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Staying at in-laws with dc and there is no food

960 replies

daytimemom · 11/08/2018 16:30

Arrived at in-laws with DH (their son) and our two dc’s. For context, they are very well off. Live in huge house in the country, spend six months a year on cruises, have new car etc.

This is the first time we have visited them in their new house. Normally they stay at our house where we cook meals for them, provide wine and snacks and generally be very hospitable. They certainly enjoy all our food and drink.

This is what they served DH and I for dinner; two small roast potato’s, one small parsnip, teaspoon of peas and carrots, three slices of chicken. Our dc who are 11 and 12 had the same but with one roast potato rather than two. Dessert was one scoop of ice cream. DH asked if he could have another scoop but was told no as the carton (think Ben & Jerry’s small sized carton) had to last them a week.

By evening the dc were ravenous. I asked mil if dc could have a slice of toast or cereal. Was told they only had muesli and one small loaf of brown seeded bread. DC do not like either. I asked if there was any fruit was told no. DH asked if there was a bag of crisps, again no.

I’m not proud of this but DH and I went through the fridge and cupboards trying to find something to eat but the cupboards were literally bare.

DH went out this morning to buy some bread, cheese etc (which fil helped himself too) and I suggested to mil we go out to dinner but she insisted she is cooking. Dreading another tiny meal & the dc’s being hungry.

DH said they are just being tight by not spending money on food and drink. I quite frankly want to go home. Simple things like they knew we were coming but the bathroom had no towels or soap, no mirror or lamp in guest bedroom. Could they not have bought some cornflakes & snacks knowing most kids don’t eat muesli!

They have always been mean with money, poor DH as a uni student was penniless living off toast and pawning his stuff while his parents refused and financial assistance.

OP posts:
woodhill · 11/08/2018 17:22

I don't understand it.

When dc come to visit I always have loads of food

My dm can be a bit weird about food now but never used to be.

diddl · 11/08/2018 17:23

"it's reached an all time low when you're hiding hit cross buns and scoffing rhem in secret so your family can't get any."

Yup!

Jillyjollyjandy · 11/08/2018 17:23

Go home.

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woodhill · 11/08/2018 17:24

Also I tend to put things in dishes for people to help themselves making sure I have cooked plenty

SchadenfreudePersonified · 11/08/2018 17:24

you do need adiquete food. Especially growing children

THIS ^

Adolescent kids in particular have hollow legs! When My two were the ages of yours I couldn't fill them - they'd eat a full dinner, and then take a bag of crisps or something outside as well, and keep popping back to raid the fridge/cupboards - and before you ask, they are both skinny little winnots , and I serve generous Northern portions. (Think of a meal. Double it. Add half a cabbage Grin)

I think it's particularly cheeky that they (or FIL at least) is prepared to scoff the food you've bought to keep your kids from fainting with hunger while at theirs. I wouldn't buy more food. I would go home.

Breadsticksandhummus · 11/08/2018 17:24

Ugh, can't stand meanness.

But surely you all knew what they were like before you went to stay?!

Gemini69 · 11/08/2018 17:25

they sound repulsive OP Flowers

cheesefield · 11/08/2018 17:25

Fucking hell. I'd go home. They're terrible hosts.

How old are they? My granny is the opposite, you're force fed from the minute you walk in the door.

crunchymint · 11/08/2018 17:26

And my parents eat very small meals, but they always serve us big meals.
Your DH needs to tell them. And if they refuse to do bigger meals go home and tell them exactly why.

MrsMotherHen · 11/08/2018 17:26

I would go get some bits from the shop what are they serving you all for breakfast if the kids dont like the bread and cereal.

I hate the thought of anyone hungry when they come to stay if anything I am a known feeder!

Bluntness100 · 11/08/2018 17:26

When my 21 year old daughter comes home rhe fridge and cupboards are groaning they are so full with her favourite stuff. If she brings a friend then I make sure what rhey like is immediately catered for. Every meal is her or their favourite with too much served so they can help themselves.

