To judge this woman?

[moralberyll]

Leaving the local maternity unit today and a heavily pregnant woman who is obviously a patient as she was wearing a dressing gown, slippers and pyjamas was standing right near the doorway smoking a cigarette, there is a big sign up saying 'no smoking on campus'. Aibu to judge her that she is not only putting her own baby at risk but she wants to put other people's baby's at risk from secondhand smoke as well? I would definitely have said something if i were leaving the unit with my newborn baby!

You need to get off your high horse. I've not said anything sexist or even, really, that unreasonable.

I've simply asserted that smoking while pregnant is wrong and that individuals need to take more responsibility for their actions in the face of an overburdened NHS.

But you go ahead and make spurious claims all you like. As you've said, this is only a chat forum.

Don't worry I did- even before you gave your permission! What a cheeky one I am.

I've simply asserted that smoking while pregnant is wrong and that individuals need to take more responsibility for their actions in the face of an overburdened NHS.

You're being disingenuous here. What you actually said was thread the NHS shouldn't care for the children of women who smoke while pregnant.

Only for any illnesses brought on as a direct result of that irresponsible behaviour after support and encouragement/penalties had been given to those who ignored it.

And even then, I only posited it as a possible response.

Anyway, this really has run its course now. There are far too many of you who have perverted the real issues that lie behind bodily autonomy to allow for an abrogation of personal responsibility for the decision one makes.

"I said that one commenter (gender unknown) had replied to me hysterically."

Female is sex, not gender.

Also, if you have read the thread and have the minimum required level of English comprehension for an adult, you would know that I am female after the post below:

14/09/2017 21:14 CoteDAzur
For the record, I don't smoke and have not smoked during my pregnancies.

If I were any calmer when writing the post you called hysterical, I would be sleeping. Do you even know what the word "hysterical" means?

You used that word not because I was under the influence of uncontrolled emotions but because yoh think it's OK to silence women by calling them "hysterical".

You won't be happy even in China, in afraid. You need the equivalent of China from the previous century.

"I've simply asserted that smoking while pregnant is wrong"

The whole world knows that smoking doing pregnancy is wrong. If you see a pregnant woman smoking, it's quite possibly that she knows it's wrong and has dropped her use from 40 to 2 per day, or has just had the terrible news that pregnancy is not viable (as some said happened to them), or some other circumstance that you can't imagine because you're too high up on your horse.

What you "asserted" went far beyond that. You said women should be punished by law and otherwise prevented by the state from doing stuff that is recognized as risky for the optimum development of the fetus that they are carrying, because their body isn't just theirs when women are pregnant.

You are very wrong is those assertions. A woman's body is her own. WE don't become your handmaids when sperm fertilized eggs. And we are not "hysterical" when we voice opposing views to yours.

Not that this is a likely scenario because I wouldn't come near enough a man with such misogynist and controlling views to get pregnant by him, but if a man I'm pregnant by were to say such stuff, I would get an abortion rather than have a child with him.

Does your DW or DP know about your opinions on this thread?

AtHome do you realise that your sperm also plays a part in the health of the baby? You should abstain from any drink or drug use prior to getting a woman pregnant. Would t be fair to police your body even though I am not a man?

Round of applause for cote 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

everyone knows smoking KILLS no excuses about her 'situation' upbringing etc that is just an excuse she is killing herself and damaging her unborn

everyone knows smoking KILLS no excuses about her 'situation' upbringing etc that is just an excuse she is killing herself and damaging her unborn

No one is disputing that smoking is harmful. It's still her decision to do it or not.

but if a man I'm pregnant by were to say such stuff, I would get an abortion rather than have a child with him

Not sure you will find two doctors to agree to terminating your pregnancy just because you heard your sex partner say something you disagreed with.

Thankfully, I live in a place where I don't need even one doctor's approval to have an abortion.

In that hypothetical and very unlikely case of getting pregnant by a man with such misogynistic and controlling views as AtHomeDad, I would just go to my gynecologist who does my annual smear tests, tell him that I want an abortion, and he would prescribe the necessary pills.

That's what happens and should happen when a woman is truly in control of her body.

"I've not said anything sexist or even, really, that unreasonable. "

In that case, you wouldn't mind showing us what exactly you thought was "hysterical" in my post below. That was the word you used for it instead of attempting an answer:

Yesterday 10:11 CoteDAzur
"they shouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place?"
You call yourself "Dad" so presumably know how pregnancies come about? You should also know by now that many are not planned.
Maybe you would like to force abortions on pregnant women who "couldn't be bothered" to quit before their bodies "stopped being their own"?
Why not? Once you start telling women they don't have bodily autonomy & proposing punishment for not being optimum incubators, there's no end to the slippery slope.

I've never seen so much self justification for smoking during pregancy! Smoking adds to the stress response - rapidly entering the bloodstream and increasing the heart rate of mother and foetus.

AtHomeDadGlos
I haven't 'repeatedly used hysterical women tropes' thank you, I said that one commenter (gender unknown) had replied to me hysterically. The only one who brought gender into it was them and subsequent posters

Female thanks
You are repeatedly telling women we a mere incubators with no rights in pregnancy, our body is not ours
Damn right i get shitty when people start saying pregnant women should be fined for simply living our lives
Any suggestion that our body is not ours in pregnancy is simply disgusting. You cant even answer why men should get a say in what happens to women in pregnancy as you will NEVER experience it or the crap that comes with it.

Like it or not, women at all times own our body. If you want to be frank, a woman dont actually have to care for herself in pregnancy or even seek medical care. Funnily enough, its attitudes like yours that keep some women from seeking help. You are part of the problem

No one is saying it is perfectly ok to smoke while pregnant, we are saying that it is the woman's body to do with what she wants. Once you strip her rights while pregnant where does it end? I am no feminist and disagree with a lot of what they say these days, but women have been treated like shit in the past and I think we are generally just scared of that happening again and take my away our rights while pregnant puts an end to the right to an abortion. We don't want that. You should be able to choose what you want not be forced into what society wants from you.