospitals have many exits.

Pengggwn Mon 11-Sep-17 18:48:17

moralberyll

No, but I wouldn't judge her for it. I would just walk out of her way. Because I try to reserve judgement before I understand the situation.

Milliemoo37 Mon 11-Sep-17 18:48:22

I see this when I'm leaving my local Newborn Centre, it's disgusting but it's their choice to do so. I don't see why they have to stand right near the doors where many pregnant ladies are walking through.
I can't stop myself from saying loudly to my partner "I'm not walking down that way, it stinks" and walk another way past them.
I feel like a bitch but I don't want to be breathing in their disgusting smoke.

Babyblues14 Mon 11-Sep-17 18:49:11

I agree with Peng, she could of just received awful news. You have no idea what is going on in people's lives so you shouldn't be judging

moralberyll Mon 11-Sep-17 18:49:35

X2 but why does someone else's addiction trump others rights to walk their. baby's out of the hospital doors without being hit by a cloud of smoke?

Polliver Mon 11-Sep-17 18:50:21

Yes and no. Obviously smoking during pregnancy is the absolute pits, and inflicting second hand smoke on new mothers and babies is terrible.

BUT

Perhaps she hasn't had a lot of good fortune in life, (maybe a lack of education, poor background...) and doesn't really appreciate - or care - what a poor choice she is making. I think when people lead sad and difficult lives, things like cigarettes can be a real emotional crutch that can be so difficult to get rid of, no matter how many disapproving looks you get, or leaflets that medical professionals give you.

Either way, someone at the hospital should have told her to move, for sure.

moralberyll Mon 11-Sep-17 18:51:09

Ok if you've got an addiction it's ok to break the rules that are displayed quite clearly and stick two fingers up to other people's rights then hmm

Ktown Mon 11-Sep-17 18:52:10

This is relatively recent. People used to puff away and we knew the risks.
It is really bad for the child but there isn't much you can do.
She may have a rubbish life and not know any better. Lots of things are harmful to kids and it doesn't stop people doing them.

EamonnWright Mon 11-Sep-17 18:52:34

I had a boss who smoked all through her pregnancy. Right or wrong but I couldn't fully respect her.

GahBuggerit Mon 11-Sep-17 18:52:43

It has to be her body her choice, doesn't it?

Tbf its unlikely to impossible for her to put another person's fetus at risk by them simply walking past for 3 seconds.

Full disclosure - I had the odd cig when Pg, wouldn't have done it outside a mat unit even if I fancied one, unless I'd been given bad news. Can't imagine I'd give the tiniest shit what someone thought if I was in that situation .

x2boys Mon 11-Sep-17 18:52:47

It doesn't but if it was like the hospital I worked at the main road through the hospital was a public highway nothing the hospital could do to stop patients or staff smoking on it and tbh if I felt that strongly I would just find another exit .

Mymycherrypie Mon 11-Sep-17 18:53:00

Why should non smokers who are in hospital and may well have their own mobility issues and breathing issues, walk further to avoid smokers confused Why do non smokers have to appease smokers all the time. They are the ones who choose it. I didn't give in to peer pressure so now I have to walk further when I am hospitalised so that a smoker can get their fix? No.

isadoradancing123 Mon 11-Sep-17 18:53:43

Oh for Gods sake get over it, if you had your newborn baby in a car seat just put a muslin over the seat as you walk through

Pengggwn Mon 11-Sep-17 18:53:44

I didn't say it was okay. I said I would reserve judgement because I had no understanding of her situation.

Merida83 Mon 11-Sep-17 18:54:19

YANBU! and anyone who says you are is in my view very wrong!
hospital grounds are no smoking areas. i get so fed up of shooing people away from front doors etc! if you want to do something that ruins your health knock yourself out but don't subject others to it and FFS if you are pregnant put your baby first!

Shakey15000 Mon 11-Sep-17 18:54:51

Yep it's wrong. There should be a smoking shelter, preferably room, provided.

Babyblues14 Mon 11-Sep-17 18:55:01

And even the staff don't follow the rules for smoking outside the doors. They all do it. Is the issue that she is a pregnant woman smoking or just that she was near the door? If you were that offended you could of asked her to move instead of complaining about it later

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