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That you don't ask guests to change their wedding outfit?

(668 Posts)
poopsqueak Sat 20-May-17 09:55:14

Got a phone call this morning from my brother (sheepishly) asking what I was wearing to his wedding.

I told him 'black dress' and asked why and he said his wife to be is worried ill either 'stand out' or 'fade into the background' and could I change it?

The wedding is in 2 weeks, I've had the dress for 2 months (no return period) and my mum (mother of the groom) has had the same call. My mum just said yes though. She had a navy pant suit that she had bought and went out and bought another pink dress to be more in theme.

I don't have an official part of the wedding though so i don't think I am messing up a theme. Also I got the dress as it was neutral and made me feel good. It was also £150 and I just can't afford another one.

What should I do?

MsJolly Sat 20-May-17 09:56:41

Wear the dress you have

MrsMeeseeks Sat 20-May-17 09:57:46

Wear it anyway! What a ridiculous thing to say.

SaltySalt Sat 20-May-17 09:58:20

Bloody well wear it! If they were that bothered they wouldn't be questioning outfits two weeks before the wedding.

greenworm Sat 20-May-17 09:58:53

I think you should just explain exactly what you've said, and wear the dress you've bought.

Why do you think his fiancée cares so much? Genuine insecurity or just being controlling / trying to cause an upset?

KC225 Sat 20-May-17 09:59:37

I am stunned. Wear the dress you have. What a nerve.

DoItTooJulia Sat 20-May-17 10:00:34

She'd say that no matter what you said you were wearing from the sounds of it.

Did they have a clue as to what you were planning to wear?

KC225 Sat 20-May-17 10:00:53

And buy your brother a set of luminous bike balls from firebox.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Sat 20-May-17 10:01:01

People treat wedding guests weirdly.

I think the word 'guest' should be changed to 'puppet' or 'invited hostage'.

Or maybe just 'prop'.

LoveMyLittleSuperhero Sat 20-May-17 10:02:19

You aren't part of the wedding, they didn't tell you they had a "dress code" for you before you went shopping (should have come with the invitation). You've bought a neutral dress that makes you feel good and it's hardly like you're wearing ivory lace.

Wear the dress.

If you really want to do something to appease bridezilla could you accessorise with pink so you are a little in theme?

Siwdmae Sat 20-May-17 10:03:30

Bridezilla! Tbh, I would not be happy with a black dress on a guest if it's plain black.

poopsqueak Sat 20-May-17 10:03:51

I think she is just that type. Likes to have every detailed planned to an inch of its life. Bought her dress a week after they got engaged hmm she gets very stressed out if things are not 'just so' (in real life and wedding life)

But I do get that she's nervous just think this is a weird thing to be worried about.

I'm just going to wear the dress I guess but might get a pink headpiece or shoes to fit with the theme. I reckon that's fair?

Dishwashersaurous Sat 20-May-17 10:05:34

It is unusual to wear an all black dress to a wedding though.

Not saying that you shouldn't wear it but superstitious people would say that it's bad luck etc

poopsqueak Sat 20-May-17 10:06:19

Siwdmae- that's interesting, why wouldn't you be happy with a black dress on a guest?

Ladyformation Sat 20-May-17 10:06:26

What the hell?! Wear what you like as long as it's appropriate for any dress code sent out in the invitation. What totally strange behaviour from the bride and groom...

TheChineseChicken Sat 20-May-17 10:06:32

I was going to suggest getting an 'on theme' accessory as a concession

LineysRun Sat 20-May-17 10:07:42

I think a massive, massive pink hat should do it.

Trb17 Sat 20-May-17 10:08:35

Wear the dress you've got.

Buy your brother a set of balls.

poopsqueak Sat 20-May-17 10:09:11

Might buy one of those Pom Pom headbands you see at festivals and wear that 😃

kel1493 Sat 20-May-17 10:10:39

I thought that black to a wedding means you are against the wedding though..

kel1493 Sat 20-May-17 10:10:58

That's what I've always heard anyway

Fairenuff Sat 20-May-17 10:11:12

ill either 'stand out' or 'fade into the background'

What does this even mean anyway? How can it be so different/unusual that you would stand out, yet at the same time so bland/indifferent that you'll not be noticed? confused

And what has it got to do with her anyway. Why does she care whether you stand out or not?

Either ignore or tell him you're wearing what you want so get over it.

RedGrapeCornSnake Sat 20-May-17 10:12:43

I wouldn't be happy with plain black on a wedding guest either. It's too funereal.

Having said that my MIL wore black to me and DH's beach wedding, it felt like she didn't wish us well, which echoed her behaviour before and after the wedding, so I'm aware my opinion is clouded!

CotswoldStrife Sat 20-May-17 10:13:51

Did you know that the wedding had a theme?

Starlighter Sat 20-May-17 10:14:39

Traditionally it's bad manners for women to wear black to a wedding, but I don't see a problem with it, people wore black at my wedding, it was fine!

Maybe the bride is having a temporary bridezilla moment! Could you pretend to compromise just to keep the peace for your brother's sake - say you can't return the dress and it was expensive but you will use lighter accessories, such as a pashmina, shoes, etc.

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