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To feel hurt that DP is going on a couples holiday without me because I can't afford it?

(1000 Posts)
LeafyCulprit Sat 22-Jul-17 18:23:50

Been together 5.5 years now. Lived together for 3.5 of those. Relationship really good in all areas (That is the truth, honest) and we are very happy the majority of the time.

So as not to drip feed, DP is a high earner, takes home a v good wage, earns 3 x my salary and (for some reason) has disclosed to me that he has £80,000 in savings sitting in the bank. (I knew he had a fair amount of savings, but not that much)

Anyway, each year our group of 4 couples tend to holiday together. (They are all high earners really) I've never not been able to afford it before and so we have always gone.

There was a message from the 'organiser' of our group on the group whatsapp chat a few weeks ago, wanting to book a pretty expensive holiday together in February. Everyone agreed, I looked at it and just know I'm not going to be able to afford it. I'm really struggling with money at the moment and have a lot to pay out for on the next few months, then we'll have Christmas etc.

I hadn't had a chance to speak to DP properly about it but did say, out loud when the text came through that I wouldn't be able to afford to go. He didn't say anything.

He's just informed me that they're 'booking the holiday next week' and he'll be going without me seeing as I can't afford it.

AIBU to feel hurt? I feel like after 5.5 years we should be a partnership and I know 100% that if I had £80,000 in the bank in savings, I would pay for my partner to go on a £1,200 holiday, even if they paid me back in instalments (which I wouldn't want)

I just feel embarrassed as everyone else is going and I know that's life and you can't expect to be able to do everything, but if it was the other way around, I'd just sit this one out of pay for him to go if I could afford it, rather than spend a week away with 3 other loved up couples on my own.

I know this is going to come across as grabby and I promise I'm not, I pay my equal share for all household expenses and bills. For me it's just about kindness sad

Booboobooboo84 Sat 22-Jul-17 18:25:27

I actually don't think that's grabby at all, it's a couples holiday so I would presume you would pair up to go.

Have you said to him you'd love to go and asked whether you could pay him back?

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 Sat 22-Jul-17 18:26:12

He sounds like a complete and utter shit

thanks I'm sorry

RestlessTraveller Sat 22-Jul-17 18:26:35

I'm all for paying your own way but this is ridiculous. He's so well off and you've been together for 5 years.

He's a selfish prick. LTB.

AlistairSim Sat 22-Jul-17 18:26:40

That's not much of a partnership, is it? He sounds really mean.

I really hope you're not planning to have children with him.

CoughLaughFart Sat 22-Jul-17 18:26:46

It seems odd to me after nearly six years to be so set in the pattern of 'your money and my money'. I'd offer to pay in his shoes.

MatildaTheCat Sat 22-Jul-17 18:26:53

YANBU. That's crap and would make me very cautious about any future together. You only have to read threads on here about women having DC with men who are stingy with money and it makes them very vulnerable indeed.

ImperialBlether Sat 22-Jul-17 18:26:58

That is really horrible of him and to be honest, I'd leave him over it. I wouldn't threaten I was going to leave and hope he'd pay, either. He has shown you exactly what you mean to him. He would rather go on the holiday without you than pay a relatively small amount for you to go, too.

This man isn't your friend. He doesn't have your back. Don't even think about having children with him.

TheQueenSnortsAvocados Sat 22-Jul-17 18:27:39

You don't sound Granby, and your mates are going to think he's a bit of a shit.

TheQueenSnortsAvocados Sat 22-Jul-17 18:27:56

*grabby. Obvs.

BlessYourCottonSocks Sat 22-Jul-17 18:28:01

I think this is awful OP and I'd be ending the relationship, I'm afraid. You don't come across as grabby at all - but your DP clearly doesn't see you as his partner at all - there is nothing equal about this. A decent person would have paid for your holiday because they would have wanted you to go with them.

MaisyPops Sat 22-Jul-17 18:28:33

It doesn't sound grabby at all.
It's one thing to choose separate finances (I'm very live and let live on that. I'd hate to have one joint account), but it's another to not share.

I would be re-evaluating the relationship over this because he seems too bothered about himself and his money than spending time with you.

Without sounding harsh, part of me worries that as soon as he finds a 'high earner' who he likes, he'll drop you and then Mr and Mrs high earner can both do other expensive things with other high earners.

