To judge this woman?

[moralberyll]

Leaving the local maternity unit today and a heavily pregnant woman who is obviously a patient as she was wearing a dressing gown, slippers and pyjamas was standing right near the doorway smoking a cigarette, there is a big sign up saying 'no smoking on campus'. Aibu to judge her that she is not only putting her own baby at risk but she wants to put other people's baby's at risk from secondhand smoke as well? I would definitely have said something if i were leaving the unit with my newborn baby!

If there was a no smoking sign, she shouldn't have been smoking there. It's hard for people who smoke who end up in hospital though.

You can have an opinion but shouldn't kudge her.
There are lots of women who do smoke during pregnancy even today knowing the risks. It is her choice I'm afraid.
When I had my eldest the ante natal clinic had a smoking room for patients and so did the Labour wards. I shudder at the thought now.
Stop over worrying...There's not much good your worrying will do.
Make a complaint to the hospital...although I am sure most know this happens and turn a blind eye. They advise, not dictate to mums to be.

Well you can but it won't achieve anything other than making yourself feel all warm and fuzzy with smugness for clearly being a better human being than her

I'd love to know what people get out of announcing their judginess to others. Does someone stamp a judges points card for you? Do you get a free coffee in costa?

Judge! Not kudge!

Just because you're fine, doesn't mean everyone else is silver. Some people are very weak. But perhaps smoking round them would do some good eh? Wheedle out to weak ones!

Each to their own, really.

I think all you are getting from judging her is anger. Your own anger, over what someone else is doing, who (probably) doesn't give a rats arse about what you think.

It's such a waste of effort, thinking time and tbh, to come home and write a thread about if you're being unreasonable or not is kinda lame. We can't change your thoughts or opinions. You didn't actually say anything so there isn't a real AIBU. We can't stop what goes on in your head.

No she probably shouldn't be smoking, and yes she could probably move away but she is and she didn't, so what are hoping to achieve holding onto annoyance/anger/irritation of a woman who you don't know?

You could have stopped, asked her to move, pointed out the sign ect and she may have given you a perfectly valid reason! Doubtful in this situation, but you don't know unless you ask.

I think focus on bigger things and live and let live. Say something at the time or not at all.

Quite User.

"What about premmies that might be leaving with sensitive lungs, fuck their rights to a smoke free environment as well then because after all 'your body, your choice hun'."

Those premmies that are being taken out into the street with all the car fumes, smoke from wood burning stoves, pollution from industry, etc.?

You mean those premmies and their right not to breathe in the results other people's choices?

Well yes it would be nice if they had cleaner air to breathe. Yes, it would be better if the woman you saw wasn't smoking right by the entrance. No, it isn't pleasant to have to walk through it. But to single her out as an abuser of babies when the whole of our society adds to that load all the time is unreasonable and irrational.

You can judge her all you like in your own head, most people will. Not your business to intefere though, and whether people like it or not it actually is her body her choice.

I'd judge away. But in my head. I judge most of the maternity waiting room when I'm in there tbh.

Waste your energy hating on a stranger who has nothing to do with you if you like OP. Gather up all that outrage and moral indignation and nurture it to your heart's content.

But BoomBoom smoking is the biggest cause of serious illness and death in this country so not actually comparable 🙄

But BoomBoom smoking is the biggest cause of serious illness and death in this country so not actually comparable

Death and illness to smokers. Not passers by.

I wouldn't judge. It's very addictive and if she's pregnant and in hospital she's obviously under some stress.

A waft of cig smoke on the way out of hospital isn't going to tar a newborns lungs.

YANBU. When mum smokes baby smokes, too. You wouldn't give a cigarette to a baby, so. Why to an unborn.

However. Who am I to say anything.
I've thankfully never smoked so never dealt with smoking addiction.
I doubt any mum to be wants to smoke.

Hang on. You saw something morally reprehensible and you didn't say anything? And you expect praise on AIBU for that? Pathetic.

At the very least you should have tutted, given her a filthy look and stormed off saying: 'Discusting' very loudly.

That's what I always do

m0therofdragons

Smoking at the entrance of a hospital is not the biggest cause of serious illness and death and preemie babies. Habitually polluted air can have a serious impact on children's health, but very occasionally walking through a cloud of (foul and unpleasant) cigarette smoke is not really a contributor.

Plenty of people who have little education, a rough upbringing etc do NOT smoke.
And plenty of people who have had a wry easy life DO smoke.

Saying that we should all be kind to her because we know nothing about her life and how hard it has been is patronising actually. It basically says that to smoke whilst pregnant, you have to have a rough upbringing

Honestly when my daughter was premature and I was trekking backwards and forwards to special care visiting her everyday I saw lots of pregnant women smoking outside and I did feel a little fucking very judgmental but I was emotional.

In reality as others have said I knew nothing about their situation. We all have the information about smoking in pregnancy. What people choose to do with that is their business

Morally reprehensible? Oh get a grip Ive lost count of the people that pretend they don't smoke. Funny enough when the booze comes out so do the fags, or worse fag cadging.

As for the smoking addiction, yes smoking is an addiction but a hell of a lot of women do manage to stoop as soon as they know that they are pregnant.
Because they out the health of their baby first.
And that, even though the first few weeks are hard, it's enough of an incentive. I'm more at loss as to why some or a lot of those women then start smoking again after 8 months

More anecdotal evidence at the opposite end of the spectrum from Silver

My mum smoked like a chimney. I was in and out of the ENT clinic all through my childhood. My sister has chest problems and requires an inhaler.

I'm surprised at the number of posters defending the pregnant smoker. I watched my mum die horribly from a smoking related disease. I judge anyone who smokes, especially those who take up smoking in the full knowledge of the health consequences.

Looks really tacky. Before you even get started on the moral or health aspect.

Pen do you mean that all the people who are smoking are doing so because they've had some hardship of one sort or the other?
Really?
Nothing to do with starting when a teenager to be part of the gang, because it looks cool or just to experiment?

Nope they are all people who have gone such difficult times thatbthey cannot cope wo a cigarette.

Come on! We know it's not the case.