Colleague called me a relic at lunch, would you report it?

[Sacredbirman]

Had lunch with my colleague and a new intern. I was talking to the intern and she asked how long I had been in the company. I said over 20 years.
Other colleague said yes, she’s a relic.
Feeling a little hurt by this. My DD thinks I should report to HR.
What would you do? Already feel insecure in my job as HoD has made it clear he doesn’t want older women in his team (I am early 50s).
Part of me wants to just laugh it off but there is also a bit of background that he got my role when I had burnout and when I returned I wasn’t reinstated and then he was promoted to the same level as me.

This.

I see it the same as 'they are part of the furniture'

What outcome would you want from Hr?

OP - honestly, I would be taking my years of valuable experience out of that company as soon as I could find a good-as or better job.

You got burn out, your HoD wants older females off his team, they did the dirty on you when you were off by not re-instating you....Go - before the ageism in the wider world makes a new job even harder to get.

It wasn't 'just a joke' - not from a younger / more recent male colleague who was given your role.

Hold a wet finger to the wind.

Who's making the comments?
The manager or 4p something guy?

I’m the oldie at my workplace and get ribbing for my age but it’s from those I know well and I give them hell back.

However, if I had shitty comments about my age form someone whom there was tension with I’d make a note of it. As a one off, I’d let it go but another couple of similar comments and I’d be going straight to HR.

Perhaps “veteran” would have been a more appropriate word and if it was directed at me (late 40s) I’d have assumed they meant that rather than ancient person

It’s the most pertinent and helpful reply OP got.

Seriously? Life must be v hard if you are so easily offended.

Not an insult at all. Why are you being so touchy?
Please don’t take it to heart.

When you call someone a relic it is not a positive or even neutral thing imo.

It means old, obsolete, old fashioned, belonging to a bygone era, out of touch, stubborn, not moving with the times etc

What is a relic? It's an object that is ancient that has someone survived to modern times but isn't used or useful.

I would not be pleased to be described as a relic!

The colleagues comment I’d let go. The managers discrimination is something to keep an eye on and talk to HR if there is more evidence.

Sorry, what, wait, your boss has said that he doesn’t want women over 50? That’s the thing you should be reporting.

We don’t know what he said…

Sounds ageist to me. Maybe he could have said she’s part of the furniture or something less offensive. All those who are defending this are probably not in their 50s. And if you said you’re complaining you would get called a Karen on here - middle aged women are easy pickings.

Not sure how you make your point though without coming across as prickly and difficult.

What a lazy cliched reponse to someone posting something you don’t agree with.

yes - stand up for ageism
yes - can be fun at parties

both can be true fyi

Jesus. Let it go! I would laugh. It was a joke.

I wonder if he’s not keen on over 50s because they’re miserable and can’t brush off small things.

Don’t report this.

@Sacredbirman I am going to be a little bit challenging.

You state your HoD wants you out and another colleague called you a relic. These are unprofessional statements/actions but, be honest, is there an element of truth? Is that why it stung?

By this I mean are you slightly resistant to change, do you say “this is how we always do xyz”, are you reluctant to use new IT/AI etc. do you come over as slightly jaded?

It is tough in your 50s as quite often you have been there, done that and got more than one T shirt. New initiatives are not actually new, just the cycle has comeback round to that approach and it can be hard to summon up the enthusiasm yet again.

Have a quip for next time you are called a relic but also take the time to reflect on whether a few tweaks to your approach might make you seem less out of step with younger colleagues.

I wouldn't say it was an insult. So no I wouldn't report it. Why do you think your boss doesn't want older women on the team? That's more of an issue.

I am well over 50 and I think the OP should try to be less touchy,

If someone called me a cunt, I would be going to HR, if someone called me a relic, I would either laugh, or give them an answer in kind.

There is a difference between banter and unacceptable comment.

I would have just laughed and called them a baby.

I genuinely think that this is taking far too much of your head space up.
I don't mean that in a horrible way, I just can't imagine being upset about such a thing.
I've been called a dwarf before by colleagues because I am 4'11. I like being petite though and genuinely don't have a problem with my height and weight.
Are you particularly bothered about your age? Just embrace it. Same as my height, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it and you are not much older than me anyway.
I know it's not PC to call someone a dwarf, however in the job that we were doing at the time, we heard horrendous things and our sense of humour became dark.
Just get on with your life.

I’d have just replied “ yep I’m a bona fide dinosaur “ and laughed…

I see it was your daughter who suggested reporting, typical of a lot of the younger generation who cause issues over non events in workplaces and don't seem to have any resilience or good old fashioned gumption to get on with the job

Get a fucking grip! I’d have laughed, and I did when someone said similar to me.