IStoleDipsysHat Sat 22-Jul-17 18:28:38

He's a twat. Imagine if you had a child would he be expecting you to still contribute as much to the house despite your drop in income and cover for all the childs needs because (as this always turns into) you wanted the child despite the decision having been a discussion?

Allthebestnamesareused Sat 22-Jul-17 18:28:41

Also I hope you are not paying an equal share but a propionate share based on income. I wouldn't refer to him as. 'D'P

peaceloveandbiscuits Sat 22-Jul-17 18:29:17

Surely your friends are going to be questioning why he hasn't paid for you or sat it out with you?

ijustwannadance Sat 22-Jul-17 18:29:53

I think that's a really shitty thing to do after 5.5 years and living together.

EllaHen Sat 22-Jul-17 18:30:00

What kind of a number has he done on you that you think you are being grabby to want to go on holiday with your partner of 5 years that you live with?

Jesus Christ.

Ameliablue Sat 22-Jul-17 18:31:09

After so long living together, it is poor behaviour from him

MumIsRunningAMarathon Sat 22-Jul-17 18:31:24

He must be secretly paying for both of you

I can't believe the alternative I'm afraid

Jessicabrassica Sat 22-Jul-17 18:31:44

Will he not have to pay a significant surcharge going as a single - it may be list to what you would pay to go!

isseywithcats Sat 22-Jul-17 18:32:10

yanbu as you have lived together for 3.5 years and he earns a lot more than you its a bit mean spirited of him not to pay for you this once, my other half earns 11 times what i earn and if he had picked a destination that i couldnt afford he would pay for the holiday for both of us without even thinking about it, in fact last year thats exactly what he did do i just provided enough spending money for myself

Mrskeats Sat 22-Jul-17 18:33:03

This can't be real surely?????

OwlinaTree Sat 22-Jul-17 18:33:11

He sounds tight with money to me. Is he paying three times as much as you for all the bills and household expenditure? He should be imho to split things fairly.

Unless he pays for everything and you just fritter all your cash away?

Fruitcorner123 Sat 22-Jul-17 18:33:18

I agree with other posters that's crap of him. He could easily afford to pay for you and surely your company on the holiday would mean a lot to him.

As you say you could pay him back in instalments but what partner would want that?

He's shown his true colours and believe me this would return as an issue if you had kids together.

user1479265923 Sat 22-Jul-17 18:33:28

It sounds like it's not a proper relationship if he is willing to go without you. It's a horrible thing to do. You are either a couple or you're not. Are you happy in other aspects of your relationship? I don't think I could be with someone who did this to me. I'm sorry flowers

Changerofname987654321 Sat 22-Jul-17 18:33:52

You definitely need to think about how your finances will work in the future and if you have one together.

ImperialBlether Sat 22-Jul-17 18:34:12

In your home, do you each pay 50-50? Are you renting or on a mortgage?

pastafairy Sat 22-Jul-17 18:34:17

Please sit him down and have an adult conversation about your future together. What does he envisage? Kids? You being a SAHM? Buying a house? Marriage? If after all this time you're not sharing finances does he ever see that changing? His answers really don't matter, it's whether they align to your aspirations or not. Good luck - the conversation with either make or break you x

Katiekatie37 Sat 22-Jul-17 18:34:23

Have you not said anything about it and if not why not ? Do you go 50/50 on the house?

He sounds like a tight bastard and I would be seriously angry over this would even consider leaving.

PurpleDaisies Sat 22-Jul-17 18:34:24

That's awful and tells you clearly what he thinks of you and the relationship. I'd be off.

Do you have kids together? Have you ever discussed marriage?

Zoeee88 Sat 22-Jul-17 18:34:30

I think you should definitely talk to him about it. You say your relationship is good in all other ways, so a conversation about it may be awkward, but shouldn't be impossible. I think he has behaved shittily, but it could be that because you simply said you couldn't afford it, he didnt realise you'd like help to pay for it? If you don't say something, I think it will fester with you. You definitely ANBUthough

JennyWoodentop Sat 22-Jul-17 18:34:43

I think it really depends where you are in your relationship and where you see it going. In the early days I think a high earner shouldn't necessarily be expected always to subsidize the lower earner all the time - but you've been living together 3 1/2 years - so not early days.

