i'll get flamed but why are stay home mothers so smug?

[wombleprincess]

this is not a thread about the pros and cons of working/not working, i just wonder if anyone finds that stay at home mothers are really smug about the choice they've made? or is it just my experience? cant they just live and let live? I dont judge them, but they seem to be very judgemental about working mothers.

anyway, a friday topic for anyone at work trying to get through the day perhaps!!

wombleprincess - LOL (in a nice way) at 'closet feminist'!

Why be in a closet about it - thius is Mumsnet, there's no need!

wondering where the money to pay next month's mortgage is coming from kind of takes the smugness element out of it for me

I have met smug sahms.
I have met smug wohms.
I have met non smug sahms.
I have met non smug wohms.
I have met partial smuggery in sahms with regards to [insert contentious issue here].
I have met partial smuggery in wohms with regards to [insert contentious issue here].

I am smug about my ability not to become smug about any of the above.

Hey smug is just a lovely word when you say it a lot

SMUG SMUG SMUG SMUG

ohhh its lovely.

I think there are always some but you certainly can't generalise it to everyone who has the option to stay at home.

What annoys me is when people question your "choice" erm, working not a choice for me, I need to pay the mortgage we'd go under if i didn't work. lucky enough to only have to do 4 days a week so get one day with dd but moneys tight.

I know 3 SAHM, 2 of them certainly aren't smug although they do a lot of shopping with their "allowance" (one of them texted me to let me know it was the start of the Harvey Nics sale in Manc!?! 1. can't not just go to wotk tomorrow cos of a sale and 2, even with 70% off it's still out of my league, slight loss of touch with reality on her behalf me thinks). Another does get bored and frustrated but does IMO "swan" particularly during the 2 half days her dd is i nursery.

The other SAHM is a smug, patronising condescending bitch but I know she's the exception. I also know money's equally as tight for some families who are able to have a parent SAH as it is for us.

i'm a sahm had no choice but to be but love it and have never been judgmental on working mums as my friends are parents and work and also have friends who are sahm

i think to say sahm in general are smug is wrong but some and some working mums look down on sahm but not all

but its probably mums who dont need to work are smug and working mums who dont want to work dislike sahm

some mums love to be at home and some love independance of work

i would love to work but cant so i am not smug in any way at all not all mums in both catogories are smug just some individuals not working or sahm on a whole

oh and im a sahm through my dp working away and cost of childcare being to high were not better off for me being at home but would be worse off for me to work but i enjoy it and intend to work when his at school full time

i dont have huge allowance only food shopping were both down to earth not rolling in money or fine things just getting by in life

I'm not smug about my choices - I've been a FT WOHM, SAHM and PT WOHM and I think all of us are just trying to do what we need to survive and what is best for our families. I'm a feminist and think it's all about choice and each woman should be able to choose the path which will make her happy - and a happy mum generally results in a happier family whether WOH or not (although let's face it -- lots of us HAVE to work). Can we all just give each other a break!

Whilst having my shower I was thinking about what is the smuggest creature on earth.

I have come to the conclusion it is goats.

Now you think cats would be top of the smugness leader board but I suspect that they have anxiety re fur balls.

Anyway, you go look a goat in the eye. I tell you it will look back at you in an unblinking sneery fashion. That goat is thinking:

"I have horns, and nice legs. I can leap up a mountain no problem. I can eat anything in quite a delicate fashion. I do nice neat poos. I make delicious cheese Can you do any of those things? Can you? No, I thought not".

We should stop with all this sahm/wohm business and turn our attentions to goats. Smug bastards.

Those are my thoughts on this matter anyway.

i have been a WOHM and a SAHM.
I have met smug twatty WOHM and smug twatty SAHM.

When you judge people because they have made a different choice to you , it is almost always about you.

goats. scarriest animals in the world if you ask me. cats bad too. i think though, cats win out on the basis that they can sh*t in other peoples gardens and get away with it?

What a strange choice of word - why would a SAHM be smug? What is there to be smug about? My friends who are mothers are a mix of SAHMS, FT work, and PT work, and I don't think smugness would apply to any of them regardless of their situation. Most of them are knackered, some work FT/PT out of choice, some out of necessity, and in my own case I'm a SAHM not out of choice but because I couldn't go back to my job PT and am theoretically actively looking for PT work. What on earth would I be smug about? Bored sometimes, lonely sometimes, happy to be able to spend time with DS when he's so young, but smug?

don't worry
goats are mostly smug bastards.
thats valid

I suspect it's the cheese thing. Even while I was lactating I was never able to produce anything worthy to put on a nice pizza.

Cats have every right to be smug.

What about swans, they are generally very beautiful and sneery.

Bloody scary too, oh and they effortlessly maintain a monogomous relationship all their life, plus have v cute children.

I am currently a SAHM and not smug at all, I have found the financial sacrifices that we have had to make in order for me to stay at home almost unbearable. So much so that I am going back to work in mid-October. I just hate not earning my own money.

FWIW, I have never come across any smug Sahm's, probably more so Wohm's. Could just be a "grass is greener" sitch?

Peacelily
Does the book "the Ugly Duckling" mean nothing to you?

You heartless cow!

Now cows are smug, must be the multiple stomachs.

peacelily, yeah you would think swans BUT they are dirty buggers. The cob and pen (smug ant knowing swan sexes) that nest on our village pod, well she is his daughter .

And the Cygninae go though a pretty bedraggled and unkempt phase while they are teenagers.

No I think goats are still on top.

I remembered about the poor ugly duckling just as I was posting, how remiss of me.

But cygnets ARE cute tho!! And when it comes to PFB type behaviour swans win hands down, no lowly duck/canadian goose/human are allowed within 6 feet without running the risk of wing/arm aputation.

yawn

Swans do ugly, huge turds. I've stepped in one.

swan incest, well that sheds a whole new light on things, i aquiesce and go with goats.

Swanist !

Agree re GOATS! TBH I don't think cats have it solely on the basis of shitting in other people's gardens - 'cause if a goat was shitting in my garden I wouldn't argue with it (I'm not worthy, y'see).