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Transing a 4 year old

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ShadowChancellor Fri 24-Feb-17 09:10:07

On Monday, all the children at my kids school were taught about being transgender because the parent of a reception kid have decided that X is actually Y and are now sending their kid in as the opposite sex and have changed their name.

According to my kid they were shown a video that was all about how if you were a boy and liked girl things and girl clothes you were a girl and it was all very positive.

No parents were told before this happened. We only found out when the kids came out of school on Monday and told us.

AIBU to a) think that transing a kid at 4 years old is more to do with the parents not liking the fact that their kid prefers girls toys to boys toys and b) that the other parents should've been told before they showed our kids this film and promoted it all in school.

Its caused a lot of confusion with the younger kids who think you can change whether you are a boy or girl just by wishing it and didn't mention at all all of the problems that it can cause.

Amandahugandkisses Fri 24-Feb-17 09:11:59

4 years old?!
This is bordering on insanity.

HarryTheHippo Fri 24-Feb-17 09:12:10

I wouldn't have been happy if this was my school. My duaghters school did a pshe session on differences between male and female and pointed out that girls and boys could do football, climb trees, like pink. Etc. I was impressed.

mumofmunchkin Fri 24-Feb-17 09:12:51

YANBU
That's insane

Babybubblescomingsoon Fri 24-Feb-17 09:13:17

That is tricky. Children that age are too young to understand what it really means so yes... i think it should have been discussed with parents first as it can cause serious confusion later on...

ShadowChancellor Fri 24-Feb-17 09:14:03

They were basically told that X only likes playing with girls and girls toys and liked dresses, so they were really Y and now were a girl.

DearMrDilkington Fri 24-Feb-17 09:14:13

Yanbu, that's ridiculous. It's damaging behaviour, a 4yr old isn't able to make that decision and the parent shouldn't be encouraging it at this point.

titchy Fri 24-Feb-17 09:14:15

Why on earth didn't the school call social services?

Idrinkandiknowstuff Fri 24-Feb-17 09:14:18

Absolute fucking madness.

BridgeRiverTower Fri 24-Feb-17 09:14:28

I would not be happy with my DC being shown that video at that age. At all.

As for transitioning at 4, I wouldn't have a clue about it or an opinion but I absolutely would want to vet any videos and be included in the discussion about how this will be framed to my DC.

DearMrDilkington Fri 24-Feb-17 09:15:05

I'd be furious with the gender stereotype shit they are going on about as well.

titchy Fri 24-Feb-17 09:15:30

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CigarsofthePharoahs Fri 24-Feb-17 09:15:40

Well all a video like the one you describe I'd going to do is confuse the crap out of a lot of kids.
Both my boys like a whole range of things, including things that are stereotypically "girly". I can imagine my 6 year old getting very puzzled by this.
Four years old is far far too young for this kind of thing. Just let them like what they like!

ProfessorFlead Fri 24-Feb-17 09:16:06

How interesting.

As you haven't revealed the sex of your own child, please could you tell me the name and location of the school?

IamFriedSpam Fri 24-Feb-17 09:16:10

I have to say I very much doubt this happened as you are saying. I don't think they would show a video that suggests liking "boys" or "girls" toys or clothes makes you actually a boy or girl respectively.

There was a 4 year old boy at my DS's old school who was absolutely adamant he wanted to be a girl. Fortunately there was no school uniform and he just came in fairly feminine clothes (leggings, pink tops etc.). It was never a big issue and caused no confusion amongst the children who couldn't really care less.

Astoria7974 Fri 24-Feb-17 09:16:34

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ShadowChancellor Fri 24-Feb-17 09:16:40

Apparently they took advice and were told to support by both support groups and the LEA.

So thats what they've done.

For a reception child. RECEPTION FFS.

ShadowChancellor Fri 24-Feb-17 09:17:29

I am not lying, I am a very very old MNer who has name changed for very fucking obvious reasons. Go report me to MNHQ if you don't believe me, but this happened and I am fucking livid.

Waterfeature Fri 24-Feb-17 09:18:02

Yes titchy.

Pigeonpost Fri 24-Feb-17 09:18:06

What?! That's batshit crazy.

IateallthePies654 Fri 24-Feb-17 09:18:10

It's abusive.

icanteven Fri 24-Feb-17 09:19:31

I know this thread is going to kick off in a big way, but it wasn't "all very positive" at all, was it. It tells girls that you are only a real woman if you love pink, My Little Pony and cuddly things. That if you want to play with lego, wear jeans so you can run around in stead of a fluffy skirt, or want to be an engineer (or any career deemed "unfeminine" - and watch, because this is going to get worse, not better), it's because you're not really a woman at all, you're a man.

Equally, little boys should only play with cars, guns and cars with guns on them, because otherwise they're obviously girls, and might as well cut their external genitalia off now and be done with it.

We used to tell children off for teasing other children for playing with "girls" or "boys" toys, and now instead we give "positive" talks to them about how they're not really the sex they thought they were and change their names and entire gender identities for it?

I hope that it won't be long before parents can be prosecuted for abusing the children in their care by fucking around with their gender identities while they are still minors. There are going to be a lot of angry young adults before long.

highinthesky Fri 24-Feb-17 09:19:54

I'm not defending the school in any way, but the staff probably anticipated the "trans" child to have been a target for bullying / social isolation so wanted to normalise it asap.

Schools now have dilemmas that we wouldn't have dreamed of just a decade ago.

AQuietMind Fri 24-Feb-17 09:20:17

I would be furious op and I would not be holding back on letting the school know about it tbh.

IamFriedSpam Fri 24-Feb-17 09:20:37

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