If you're thinking it's nearly time for joint finances/marriage/children etc then I would be worried about being financially vulnerable during maternity leave if he won't share HIS money rather than seeing it as family money - so his attitude to the holiday may be a warning sign of things to come.

If you're nowhere near that stage of your life then it may not be an issue.

I wonder though if you are at different places with all this - him feeling he's young, unattached, earning lots of money that he can spend as he chooses with no one else having a claim on it, and you thinking more about this being a partnership and joint spending..... are you ready for that conversation and to think about what to do if it doesn't go the way you hope?

MadameJosephine Sat 22-Jul-17 18:34:49

What a twat! I'm afraid I agree with a PP, I would genuinely consider ending the relationship due to his attitude. It doesn't bode well for your future together

MagnumAddict Sat 22-Jul-17 18:34:58

I'm all for retaining a bit of financial independence and DH and I have separate bank accounts as well as a joint account for bills.

However we don't have separate lifestyles and if he needed cash or I did we would transfer without giving it a second thought. It's the equivalent of him sitting eating steak when all you can afford is chopped pork. Completely bizarre to me.

I'm sorry OP it must be really hurtful and I can only imagine embarrassing when you see the other couples next.

Is there any reason for him to think you'd be offended if he offered the cash? <clutching at straws>

GodIsDead Sat 22-Jul-17 18:35:34

This man is a douchebag. The fact that he would go without you and not even offer to pay your way says all you need to know. The future looks grim if you stay with him. This is a deal breaker.

blue25 Sat 22-Jul-17 18:35:45

Sorry, but that really doesn't sound very promising in regard to the state of your relationship. This would really hurt me and I too would feel embarrassed. Why does he want to go on holiday with 3 couples without you? It's odd.

ChasedByBees Sat 22-Jul-17 18:35:56

I don't think this paints him in a positive light at all either OP.

pudcat Sat 22-Jul-17 18:37:05

I really hope you are not going to spend the rest of your life with man. He is so selfish. And why would he want to go and play gooseberry with 3 other couples? Per haps he already has another partner lined up.

inkydinky Sat 22-Jul-17 18:37:15

With those savings and a large salary he can easily afford it. There are two reasons he is not paying for you. 1) he has an issue with no subsidising you (not a good sign in a long term relationship) or 2) he doesn't want you to go enough to pay for you. Both are shitty in a relationship of that length and don't bode well for the future. I'd be rethinking it in your shoes.

SolomanDaisy Sat 22-Jul-17 18:38:02

Do not have children with this man. Also reconsider these friendships, most people would think it v strange that he would go on a couples holiday alone because his 'partner' can't afford it.

paxillin Sat 22-Jul-17 18:38:30

Unless he secretly paid for both of you and wants to surprise you, I'd LTB.

MorrisZapp Sat 22-Jul-17 18:39:04

This doesn't make sense. Unless he's planning to cuddle in with one of the other couples, he'll be using a room on his own which could accommodate you anyway.

DingDongDenny Sat 22-Jul-17 18:39:44

That's not what love looks like. I'd be gutted

Flushedwithsomething Sat 22-Jul-17 18:39:48

Oh gosh YANBU at all.

PurpleWithRed Sat 22-Jul-17 18:41:07

Another vote for YANBU and maybe it's time to review the relationship.

ExcitingButScaryTimesAhead Sat 22-Jul-17 18:41:12

Talk to him first and ask him if he could help with your portion of the holiday cost.
I think there ismoee to it than just yhis holiday. Have you spoken about your long term plans for your relationship? It seems very separate at the moment - bar living together. How would it work if you get married/ have children - would he still want separate finances etc?

RainbowCookie Sat 22-Jul-17 18:41:46

My inlaws do this and they've been married for over 40 years, I find the whole thing completely bizarre. Do you really want that kind of relationship?
My DH wouldn't want to go on a couples holiday without me.

ExcitingButScaryTimesAhead Sat 22-Jul-17 18:42:12 more to it

Squirmy65ghyg Sat 22-Jul-17 18:42:19

Umm. What?!!?! That's not right. How selfish. You can do better OP.

numbmum83 Sat 22-Jul-17 18:42:54

I can never get my head around other people's situations when it comes to money . I've always been in relationships where one pays if they have the money and vice versa. Maybe coz I've never had a relationship where either of us has had savings as such so we've lived from wage to wage but if my ex had done this he would be going on holiday as a single man coz that's cruel to do to someone you live with . Fair enough, a holiday was booked before you got together , 3 months in to the relationship the 1 part of the couple goes away , not in this instance and I would be worried about a future with a man who could treat his girlfriend , of nearly 6 years , like this. Shocking actually.

