To think this woman had no right to tell my son off

[WobbleYourHead]

So we were in the car park of a supermarket often the subject of a MN thread when DS (9) had taken the trolley back to redeem the £1.
Being a bit of a monkey he was trying to put the trolley back "handle to handle" as opposed to slotting it in. I called across to him to put it in right which he did. In the meantime I jumped in the car and drove the short distance for him to get in the car.
As I approached a woman was telling him off saying something along the lines of he shouldn't have spoken to her like that....
I asked what he'd said and she said "He was being cheeky" so I questioned again what exactly he'd said & she just repeated that he was cheeky. So I told her she had no right to tell him off, she said she wasn't and the exchange went on for several minutes with her still refusing to tell me what he'd actually said!!
I asked DS again and basically she'd told him it wasn't nice for him to put the trolley back wrong so in return he'd basically repeated back "well that isn't nice" (her telling him) at which point she had a go at him!
AIBU to think that if she had an issue that the least she could have done was spoken to me but in the grand scheme of things there was absolutely no need for her to say anything to him at all?!

I don't even like the word cheeky for this.
Just downright rude.

So...

your son wad messing about with the trolley

You told him to stop

Which he obviously didn't in the time it took you to drive to him

Someone else pointed out to your (unsupervised) child that he shouldn't mess about

He then gave her mouth

....

I fail to see where you or your son are in the right??

He was rude, I am surprised that you think it's ok for a child to speak to anyone like that. I'd be fuming at my DS who is 9 if he spoke to an adult that way.

There is a lovely David Sedaris story about how years ago if a random adult told you off for doing something you shouldn't then you would get a telling of from your parents, however now the adult would get a telling off from your parents.

I would have told an unaccompanied child to slot the trollies in properly. His action would stop other trollies from slotting in. As a mum I would have apologised and and asked him to apologise rather than have the attitude of 'harmless fun'. A child (or an adult) shouldn't put his enjoyment over another person's inconvenience.

She only told him his behaviour wasn't nice. It's not like she beat him with a club. Personally, I'd have thanked her, then given him the hard stare for embarrassing me.

He was being naughty, then he was being rude. Then you were.

Poor woman.

If it was my child they would have had a mouthful in the car for not doing as they were told first time everytime. And then for being disrespectful to the lady.

It's unanimous OP

Yabu.
Most 9 year olds are cheeky, be grateful someone said it to him.
If you ask me that's why kids these days are so very naughty and entitled because parents get offended if anyone else tells their child off for misbehaving.

I'd be grateful and find it totally normal if other parents tell my children they weren't being nice in a nice enough way. But then I'm from a different country where all family members get involved.
I've actually had a mum giving out to me for telling her son not to throw balls into my face 😣😕

Eh?

So your DS mucking about with trolley

Lady says 'that isn't nice'

DS mimics back 'that isn't nice'

Lady tells him he shouldn't have spoken to her like that

If he was mimicking her and taking piss then yes she was right to call him on it.

At nine he's old enough to know it's rude to mimic / take piss out of someone. If he's arsed about with trollies it can make it difficult for other people to get them out (thinking of my arthritic parents here trying to lug a badly parked trolley out)

Are you sure he gave you full story what he said if he knew you were out of earshot when he was being lippy?

Erm he was cheeky and he was called on it?? I probably wouldn't have pulled him up on messing with the trolley but maybe the woman was in a rush and annoyed that she had to wait while he was fannying about.

You say 'little monkey', we're all thinking 'little shit'....

9 years old and mouthing off to strange adults and being allowed to do so and they adult given more mouth by said 9 year olds patent? imagine him at 13, 15 or 18 with that example.

Parent your children properly and no-one else will have to do it for you.

@Palomb

YASSSSSS. 👍🏻

Agree with everyone here OP. It sounds like you son was cheeky and rude.

The woman had every right to scold him.

If you're not going to bring him into line, SOMEbody has to.

YABU.

For a stranger to feel the need to intervene - you should be really embarrassed!

It takes a village to raise a child. We all have a public responsibility to educate and teach children manners.

So, you're one of those parents.

He wasn't messing with the trollies, he put it right the second I asked him to. He wasn't blocking her from getting a trolley as there are several rows of trollies. If he'd said anything so unacceptable then why didn't she just tell me what he had said when I asked perfectly politely in the first place. He wasn't "being a shit" or "pissing about" He was never out of my sight or earshot as the car windows were down.

Your son mimicked an adult who told him off for doing the wrong thing. He was initially misbehaving, he was then very rude.

YABU OP.

So you don't mind him being rude?

Love a unanimous AIBU.

Less so when the OP vanishes.

And I think yabu btw. We're talking a 9yr old child here who wasn't spoken to particularly harshly.
How times have changed. When I was younger I'd have probably been sent over to apologise to the woman. These days parents are apoplectic that someone has has a non pre-approved conversation with their child!