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To think this woman had no right to tell my son off

(664 Posts)
WobbleYourHead Thu 20-Jul-17 22:23:56

So we were in the car park of a supermarket often the subject of a MN thread when DS (9) had taken the trolley back to redeem the £1.
Being a bit of a monkey he was trying to put the trolley back "handle to handle" as opposed to slotting it in. I called across to him to put it in right which he did. In the meantime I jumped in the car and drove the short distance for him to get in the car.
As I approached a woman was telling him off saying something along the lines of he shouldn't have spoken to her like that....
I asked what he'd said and she said "He was being cheeky" so I questioned again what exactly he'd said & she just repeated that he was cheeky. So I told her she had no right to tell him off, she said she wasn't and the exchange went on for several minutes with her still refusing to tell me what he'd actually said!!
I asked DS again and basically she'd told him it wasn't nice for him to put the trolley back wrong so in return he'd basically repeated back "well that isn't nice" (her telling him) at which point she had a go at him!
AIBU to think that if she had an issue that the least she could have done was spoken to me but in the grand scheme of things there was absolutely no need for her to say anything to him at all?!

OP’s posts: |
originalbiglymavis Thu 20-Jul-17 22:27:20

I wonder what he said...

RestlessTraveller Thu 20-Jul-17 22:27:39

Your son was misbehaving, you weren't there and when somebody else said something he took the piss. I'd have said something to him too.

iamUberA Thu 20-Jul-17 22:27:55

A little confused but sounds like your son was rude to her??

kreme Thu 20-Jul-17 22:28:11

If a smart arsed 9 year old gave me some cheek I would have told him he was being bad mannered. Why are you so protective of his poor behaviour that no one else can call him on it?

If he was five I'd be with you. But at 9 I think he needs to learn some manners and take it on the chin when he is doing something wrong and an adult calls him on it.

toosexyforyahshirt Thu 20-Jul-17 22:28:43

I would imagine if she felt the need to say something he totally deserved it.

SpunBodgeSquarepants Thu 20-Jul-17 22:28:56

Hmm, I think the lady shouldn't have even said anything really, a kid messing with trolleys is hardly important. But on the other hand your DS should not have said that to her, doesn't show much respect.

Wolfiefan Thu 20-Jul-17 22:29:34

So he was arsing about with the trolleys and probably preventing her returning a trolley or getting one. Then he was rude.
But he was in the wrong? Um no.

MeanAger Thu 20-Jul-17 22:29:50

He was cheeky and he got called on it. Sounds about right.

YouTheCat Thu 20-Jul-17 22:30:01

Your ds was a cheeky little sod.

I'd be mortified if a member of the public had felt the need to pull them up on their behaviour.

khajiit13 Thu 20-Jul-17 22:30:08

Your DS was being silly with a trolley in a car park presumably surrounded by cars. I'd expect a 9 year old to know better than that. I'd have just called him into the car rather than carrying on with her TBH.

19lottie82 Thu 20-Jul-17 22:30:20

Wow. In case this isn't a reverse......

No sorry OP your son was blocking the trolley rack and leaving the trolley for some other poor soul to haul out and slot back in.
That's not "being a little monkey" in my book.

And it sounds like he was being cheeky!

Perhaps in future he will learn to do things properly instead of being a menace, and not give cheek to grown ups when they tell him what he was doing is wrong, when it obviously is.

LottieDoubtie Thu 20-Jul-17 22:30:22

He was rude and an adult pointed this out to him and then to you.

I think I'd be embarrassed and telling my 9 year old off in the car myself not having a second go at the stranger that's already had a 9 year old being cheeky to her.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Thu 20-Jul-17 22:30:40

he obviously took not one bit of notice at your telling off, so good for her for stepping up

and htf is she supposed to approach you when you are driving about the car park?

requestingsunshine Thu 20-Jul-17 22:31:11

Way to go OP. You've just given your 9 year old a green card to back chat other adults. Nice one. He'll be gem by the time he's 11.

BarbarianMum Thu 20-Jul-17 22:31:13

She doesn't need your permission or a permit to talk to your son. Or to tell him off. Doesn't matter if you like it, or he likes it - as long as she's not threatening or abusive she's free to address him. Welcome to the real world. hmm

BadPolicy Thu 20-Jul-17 22:31:30

YAB massively U. Its no wonder your child is rude.

LittleWingSoul Thu 20-Jul-17 22:31:36

He was misbehaving with no adult supervision in a public place and was then cheeky when called on it!
YABU, he'd get in trouble for answering back like that at school, too.

RestlessTraveller Thu 20-Jul-17 22:32:02

You realise she'll have walked away from your little outburst knowing exactly where your son gets it from.

Bluntness100 Thu 20-Jul-17 22:32:36

To be honest I've never understood the whole snow flake thing about kids. If he was being a little shit, which it sounds like he was, then fair enough to get told off.

Instead of saying the lady was wrong, focus on him instead, tell him to put the trolley back correctly in future and then people wouldn't comment to him.

Tofutti Thu 20-Jul-17 22:32:39

It takes a village to raise a child. If he was messing with the trollies, she was right to tell him off.

Was he still messing with the trollies when you were moving the car?

And he was in the wrong, so it was wrong of him to say 'Well, that's not nice'.

Ellisandra Thu 20-Jul-17 22:33:10

Your son is a smart arsed little shit and I'd be really disappointed if my daughter (a year younger) was cheeking someone like that.

You sent your child over without you! How can you say she should have spoken to you?!

You might think it was none of her business, but actually sounds like she gently reprimanded an unaccompanied child for pissing about with the trolleys. I think that's OK.

She probably didn't get into what he had said, because I bet it was clear from your demeanour that your little prince could do no wrong hmm

user1497480444 Thu 20-Jul-17 22:33:23

he was making a nuisance of himself with the trolleys, in an car park, with possibly traffic moving around, he was downright rude to an adult who corrected him.....

I'm quite shocked at his attitude, tbh. he sounds like a nightmare.

MrsPorth Thu 20-Jul-17 22:33:24

Your son sounds quite immature for his age ("monkey" behaviour is cute at 4 but tiresome at 9) but there was no need for her to get involved. Unless he gave her some lip first of course.

Donthate Thu 20-Jul-17 22:33:27

My ds would have been in big trouble if a member of the public had any reason to tell him off. He was messing about, then he was rude. He was quite rightly called on it and then you were rude to the woman in response.

This is exactly why children think they can get away with murder because their mum will stick up for them no matter what they have done. Ridiculous.

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