What's a few minutes between friends

[NottheWhiteRabbit]

I'm interested in people's view points on punctuality.

I'm generally on time for important things like work, interviews, and time critical activities like going to cinema or theatre etc.

But... for things like meeting a friend for coffee, soft play, walks etc, I would assume the meeting time as an approximate! I'm usually no later than about 10 mins. Is this very bad? I genuinely always aim to be on time but fate always conspire against me and I end up late for various reasons. But it could be because I'm more relaxed about the timing as it's only a leisure/ fun thing. Most of my friends are the same and we end up there about the same time anyway. If i'm the one on time, I'm also personally happy to go in on my own and get started on whatever we are doing or could wait at entrance or in the car. It becomes a problem when I meet a couple of friends who are obviously much more organised but are adamant to wait at the entrance of things, sometimes they're even early so they feel like they've waited a very long time! They do get a bit huffy. But I always text when I'm late, so in fact I'm 5/ 10 mins late but they've waited 20mins let's say, AIBU to think they don't get to be too pissed off?

I hate people being late, I know things come up and that's fine ... but I think just not caring is really rude.

For the majority of occasions I am scheduling something in between times, so someone being late really puts things out, especially if I've had to arrange someone to watch my kids or something and someone couldn't just be on time.

Plus I would feel very very self conscious sitting waiting for someone.

I'm usually early or on time but if i was going to be more than 5 minutes late I'd text.
I have a friend who is ALWAYS late, drives me mad. If we have to go anywhere and I'm driving (usually do as I don't drink) I tell her when I'm leaving home and she's been warned many times if she's not ready when i turn up at her house, I'll go without her. She knows i will do it as well so she's always ready, so why not the rest of the time?

To be fair if you don't want to be judged you don't come on to mumsnet aibu to ask!

I just don't get your comment about being more "relaxed" about timings... If you've agreed 8 o'clock, you generally assume the other person is on board with that; not relaxed enough to rock up when it suits them.
Would you be consistently late for work and assume it doesn't matter?

Nonstopdisco - ur fab username sums up why I was always late in my teens/ twenties but now it's three boys! Lol. God, id love a non stop disco and the energy to stay all night - looks wistfully back into the wild years!

The nicest, most decent, good-hearted woman I know is chronically late, and you're all going to miss out being friends with her!

Unclench, I say.

nicest, most decent, good-hearted

She isn't though if she chronically disregards others like this.

I'm always on time. Except I intentionally try to be later then any friends who regularly run late. One particular friend would always be 15 minutes late. I'd arrive on time and sat around on my own annoyed at her lack of organisation. So then I started arriving after her (20 minutes after the agreed time) and guess what, she chases me up the moment moment she arrives.

MikesJupp- a hearty hear, hear! Unclench indeed at uptight pps!

The big clue is in your wording. You are on time for 'important things like work' but not for meeting friends which by default you don't consider to be important. That's exactly the message I get if someone is consistently late to meet me - that they don't consider me or my time that important. Which is why YABU.

Up to 20 minutes is fine with me for meeting with friends. I have friends who are regularly half an hour to an hour late and that IS annoying and arrogant.

" intentionally try to be later then any friends who regularly run late. "

It doesn't work. They get wise to it and then start coming even later. The thing for those people is that they always have to arrive after you because they don't want to hang around waiting (but it's fine for you to do that).

I am amazed at this. Why do we have it so hard on each other. If it is a girly night out no kids in equation I understand and would say please be on time
But children poop when we are leaving house, they want to run around and it can be hard. But as females we criticise each other...
get real friends who understand parenting is children orientated and that may involve a puke or a poop at bad times ... but being a few minutes late .. get on with it

Wow relax a little ... it is supposed to be a fun get together, is 10 mins seriously going to ruin the day for some most of you? Especially as she mentioned it is places that you could head in a begin yourself... and she texts so is in contact so they know what is happing and can choose to carry on without her or wait. Sometimes i'm late, sometimes I'm early and wait for others ... who cares, relax and enjoy life.

My parents are always always late. I hate it!

You sound self absorbed. And rude.

How is it that people who "are more relaxed about timing" are always late. Surely if you "are more relaxed about timing" then it stands to reason that sometimes you would be early, but oh no, doesn't seem to work that way!

some of us are just a little more kooky

Um say what now?

Anyone can be caught unexpectedly by something out of their control. Those that simply can't be bothered to get organised are a bit of a bore

If I arrive within half an hour of the agreed time I class that as being on time. Obviously I text etc to let them know. But even within the hour is still a result for me sometimes. I am horribly unreliable and I hate it, its not fair to friends - its a habit I got into quite young, I think its a form of anxiety I can't follow a sequence of getting ready.

Haha, kooky!! Is that French for self absorbed?

Seriously, Staples? How did you ever hold down a job?

I don't mind if my friends are late. It's really not a high priority in a friend.

However u suppose it depends on the situation. 10 mins late when you only have an hour for lunch from work is really not on.

10 minutes late occasionally is fine. It happens. 10 minutes late every time is a bit rude. Half an hour late is bloody unreasonable and I would be really cross.

And it's not kooky, whatever that is supposed to mean. It's rude.