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Staying at in-laws with dc and there is no food

(961 Posts)
daytimemom Sat 11-Aug-18 16:30:17

Arrived at in-laws with DH (their son) and our two dc’s. For context, they are very well off. Live in huge house in the country, spend six months a year on cruises, have new car etc.

This is the first time we have visited them in their new house. Normally they stay at our house where we cook meals for them, provide wine and snacks and generally be very hospitable. They certainly enjoy all our food and drink.

This is what they served DH and I for dinner; two small roast potato’s, one small parsnip, teaspoon of peas and carrots, three slices of chicken. Our dc who are 11 and 12 had the same but with one roast potato rather than two. Dessert was one scoop of ice cream. DH asked if he could have another scoop but was told no as the carton (think Ben & Jerry’s small sized carton) had to last them a week.

By evening the dc were ravenous. I asked mil if dc could have a slice of toast or cereal. Was told they only had muesli and one small loaf of brown seeded bread. DC do not like either. I asked if there was any fruit was told no. DH asked if there was a bag of crisps, again no.

I’m not proud of this but DH and I went through the fridge and cupboards trying to find something to eat but the cupboards were literally bare.

DH went out this morning to buy some bread, cheese etc (which fil helped himself too) and I suggested to mil we go out to dinner but she insisted she is cooking. Dreading another tiny meal & the dc’s being hungry.

DH said they are just being tight by not spending money on food and drink. I quite frankly want to go home. Simple things like they knew we were coming but the bathroom had no towels or soap, no mirror or lamp in guest bedroom. Could they not have bought some cornflakes & snacks knowing most kids don’t eat muesli!

They have always been mean with money, poor DH as a uni student was penniless living off toast and pawning his stuff while his parents refused and financial assistance.

Mrskeats Sat 11-Aug-18 16:31:40

Can you go home or go to a hotel?

Cherubfish Sat 11-Aug-18 16:33:30

Some people are just like this. Next time bring snacks!!

Fairylea Sat 11-Aug-18 16:34:36

I think I’d either go to Tesco or whatever myself and just stock up on whatever you and the kids want and make a show of putting it away in the kitchen so they know you’re starving, or I’d just go home. I couldn’t stand to stay somewhere and just be hungry all the time, especially when there is no financial reason for it.

Lazypuppy Sat 11-Aug-18 16:34:54

Just go and stock up on snacks from teco or something?

Aprilshowersinaugust Sat 11-Aug-18 16:35:37

Order in pizza to the back door!! Sneak it upstairs!!

daytimemom Sat 11-Aug-18 16:35:48

But why would you invite your grandchildren to stay and not buy any food for them? They certainly love to eat and drink at our house so it’s not as if they don’t enjoy food!

DH caught his dad eating a hot cross bun in secret. He asked if he could have one but was told none lefthmm

IncrediblySturdyPyjamas Sat 11-Aug-18 16:36:25

Go home!

woodhill Sat 11-Aug-18 16:37:02

Can't DH say something

Charley50 Sat 11-Aug-18 16:37:55

Wow! This is nuts! Go and buy some food but don't let them have any.

Redteapot67 Sat 11-Aug-18 16:38:00

Your oh needs to talk to them - this isn’t acceptable.
If they can afford it they should be providing basic suitable food. They need to be told exactly what to buy - bread, milk, cereal, fruit etc.
if they aren’t willing to cooperate then next time stay in a hotel nearby and just visit at non meal times or meet out.

ShatnersBassoon Sat 11-Aug-18 16:38:12

You could have predicted this. Go out and buy some supplies.

AnneLovesGilbert Sat 11-Aug-18 16:38:20

They sound terrible shock

Are they both very thin?

I’d be going home now. How long are you scheduled to stay?

mimibunz Sat 11-Aug-18 16:38:23

My PIL were the same. Actually it was mostly my FIL who believes people should only eat one meal a day (but can drink into the small hours). Take snacks.

ohgodnotyouagain Sat 11-Aug-18 16:38:27

I'd be raging, especially if they enjoy your hospitality!

Honestly I'd go and do a big shop for the 4 of you (not that you should have to but hey ho).

'Hope you don't mind MIL but we've just done a shop for ourselves, don't worry I don't expect you to cook - I can cook for DH, the DC and myself and we can still eat at the same time as you. I'll make sure not to get in your way when you cook for FIL and yourself grin'

peodar Sat 11-Aug-18 16:38:31

Call her out on the lack of food and get some snacks in for your family. Take control of the situation

daytimemom Sat 11-Aug-18 16:38:44

I can’t abide meanness. If someone were genuinely hard up then fair enough, but to be well off and serve up portions suitable for a toddler is ridiculous!

Maybugger Sat 11-Aug-18 16:38:58

That's weird behaviour, isn't it? I'm just finishing an Ocado shop purely because dgcs and DS, DDIL are visiting and the little ones will eat me out of house and home!
They're only little but have brilliant appetites so I think this is really peculiar behaviour by your PILs.

CocteauTwins Sat 11-Aug-18 16:40:16

Sod that! Go home.

ShatnersBassoon Sat 11-Aug-18 16:40:39

Have they never had you over as guests before?

Biologifemini Sat 11-Aug-18 16:40:42

It is fine. You don’t need snacks.
The meal might be a bit small but ice cream isn’t needed.
It is probably just what they are used to.

daytimemom Sat 11-Aug-18 16:40:58

DH has said something along the lines of “why don’t you have any food in”? His dad said “we’re pensioners”. Yes very well off pensioners!!

GinUnicorn Sat 11-Aug-18 16:41:26

I think the only thing would be to be direct. Say if they want you and their grandchildren staying with them you do need adiquete food. Especially growing children. If that is a problem you will stay elsewhere. Some people are just a bit clueless. Hopefully it will resolve.

Good luck.

daytimemom Sat 11-Aug-18 16:41:47

No they are not thin

SnuggyBuggy Sat 11-Aug-18 16:42:29

I think some people feel self righteous doing this. definitely buy yourself some food

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