To think this woman had no right to tell my son off

[WobbleYourHead]

So we were in the car park of a supermarket often the subject of a MN thread when DS (9) had taken the trolley back to redeem the £1.
Being a bit of a monkey he was trying to put the trolley back "handle to handle" as opposed to slotting it in. I called across to him to put it in right which he did. In the meantime I jumped in the car and drove the short distance for him to get in the car.
As I approached a woman was telling him off saying something along the lines of he shouldn't have spoken to her like that....
I asked what he'd said and she said "He was being cheeky" so I questioned again what exactly he'd said & she just repeated that he was cheeky. So I told her she had no right to tell him off, she said she wasn't and the exchange went on for several minutes with her still refusing to tell me what he'd actually said!!
I asked DS again and basically she'd told him it wasn't nice for him to put the trolley back wrong so in return he'd basically repeated back "well that isn't nice" (her telling him) at which point she had a go at him!
AIBU to think that if she had an issue that the least she could have done was spoken to me but in the grand scheme of things there was absolutely no need for her to say anything to him at all?!

What a horrible rude child.

Sorry! Xpost. You're back. Apologies.

You realise she'll have walked away from your little outburst knowing exactly where your son gets it from

Indeed. And WTF is with driving to the trolley park to collect him?

If you allow your child to be rude then I'd have no problem telling both him and you off. Do you really think what he replied back was acceptable? If so, why?

If he wasn'the out of your earshot, you would have heard what he said.

I bet he's a joy at school.

I'm sorry but you not backing up the other adult in his situation is not doing your son any favours whatsoever. You know he was doing something wrong, you told him off yourself. You should have just said, I'm sorry he is being a monkey, I've had words and told him to get in. As it is you have come across as a permissive excuse maker, to a stranger but also to your son.

He was never out of earshot, but you don't know what he said to her?

OP said her 'cheeky' DS wasn't out of eye or earshot the whole time but didn't hear him giving cheek to the other adult?

Doesn't take a genius...

If he was never out of your earshot why did you have to ask exactly what was said?

How was he never out of your earshot, and yet you had to ask this lady - and him - what he said?

He was pissing about, and he was a little shit.

Good luck non-parenting your "monkey" through his teens.

He mimicked her. Of course she didn't want to tell you, she was probably embarrassed.

about" He was never out of my sight or earshot as the car windows were down.

So you were not looking where you were going whilst driving?? You were staring at your son the whole time?

You should know the full conversation then, plus wouldn't need her explanation

He was rude and will continue to be with a mum like you

He was never out of my sight or earshot as the car windows were down

Thats funny because in the OP you asked her several times what he said to her, because you didn't know.

How could she come talk to you? She would have no clue whether he was your child or bobs parked up at the other end if you weren't with him.

My 3 year old sometimes replies like your DS - but he's told by me/DP or whoever he is with to not be rude and to apologise.

Telling him it isn't nice to put the trolley back incorrectly on purpose (making it difficult for others to either get that trolley or return theirs) is hardly a telling off or not warranted. I think 'cheeky' starts wearing off at about the age of 3, it just becomes rude when they should know better

But he was messing around with them before you said anything? Causing extra bother for anyone using those trollies.
Honestly, that kind of backchat at nine isn't a great indicator for later on.

As above, why don't you know what he said if he was never out of earshot? If you were that close why did you drive to him? If he put it straight as soon as you said then what was the lady telling him off for in the first place?

Your son was rude, she had every right. Not what you want to hear but I'd not have said anything or even thanked her for telling him off

He can't have been spoken to too harshly can he? If he was in your earshot the whole time then you'd have heard what the woman said surely

I'm afraid you come across as one of those parents... The most important thing is that nobody dares tell him off, whatever he might be up to is irrelevant.

Wobbleyour head give your head a wobble.

She's the adult, he is the naughty child. He needs to learn to take his criticism and pipe down.

He was rude and being a pain in the arse and she had no idea where you were. And seriously, you drove to the trolley shelter to pick him up?!

Totally agree with the poster who says that little monkey by age 9, actually means little shit.

'Why didn't she just tell me what he said?'

I'm just trying to imagine myself being the other woman in this scenario. So, your child is being silly and says something rude, I tell him off, mother drives up and demands of me what he said. I think I would be flabbergasted at this, rather than an apology from the mother, and would be too embarrassed to repeat what he'd said. You put her on the spot which wasn't fair, ifyswim.