To judge this woman?

[moralberyll]

Leaving the local maternity unit today and a heavily pregnant woman who is obviously a patient as she was wearing a dressing gown, slippers and pyjamas was standing right near the doorway smoking a cigarette, there is a big sign up saying 'no smoking on campus'. Aibu to judge her that she is not only putting her own baby at risk but she wants to put other people's baby's at risk from secondhand smoke as well? I would definitely have said something if i were leaving the unit with my newborn baby!

Hilarious that people claim not to judge. EVERYONE judges people, everyone, admit it or not, we all do.

everyone judges people
Correct - and the amount of people on here judging the judges proves the point.

well maybe there are just strong opinions, yes we all do judge then.

Around 1 in 10 women are still smoking at the time of delivery.

You may find that difficult to believe depending on what circles you move in as the numbers are heavily skewed towards poor women and those with MH issues. It's the biggest cause of health inequalities today.

The majority of smokers started as children and the vast majority of all quit attempts end in failure at one year. We should be doing all we can to support women to quit, for their own health, their babies' health, and the health of everyone around them.

Sadly, MN is a hostile place for PG smokers to seek support. Every so often one will start a thread and get flamed to fuck. Those threads are vastly outnumbered by judgmental threads like this one about PG smokers. It's no suprise therefore that not many pg women come here for support to quit.

So MN is letting down one in ten pregnant women. And while it might make you feel good to judge, you're actually part of the problem. If judgment worked, there would be NO pg smokers. There'd be no smokers at all, in fact, because there has been an abundance of judgment in recent years from all quarters. Those for whom this tactic works have pretty much all quit. For the smokers who are left, judging just makes it harder. Harder to seek help, harder to be motivated to improve their health.

If anybody here actually cares about health and not just their opportunity to have a good judge, please support this request for a webchat from someone sensible on smoking in pregnancy. MNHQ have said they are looking into it but I imagine it's slipped down the list of priorities.

Wouldn't it be great if we could make MN part of the solution instead of part of the problem?

"Correct - and the amount of people on here judging the judges proves the point."

^^, but some of us are honest enough to admit it.

Every time I'm at the hospital maternity unit (which is a lot at the moment as I have GD) there are entire notice boards taken up with advice on smoking, clinics about smoking, smoking support groups, where to get help if you want to stop smoking...and although I've never smoked in my life I've completed countless questionnaires to identify if I need support giving up. I'm not sure how much more can be offered really. If women won't give up after all that, and knowing the risks, they probably don't want to.

I would try not to judge because it's not my place or my business, but being entirely honest I don't like to see pregnant women smoking or anyone pushing pushchairs/prams with lit cigarettes because it's just so damaging for the baby.

It's babies

I take the view that it is wrong to smoke in pregnancy as it puts the foetus/baby at risk. I do not feel that I need to hide my view, in fact I feel that I should state my view as that might influence people not to smoke.

I started smoking again in the car park of the maternity ward after finding out my first baby had died at a scan. Admittedly I was sat in my husband's car rather than right outside the hospital entrance but I was in rather a daze and wouldn't necessarily have been thinking about the impact on other people.

I smoked outside the maternity hospital when I was almost 7 months pregnant, I'd given up as soon as I'd found out I was pregnant but my babies heartbeat had stopped and I'd been induced.
My baby was dead inside me and I'd been in the hospital maternity unit for 30+ hours waiting for my waters to break, I asked my mum for one of her cigarettes and smoked it, I'd say don't judge.

maz

Women who smoke during pregnancy are not the anti christ.

There are lots of women with similar experiences Ellie I'm sorry for your loss and I cannot imagine how you or someone else going through the same would feel if somebody came up to you and had a go at you for it. It's horrible to read insults hurled towards vulnerable women who could be going through anything.

If there is a sign in a hospital saying 'No smoking' then there should be no smoking. It's about time people were fined for this sort of behaviour like they can be for littering. They are both pollutants of a disgusting nature. There should be some cold, sad corner of the car park they can go to if they need to smoke- bad news or otherwise. I suggest smokers should have to wear a helmet so all fumes are consumed by them and no one else and I don't care what anyone on here thinks because that is my opinion. .

and I don't care what anyone on here thinks because that is my opinion

Well, I suppose that resolves the entire thread then. No no need for anyone to comment further - the ultimate arbiter has spoken. Everyone ssh now.

If the poster who smoked throughout pregnancy was saying she knows it was wrong and she'd never do it again.....I would have more understanding. But she isn't. She in fact seems inexplicably proud. I can't get my head round that attitude

Im neither proud or non proud. Im a smoker, my forefathers were smokers. Im just purely stating I smoke and saying that smokers are not the antichrist that we are made out to be by very judgemental people.

Thank you remy
I've two beautiful baby girls now and am finally smoke free!

Someone said ''Hang on. You saw something morally reprehensible and you didn't say anything? And you expect praise on AIBU for that? Pathetic.

At the very least you should have tutted, given her a filthy look and stormed off saying: 'Discusting' very loudly.

That's what I always do''

LOL Bit like me, I always judge people that spell disgusting wrong. If you're spelling it wrong, you're saying it wrong.

My SIL smoked in pregnancy, at the end, despite it being banned on the grounds her midwife asked her to stay by the bench at the door because she preferred her close by.

It happens.

Hell yes I would judge. And throw her a filthy look. That is just unbelievably selfish. Quitting smoking is not impossible, clearly.

@silverbell64 while it is never nice to have people looking down their noses at you, people are judgemental of pregnant smokers with pretty good reason. The forefathers thing that you said is pretty pathetic to be honest, you are in charge of your own actions, and you make your own decisions, for better or for worse.

My forefathers smoked. As a result my sister and I loathe it.

HTH

It's an irony-free zone tonight.

If you're going to give people spelling lessons Rachie1973, best get your adverbs straight. It's wrongly, not wrong.

You can't keep your baby indoors for ever, there is pollution everywhere in the air on every street