Talk

Advanced search

To drink brake fluid?

(272 Posts)
redisthenewblack Wed 17-Aug-16 15:50:15

I'm not addicted though, I can stop whenever I want.

grin

Anyone else got a favourite 'dad joke'?

pegomassive1 Wed 17-Aug-16 15:52:35

Oh my goodness I thought I would be coming on this thread to talk you down op!!!
Knock knock-
Whose there
Madam
Madam who
Madam foot stuck in the door...blush

VoyageOfDad Wed 17-Aug-16 15:54:32

Why does it take three women with PMT to change a light bulb ?

IT JUST F*CKING DOES OK !?!?*%#

DropYourSword Wed 17-Aug-16 15:55:34

What's gut two legs and bleeds a lot.

Half a dog.

doctoratsea Wed 17-Aug-16 15:56:08

knock knock
who's there?
Europe
Europe who?
No... You're a poo

SnakeWitch Wed 17-Aug-16 15:56:28

My Dad has loads and worryingly I'm starting to use them. If a drink is really fizzy he says 'that's passed it's physical(fizzical)' I nearly said it to a bar man recently!

iklboo Wed 17-Aug-16 15:56:50

Where do cows go for a night out?

To the moo-vies.

redisthenewblack Wed 17-Aug-16 15:57:18

doctoratsea

My DS will love that one!

WhatamessIgotinto Wed 17-Aug-16 15:58:52

doctoratsea I can't wait to tell DS that joke! grin

yorkshapudding Wed 17-Aug-16 15:59:17

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was too tired

redisthenewblack Wed 17-Aug-16 16:01:41

A favourite of my grandad:

If you pour whiskey on the garden you'll never have to mow the lawn ever again...The grass will come up half cut.

TroysMammy Wed 17-Aug-16 16:02:14

What do you call a donkey with three legs?
A wonky.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I-deer grin

PavlovianLunge Wed 17-Aug-16 16:03:09

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

meddie Wed 17-Aug-16 16:03:36

Whats brown and sticky

A stick

meddie Wed 17-Aug-16 16:04:34

What's pink and wrinkly and hangs out your underpants?

your mum

MachiKoro Wed 17-Aug-16 16:05:08

What's brown and sits at the bottom of the Starship Enterprise?

The Captain's Log

NE14T Wed 17-Aug-16 16:05:19

What did the cheese say when he looked in the mirror?

Halloumi!

Mookbark Wed 17-Aug-16 16:05:55

What do you call a dog on a beach?

A hotdog

Was DS2's favourite joke when he was about 3, would have him in fits of giggles every time.

redisthenewblack Wed 17-Aug-16 16:06:30

NE14T that joke is so cheesy, but I think it's grate! grin

NeedACleverNN Wed 17-Aug-16 16:07:04

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no i-deer

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no cock?

Still no fucking I-deer

ofshoes Wed 17-Aug-16 16:07:28

A woman came up to me and asked for a double entendre so I gave her one.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Wed 17-Aug-16 16:08:42

:Why did the chicken cross the SS the road?
:To get to the idiot's house.
-
:Knock knock
:Who's there?
:The chicken.

RealityCheque Wed 17-Aug-16 16:08:49

*What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I-deer*

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea!

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no penis?
Still no fucking idea!

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Wed 17-Aug-16 16:09:59

I have no idea what "the SS" has the do with the chicken confused

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now