RapunzelsRealMom Sat 22-Jul-17 18:43:10

Oh that's horrible of him. You are definitely not grabby.

From the moment we lived together, our money was 'our' money. Can WE afford this? Not, can I afford it?

I don't understand this way of thinking. He's mean, and certainly doesn't see you as his partner.

I'm sorry to say this but I would not stay with him

EssieTregowan Sat 22-Jul-17 18:43:25

How did you react when he said he was going alone?

Itsnotwhatitseems Sat 22-Jul-17 18:43:26

my guess is he will surprise you and say he has paid for you, I really cant believe a man who has been lovely for 5 years could bring this change in behavior overnight...really hope he has treated you as a surprise x

upperlimit Sat 22-Jul-17 18:43:30

I actually wouldn't talk to him about it. I'd sit tight and see how this plays out. People are full of words that amount to very little and I think we show our values in our behaviour.

If he goes on this holiday without any interest in facilitating your company, that's all I'd need to know.

WonderLime Sat 22-Jul-17 18:43:49

Was there an argument or did something happen before he announced that, as I just can't believe someone would be so cruel!

You are not grabby in the slightest and being in a relationship means supporting one another (financially and otherwise). I earn more than my DP, so each month I spend more than him on our couple's costs (bills, activities, savings - what ever it is that we share as a couple).

Not just that, but I absolutely couldn't fathom going on a couple's holiday without my partner. I'd miss him dearly.

I think you need to have a serious conversation about your future, because this should be raising alarm bells!

Crumbs1 Sat 22-Jul-17 18:44:00

It isn't a partnership.
Partners share and support each other. There is no his and mine.
He is mean and not committed to your relationship. Sorry.

ChristmasFluff Sat 22-Jul-17 18:44:03

I agree with previous posters. At 5 years in, a couples holiday should be 'we', not 'me'. Makes me wonder about the rest of your financial arrangements. I've been the person with no income, and the person with the most income, even in the same relationship. The aim is that neither feels disadvantaged, and both feel fairly done by - surely you are a partnership? He doesn't seem to feel that way. If he doesn't feel that way financially, does he feel that way at all?

EdmundCleverClogs Sat 22-Jul-17 18:44:31

Jeez, my partner can be tight but he wouldn't go on a couples holiday without me (nor me him)! I don't see how you could fully enjoy yourself, seeing everyone else paired up and you sat like Jonny-no-mates just because you'd chose a nice holiday over your relationship. Won't your couple-friends judge him?

Are you engaged or talked about marriage? Would he do this if you were married? This wouldn't bode well for me, I'd be wondering in what other ways my partner's selfishness would present itself in the future.

Notknownatthisaddress Sat 22-Jul-17 18:44:33

What a fucking nasty fucking shit. angry

I am very sorry for you OP. Wow! I mean, 5.5 years together and he does THAT?

If you have no ties to him (financial and kids etc,) and are still young, I would probably seriously consider leaving.

viques Sat 22-Jul-17 18:44:34

As the wise vipers say, if someone is telling you what they are like then listen. Meanness is a very unattractive trait in a partner.

DilbyGlipob Sat 22-Jul-17 18:45:21

Does he have an unlimited amount of annual leave? I'd be pissed off as much anything about him using half of his holiday for the year without you and without discussing it with you. Paying for things together and discussing how you use your holidays are normal things that couples do, I'd be very unhappy to be in this situation.

isadoradancing123 Sat 22-Jul-17 18:46:14

That would be a deal breaker for me. That's not a partnership

belmontian Sat 22-Jul-17 18:47:14

Unless there is a backstory about you constantly borrowing money and not repaying it then I would say that this would be a soon to be ex. A friend of mine was married to someone like this. He used to take the dc on holiday without her as when she was on mat pay she couldn't afford to go hmm He even tried to make out that it was a plus for her as then she would be able to catch up with the housework while they were away. Unsurprisingly they are divorced now!

gluteustothemaximus Sat 22-Jul-17 18:47:45

That's mean.

