To judge this woman?

[moralberyll]

Leaving the local maternity unit today and a heavily pregnant woman who is obviously a patient as she was wearing a dressing gown, slippers and pyjamas was standing right near the doorway smoking a cigarette, there is a big sign up saying 'no smoking on campus'. Aibu to judge her that she is not only putting her own baby at risk but she wants to put other people's baby's at risk from secondhand smoke as well? I would definitely have said something if i were leaving the unit with my newborn baby!

These things are related to genetics. Not smoking. Hay fever, athsma etc. are all part of an immune system sensitivity and how your body reacts to it.

I’m rough as fuck and a cigarette has never graced my lips 💅🏻

DustyMaiden

It has nothing to do with social economics!

It's babies. Not baby's.

Well crisp sheets I'd judge you more on having to swear for a reaction.

Op, you sound a little hysterical there, is there something else going on with you? Maybe if your concerned ask a doctor if your baby's life is at risk by walking through some second hand smoke. I think you'll feel reassured.

Crisp sheets, that statement says more about you than it does about smoking pregnant women, and I too would judge you more harshly for calling another woman a cunt and being unable to form a cohesive argument.

Really.
Putting the life of an unborn child before your own inadequacies?

I was in hospital with a broken ankle and whenever my H wheeled me outside there was always pregnant women having a fag by the doors. It's their choice, I doubt very much that a few seconds exposure to out door smoke will damamge anyone.

We all have inadequacies crisp sheets. It's called being human.

Putting the life of an unborn child before your own inadequacies?

Everyone is inadequate in different ways. No person is perfect.

I judged when I saw someone smoking right after my missed miscarriage. I was filled with grief and rage that I'd done everything right and my baby died while someone was doing the opposite.

I'd never comment though, I think VelvetKnickers sums it up perfectly for me.

I seen the same thing when I was in hospital being induced a few month back me and my DH would go for walks around the hospital grounds and there were a few heavily pregnant women smoking although I don't agree with it I also think it's their choice their child and they have to live with the consequences if the child has any ill healths from them smoking

So sorry for your loss Can't think

No I think YABU - she isn't saying "my body my rules Hun" - and you're being a judgemental twat for assuming she is. You don't know her story. For all you know she's being induced to birth a dead or soon to die baby and so can't step too far away from the hospital. Have some compassion for what might be going on in her life.

And yes ideally hospitals should be non-smoking zones - but please tell me how the secondhand smoke from this woman is somehow so much worse than any pollution a newborn is facing while waiting for the car to pull up to go home?

I'm an ex smoker and I hate the smell of smoke; your problem seems to be instead that you hate smokers.

YANBU- I don't care what her circumstances are. There is NO reason that would satisfy me.

I am with you crisp too many apologists for pregnant smokers here. It is quite simply revolting to smoke when pregnant, it should not be a case of ''it's her body'' FFS who is on the side of the tiny unborn baby that has no choice what the woman who is supposed to do her very best to protect and nurture it does!?

If you cannot give up the foul habit for 9 months then you shouldn't even have a baby.

It has to be her body her choice, doesn't it?
More's the pity.......and pity the child for the health problems they are likely to struggle with

I smoke and don't like the smell either People have smoked for years, now we have vape, isn't that smoking? What pisses me off is the lack of live and let live these days. There's always something else to get "angry" about. Just stop being so judgemental.

Of course I'd judge. Who wouldn't if they're being honest? Everyone knows the risks now and pregnant women smoking is just the pits. I don't give a toss about ' oh but the poor woman might have had bad news/ be mentally ill/ be so addicted she can't stop even for the sake of her unborn baby.'

Some women smoke and don't give a toss. She'll have been one of them. So yeah I'm with you OP. I wouldn't say anything of course but I'm allowed my personal thoughts

DustyMaiden am so sorry that on top of dealing with your loss you had to deal with a judgemental cunt too.

No smoking while pregnant isn't ideal, yes everyone knows it's bad for the foetus, no you don't have the right to judge other people with no idea of their circumstance. Your judgment helps no one. And it's the thin end of the wedge, judging women for smoking is on the same spectrum as banning abortion and criminalising women who suffer miscarriage. All of it is rooted in viewing women as nothing but vessels whose needs and desires no longer matter once they're pregnant.

It's nearly as bad as the people who stand outside our cancer centre smoking so people(me) walking in for Chemo & Radio etc have to walk straight through it, there's only one door and it makes me irrationally angry. There is also a constant tannoy declaring it's a smoke free hospital along with a whacking great sign too 😡

Yes YABU, whilst I have to admit my first reaction would be to judge I would stop and tell myself it is unfair to judge someone without knowing all the details, yes she could be some selfish cow with little consideration for her unborn child and the people who have to walk through her second hand smoke or it could be something as horrific as she is about to be induced to give birth to her child that has already died in utero.

You shouldn't judge when it is based on an assumption but it would appear no matter the possibilities of why she is doing that you are of the predisposition of judgement.