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To drink brake fluid?

(272 Posts)
redisthenewblack Wed 17-Aug-16 15:50:15

I'm not addicted though, I can stop whenever I want.


Anyone else got a favourite 'dad joke'?

pegomassive1 Wed 17-Aug-16 15:52:35

Oh my goodness I thought I would be coming on this thread to talk you down op!!!
Knock knock-
Whose there
Madam who
Madam foot stuck in the door...blush

VoyageOfDad Wed 17-Aug-16 15:54:32

Why does it take three women with PMT to change a light bulb ?


DropYourSword Wed 17-Aug-16 15:55:34

What's gut two legs and bleeds a lot.

Half a dog.

doctoratsea Wed 17-Aug-16 15:56:08

knock knock
who's there?
Europe who?
No... You're a poo

SnakeWitch Wed 17-Aug-16 15:56:28

My Dad has loads and worryingly I'm starting to use them. If a drink is really fizzy he says 'that's passed it's physical(fizzical)' I nearly said it to a bar man recently!

iklboo Wed 17-Aug-16 15:56:50

Where do cows go for a night out?

To the moo-vies.

redisthenewblack Wed 17-Aug-16 15:57:18


My DS will love that one!

WhatamessIgotinto Wed 17-Aug-16 15:58:52

doctoratsea I can't wait to tell DS that joke! grin

yorkshapudding Wed 17-Aug-16 15:59:17

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was too tired

redisthenewblack Wed 17-Aug-16 16:01:41

A favourite of my grandad:

If you pour whiskey on the garden you'll never have to mow the lawn ever again...The grass will come up half cut.

TroysMammy Wed 17-Aug-16 16:02:14

What do you call a donkey with three legs?
A wonky.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I-deer grin

PavlovianLunge Wed 17-Aug-16 16:03:09

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

meddie Wed 17-Aug-16 16:03:36

Whats brown and sticky

A stick

meddie Wed 17-Aug-16 16:04:34

What's pink and wrinkly and hangs out your underpants?

your mum

MachiKoro Wed 17-Aug-16 16:05:08

What's brown and sits at the bottom of the Starship Enterprise?

The Captain's Log

NE14T Wed 17-Aug-16 16:05:19

What did the cheese say when he looked in the mirror?


Mookbark Wed 17-Aug-16 16:05:55

What do you call a dog on a beach?

A hotdog

Was DS2's favourite joke when he was about 3, would have him in fits of giggles every time.

redisthenewblack Wed 17-Aug-16 16:06:30

NE14T that joke is so cheesy, but I think it's grate! grin

NeedACleverNN Wed 17-Aug-16 16:07:04

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no i-deer

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no cock?

Still no fucking I-deer

ofshoes Wed 17-Aug-16 16:07:28

A woman came up to me and asked for a double entendre so I gave her one.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Wed 17-Aug-16 16:08:42

:Why did the chicken cross the SS the road?
:To get to the idiot's house.
:Knock knock
:Who's there?
:The chicken.

RealityCheque Wed 17-Aug-16 16:08:49

*What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I-deer*

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea!

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no penis?
Still no fucking idea!

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Wed 17-Aug-16 16:09:59

I have no idea what "the SS" has the do with the chicken confused

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