No way in the world would either me or DH treat each other like this. It's OUR money. We pool everything. No matter what the other one earns (we're both low earners though).

But, my god, if I earn't 80k, I'd be spending it on us. And I know DH would too.

Sorry, OP. He doesn't sound like a keeper.

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas Sat 22-Jul-17 18:48:05

I wouldn't be there when he got back.

And that might be the shock he needs to see what an idiot he's been, but I wouldn't count on it.

Katiekatie37 Sat 22-Jul-17 18:48:08

The other couples probably think he's a dick too and will hopefully tell him so.

feelingblue123 Sat 22-Jul-17 18:48:38

I'd be gutted if I were you. I've been with DP less than half that time and I know he'd find no pleasure in going away without me, likewise me without him. Is he generous and romantic at other times? Is there a particular reason why hes happy to go without you? (Ie is the holiday focussed around an activity or place that he loves that you're not not into?)

Didiusfalco Sat 22-Jul-17 18:48:45

Agree with everything being said here. You sound like a reasonable person, certainly not entitled. It speak volumes that he would happily go on this holiday without you. I think I've heard it said before on here - he's telling you who he really is - listen.

Billben Sat 22-Jul-17 18:48:45

Blimey, how horrid. If that was me, I would not beg him for the money (I'm too proud and would just let him go without me) but while he's gone I'd seriously re-evaluate my life with him and I would tell him that just before he leaves.

gluteustothemaximus Sat 22-Jul-17 18:48:52

He used to take the dc on holiday without her as when she was on mat pay she couldn't afford to go. He even tried to make out that it was a plus for her as then she would be able to catch up with the housework while they were away.

Oh. My. God.

Was so pleased to then read they are now divorced though grin

Pengggwn Sat 22-Jul-17 18:49:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lalalalyra Sat 22-Jul-17 18:49:25

Do you rent or have you got a joint mortgage? Do you split your household bills proportionally or 50/50?

Be very careful OP. MIL's sister and her partner work their finances like this - everything 50-50. After over 30 years together he is happily retired and goes off on holidays every other month. She still works pt at 72 to top up her pension and their lifestyles are incredibly different. The only thing keeping them "together" is that he wouldn't buy her out of the house and she couldn't afford to buy him out. It's very sad.

Pengggwn Sat 22-Jul-17 18:49:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GlitterGlue Sat 22-Jul-17 18:49:59

Fuck me, that's horrible.

On the plus side though, he's showing you what he's like. Whatever you do, don't have children with this man.

Crunchymum Sat 22-Jul-17 18:50:04

What is your financial set up?

Is this genuinely the first time he has been such a mean cunt?

kaytee87 Sat 22-Jul-17 18:50:22

That's awful! Surely he's booking for you too as a surprise. Your friends are going to think he's a twat. Make sure you reply to the message saying you'll have to sit this one out as you can't afford it. He'll make something up about you not getting holidays from work or something otherwise so he doesn't look tight.

This isn't a partnership, I don't think I could stay with someone like this.

happypoobum Sat 22-Jul-17 18:50:34

He sounds utterly awful - totally mean and selfish.

I would cheerfully wave him off, and move out whilst he is away.

This should be your wake up call. Take it.

Perfectly1mperfect Sat 22-Jul-17 18:50:34

If he goes without you, he's a total shit.

If you always have separate money, that's one thing, but he should either help you out or not go in these circumstances.

Bizzysocks Sat 22-Jul-17 18:51:29

The only way you could be U is if you have the same disposable income and you spend yours each month ie designer handbags etc and he saves his.

Even then I would ask he pays this once and then you start saving some of your money for future holidays.

But I'm guessing this isn't the case and he has a lot more disposable income than you therefore I think he is mean and should offer to pay.

What you you going to do?

QuackDuckQuack Sat 22-Jul-17 18:51:40

There are fairly regular threads on MN by women in relationships like this, but further down the road. They've ended up in debt because they are still paying half of the bills while on maternity leave. Or they are struggling to pay for the family shop while their DH spends a fortune on expensive hobbies. They've had warning signs earlier in their relationship like this holiday but either felt that was normal because that's how their parents behaved or thought that their partner loved them so couldn't/wouldn't be financially abusive.