I simply cannot imagine a scenario where I didn't want to feed my own child or begrudged her food. Which is what these people are doing, they are begrudging their child food.

And fuck me that's sad.

lapenguin · 11/08/2018 17:26

Maybe they are making it as shit as possible because they don't want to host again?
They obviously prefer it at yours
If they were that hard up they would sell their car

SchadenfreudePersonified · 11/08/2018 17:27

Older people do have smaller appetites.

But they stuff themselves at OP's, Joise

Next time they visit you, OP give them white mouse portions while the rest of you tuck in to your usual fare.

Bluntness100 · 11/08/2018 17:29

Older people do have smaller appetites

Well clearly they don't, they eat plenty at the ops, and the father in law tucked into thr bread and cheese rhe ops husband bought and was eating secret hot cross buns. In addition. Neither of them are thin.

FannyFifer · 11/08/2018 17:30

Stingy fuckers.
Can't wait to hear what is for tonight's dinner though.

cptartapp · 11/08/2018 17:30

PIL offered up three 7" pizzas (undercooked), a few slices of tomato, lettuce and cucumber and packet of breadsticks for six adults and four teenage boys at Xmas. The house was cold too. PIL boasts about how well his investments are doing yet they spend nothing. Tight.

DarlingNikita · 11/08/2018 17:32

People did not used to have snacks so many older people still don't think to buy them.

As a child in the 70s/80s, visits to my nan used to basically revolve around sandwiches, squash and the biscuit tin Grin

And my dad, in his seventies, whenever I eat at his house without fail offers me something for pudding and his face falls a bit every time when I say no thanks. He can't quite fathom it. He also has coffee, crisps or toast and generous portions of cake/biscuits while watching telly at night and (although he's too polite to say) clearly finds me odd for only having a cup of tea and one biscuit.

crunchymint · 11/08/2018 17:35

Fair enough. I normally never buy crisps or biscuits so would have to remember to for visitors. But there would be lots of food at meals and a pudding.

Butterflycookie · 11/08/2018 17:36

I would do the same when they come to visit you. Maybe they might get it if you treated them how they have treated you. Can’t believe they wouldn’t have any food for their guests.......horrible Sad

NataliaOsipova · 11/08/2018 17:37

It is very odd. Surely the tendency when you have guests, especially children who can be picky (i.e. most children!), is to over cater and be on the safe side?

BoomBoomsCousin · 11/08/2018 17:38

I think you and your DH (or just your DH in private if that would go down better) need to be very upfront with them and say you can't stay if they aren't prepared to feed you properly and if they didn't want you to come they should have said so instead of asking and then playing Fawlty Towers. You know they eat far more when they come to visit you and certainly they are happy to eat hot cross buns in secret and gobble up whatever you bring to their house so it obviously isn't that they just have different ideas about how much food is reasonable. If they go on about the cost tell them you aren't asking for five star restaurant meals, just a reasonable quantity of normal food which they are obviously capable of affording given their other spending if they actually wanted to host you.

If you aren't head on about it this will continue to be a farce every time you visit (and the current stay will be really miserable).

JurassicAdventure · 11/08/2018 17:40

We have to take snacks to my parents (and hide them as eating them is disapproved of) it just doesn't occur to them that people might want to eat more than once a day. They say things like "Oh well, I had a boiled egg for breakfast so I won't want any supper".
They are very wealthy (and do not have the figures to match this diet, but I suspect that is due to all the wine) and have always been like this. I have various memories as I child of sneaking and eating uncooked pasta or pine nuts as I was so hungry but we weren't allowed to help ourselves to anything and were told off if we asked for food between meals (1 per day). I was frequently dropped off at museums/clubs etc with no lunch or way to buy lunch as it didn't occur to them that I would want it!

Gaspodethetalkingdog · 11/08/2018 17:41

Move to a Premier Inn and don’t stay with them again!

SendYouUpInFlames · 11/08/2018 17:41

Ravenous is back 🤯🤯😂

SendYouUpInFlames · 11/08/2018 17:43

They do sound horrendous tbf.

Least you know for next time OP.

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