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What's a few minutes between friends

(591 Posts)
NottheWhiteRabbit Fri 26-May-17 21:12:10

I'm interested in people's view points on punctuality.

I'm generally on time for important things like work, interviews, and time critical activities like going to cinema or theatre etc.

But... for things like meeting a friend for coffee, soft play, walks etc, I would assume the meeting time as an approximate! I'm usually no later than about 10 mins. Is this very bad? I genuinely always aim to be on time but fate always conspire against me and I end up late for various reasons. But it could be because I'm more relaxed about the timing as it's only a leisure/ fun thing. Most of my friends are the same and we end up there about the same time anyway. If i'm the one on time, I'm also personally happy to go in on my own and get started on whatever we are doing or could wait at entrance or in the car. It becomes a problem when I meet a couple of friends who are obviously much more organised but are adamant to wait at the entrance of things, sometimes they're even early so they feel like they've waited a very long time! They do get a bit huffy. But I always text when I'm late, so in fact I'm 5/ 10 mins late but they've waited 20mins let's say, AIBU to think they don't get to be too pissed off?

Sirzy Fri 26-May-17 21:15:56

People being late without good reason pisses me off.

If I have arranged to meet someone at 7 then we are meeting at 7 not some point after that when you can be arsed arriving

dirtywindows Fri 26-May-17 21:16:43

YABVU
It's rude and inconsiderate to turn up whenever it suits you. It's not fate conspiring against you, it's you being selfish. I hate hanging around waiting for people who can't be bothered to be on time. It's just feels so disrespectful.

BetterEatCheese Fri 26-May-17 21:17:16

I can't bear it when people are late but my friends all seem to be of the same opinion as you. Hate it!

ZigZagIntoTheBlue Fri 26-May-17 21:18:01

Just be on time! You're effectively saying your fine is worth more than theirs. If you can do work stuff on time you could do it if you wanted, you just can't be arsed. Build in time for the 'universe conspiring against you' and get your arse there on time!

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Fri 26-May-17 21:18:39

Adult meet ups def on time.
When i have 4 dc in tow then maybe have to give me a few extra minutes!!
Less than 20 tho. Always!!

Kentnurse2015 Fri 26-May-17 21:20:10

Urgh! I hate late people! It just makes me think my time is less important than theirs! And now I have children to sort I get even more enraged. You agree a time. You stick to that time

Msqueen33 Fri 26-May-17 21:20:45

I hate lateness. Two of my three kids have Sen. One severely so and I'm never late.

arethereanyleftatall Fri 26-May-17 21:21:17

Yabu. It's so rude. You're saying 'my time is more important than yours' to them.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Fri 26-May-17 21:21:21

You say you can be on time for important things like work etc, but you're frequently late for your friends. Therefore you consider them as "not important"

mumtomaxwell Fri 26-May-17 21:22:01

It is the height of rudeness to be late!

ChicRock Fri 26-May-17 21:22:47

You are on time when you want or have to be, so the 'fates conspiring' to make you late is bollocks, you just can't be arsed making the effort for friends as you deem them not important enough.

caffeinestream Fri 26-May-17 21:23:20

YABVU, I hate it when people are constantly late.

Leave earlier. You can manage it for work, so you can manage it for your friends.

arethereanyleftatall Fri 26-May-17 21:23:24

And please don't assume it's because you're more 'relaxed' than others. No. you're 'ruder'.

MagentaRocks Fri 26-May-17 21:23:25

Yabvu. You can be on time for things you consider important which shows you don't consider your friends time as important. I hate lateness. It's rude.

MerlinEmrys Fri 26-May-17 21:25:00

Very rude!

Unless the meeting time is 'about x time' then be on time!

MrsTerryPratchett Fri 26-May-17 21:26:44

You are only being reasonable if you believe that your time is more important than their time. Which my exH did. One of the many reasons I split from him.

StripeyDeckchair Fri 26-May-17 21:26:57

I hate people who have this attitude towards meeting with friends it shows a total lack of respect for their time.

I have a friend like this and I always add half an hour on the time we agree to meet. On the one occasion she was on time she phoned me 5 mins after the meeting time asking where I was & when I'd arrive. I calmly told her that I had long ago got fed up of waiting for her as she was always late so now habitually arrived a 1/2hr after our meeting time and I'd be there in 20-25 mins.

Louiselouie0890 Fri 26-May-17 21:27:24

I have people all over the place with this sort of stuff. One turns up an hour early so I'm rushing trying to not make them wait (I need to learn to be ready an hour earlier than they state) one turns up when they can be arsed get out of bed. One is always late. I'm always early but only ten minutes at most.

RusholmeRuffian Fri 26-May-17 21:29:46

YABVU and rude. There's just no need to be late. As a PP said, the implication is that you think your time is more important than theirs.

Haliez13 Fri 26-May-17 21:30:47

I have seen thear arguments before! They never end well. I think there is a great divide between punctual and unpunctual and I try and avoid being friends with super punctual people now as it just isn't worth the manufactured additional stress.

caz323 Fri 26-May-17 21:34:18

Ooh, lateness <shudder>. Nope, am a stickler for punctuality whether it's professional or casual. I would prefer to turn up and wait til the agreed time If necessary. Can't do late at all.

DontTouchTheMoustache Fri 26-May-17 21:36:25

I have strong social anxiety so if my friends are late and I have to sit alone waiting for them it really upsets me and can spoil the whole.day. so personally yes I would hate this but perhaps in your friendship group that's not an issue. Or perhaps your friends have just twigged that they need to arrive 10 minutes later than planned because of your tardiness grin

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 Fri 26-May-17 21:36:54

YABVU. You should meet them at the time you will say you'll meet them.

They absolutely get to be pissed off if they've been waiting for you, regardless of whether you have informed them of that fact.

Gingernaut Fri 26-May-17 21:37:20

If there's a set deadline for something, early.

If it's a meet up for an evening, within 5 minutes either side.

If I'm going to be more then 5 minutes late, text, apologise and get first round of drinks in.

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