OP - you've seen his true colours. Unless you want to live a life like this then it's time to reconsider the relationship.

Perfectly1mperfect Sat 22-Jul-17 18:51:42

And I agree with what happypoobum said.

GlitterGlue Sat 22-Jul-17 18:52:00

If I were one of the other couple on this holiday and heard this from the bloke on his own I'd have a permanent WTF face on for the rest of the holiday. They'll surely see him for the tightfisted fucker he is.

AlternativeTentacle Sat 22-Jul-17 18:52:31

bloody hell. since the day we moved in, we paid a proportion appropriate to our salaries, into a joint account and all holidays come out of this account. don't tell me he also insists on all bills being 50/50 rather than wage appropriate?

MrsPringles Sat 22-Jul-17 18:52:57


What a dick he is sad

fullofhope03 Sat 22-Jul-17 18:53:00

I agree with Mumisrunningamarathon. He must be paying (secretly) for you and is teasing you for a while?? I too just cannot believe the alternative.
And OP, you are NOT being grabby in the slightest!! How could you even begin to think such a thing? You sound absolutely lovely!
Please let us know how this pans out. Big HUG to you, xxx OOO

user7680 Sat 22-Jul-17 18:53:03

I'd dump him sorry...that's SHOCKING

Creampastry Sat 22-Jul-17 18:53:22

Leave the selfish git

DonaldStott Sat 22-Jul-17 18:54:00

Well what a tight bastard. You seriously want to spend your life with this man?

AloeVeraSeeYaCilla Sat 22-Jul-17 18:54:24

I'd be gutted if this were me. What a selfish wanker.

mummmy2017 Sat 22-Jul-17 18:54:52

I wonder if he has thought this through?
Going on a couples holiday as a single, he is going to be a gooseberry all the time and they may not want him to go again.

I think I would have paid for you, and not worried about it...

Brittbugs80 Sat 22-Jul-17 18:55:05

It's not grabby.

If it's 4 couples, that's 8 people. Is it £1200 per person? Do the others know your not going and will have to pay extra?

If so, I'd ask him why he's happy to pay extra but not to pay for you?

CalmItKermitt Sat 22-Jul-17 18:55:27

What an unpleasant man.

At least now you know exactly how much he values you and your company.

timeisnotaline Sat 22-Jul-17 18:55:30

I cannot believe he is lovely at all if he has genuinely done this, because this is complete self centred shit who doesn't genuinely care about anyone else at all behaviour.If one of my friends did this I couldn't hang out with them until they were honest with their poor partner and dumped them, as I'd assume none of my friends could possibly do this to someone they were in an actual long term relationship with. If I'd dump a friend over this imagine what I think of being the partner of this guy...

BewareOfDragons Sat 22-Jul-17 18:55:37


I hope he is also paying 3x as much towards the living expenses and bills!

Honestly? I wouldn't be there when he got back under the circumstances. If you couldn't get the time off work, that would be different. But if it's purely down to the fact that he has so much more than you do, yet 6 years in he still views it as your problem, then I would be out of there. I couldn't even begin to imagine having children with someone so mean and mine vs yours.


ofudginghell Sat 22-Jul-17 18:56:05

I'm waiting/Hoping op comes back to say he's surprised her and booked and paid for both of them hmm

BraveBear Sat 22-Jul-17 18:56:10

I'll join in with the choir - DO NOT have children with him. You'll join the ranks of women who try to get by on maternity benefit and savings while providing free childcare, cleaning, shopping and cooking. Financially tight easily turns into financially abusive.

AnyFucker Sat 22-Jul-17 18:57:24

You are neither a couple nor a partnership. At least in his eyes

For God's sake don't ever have kids with this bloke

LeannePerrins Sat 22-Jul-17 18:57:35

He sounds absolutely awful. Be thankful that he's shown you his true colours and run for the hills.

I honestly couldn't continue the relationship if he went without me. Miserliness is one of the most unattractive qualities possible.

Branleuse Sat 22-Jul-17 18:57:38

I'd be devastated at that. Is there any chance he has secretly paid for you and is just pulling your leg? Otherwise he is definitely a stingy tight fisted bastard

NikiBabe Sat 22-Jul-17 18:58:06

If I was in that position with a partner Id pay for them. Money wouldn't be a factor and tbh I wouldn't want to go without a partner on a couples holiday.

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