Return to Office policy will make it impossible for me to work!

[SamSam786R]

I started my job four years ago under a hybrid policy, although my contract stated it was 9-5, Mon-Fri. In these four years I have managed to work from home and office with a degree of flexibility. After I got pregnant with my third child and returned from mat leave in April 2025 things changed drastically. They tried to remove all flexibilty that I had (rigid 9-5 working hours when I had worked reduced hours in the office and made the time up in the evenings). I've subjected to nasty comments like 'You have baby brain' and 'your performance has suffered since you got pregnant'. Now I must juggle two pick ups (kids and nursery) the school doesnt offer afterschool provision and I cannot move them. My child is settled in nursery but the 9-5 hours wont allow me to pick him up on time - I'm alrrady stressed and sick at the thought of being late to pick up and work. For me to return to the office five days is impossible and extra nursery days and hours plus additonal travel would put me at a loss of ~£600. Going part time would also leave me at a loss because I'd still be paying the same in bills and childcare costs. I feel like I have no choice but to leave once this policy comes into action but there are male colleagues of mine who are: able to work one day a week due to relocations, have manged to negotiate late starts so they can go to the gym, not to mention our HR person (also male) comes into work after me most days and does not even come inot the office regularly himself. I feel like they are pushing me out. Please note my manager is based abroad and I work in comms - similar roles I have done fully remote. This was along the lines of what they emailed us: "Over the past five years the business has operated a discretionary hybrid working trial. This trial was a temporary, non-contractual arrangement and Following a comprehensive review of our operational needs and performance targets, the business has made the strategic decision to formally conclude this trial."

This is wrong. If OP's flexible working has become contractual through custom and practice, her employer cannot change it just by giving notice. They must try to get her agreement to the change. Failing that, they can impose the change but doing so is risky and may lead to a successful claim from OP for breach of contract or constructive dismissal. Given what she has said, she may also have a claim for sex discrimination. She needs to consult a lawyer who specialises in employment law. If she has legal cover through her home insurance, they may be able to help.

YES! And THIS is why so many employers want people back in the office.

My neighbour has a child aged 3, and she works 4 days a week (has Friday off,) and keeps the child home for Monday and Wednesday, and works around them. Child goes to a daycare place on Tuesday and Thursday. They are at home every day during the school holidays as the woman refuses to pay the extortionate 'all-day' daycare fees. I mean they are hilariously high, but she knew that when she had a baby. No partner, I have no idea who he is, never seen him.

In 'work' time, she has the hairdresser around, and the nail bar woman, (every other week!) does gardening, talks to her mates and her mother on the phone for half hour in the garden, puts the washing out, pops out doing errands, and has endless cigarette breaks, (2-3 an hour, 5-6 minutes each time,) and much more.... As I say, all during 'work time.' Her lunch break is frequently an hour and a half.

Farcical to the extreme that these piss takers thought this would continue forever... The bosses are wise to them now.

Some people say 'well my work is done so that's all that matters.'

All that proves is that you don't have enough to do.

@SamSam786R YABVVVVU. Time to pull your socks up and step into the real world ... The world that many working mothers have been in for DECADES now.

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The productivity crisis has little to do with hybrid or flexible work arrangements and everything to do with owners and employers failing to invest in their companies. Not to mention the poor quality managers we suffer from. This has been thoroughly researched and well understood for years.

It’s called flexible working, as has been stated repeatedly. I don’t think anyone is trying to tell OP she doesn’t have rights, they’re trying to be accurate in how they talk about the legislation that provides the rights because it makes a difference e.g. when trying to find info or make a complaint.

Please. Join a union, or consult CAB. This sounds like a case for constructive dismissal. You've said your work hasn't suffered and you are being treated less favourably than your male colleagues. Good luck.

Er no it’s not. I couldn’t go back to work due to childcare. We had to deal with dip in income. You sound very entitled. You decided to have 3 children you need childcare in place.

That's the way I read it too.

Op, you have been looking after your 3 kids and working at the same time.
We all know thats practically impossible, unless you are a childminder.

OP maybe you just need to look for a different role. Your company does not sound very progressive or that they wish to employ you going forward. As of old, perhaps they just prefer men - that s* never dies in some industries It is not easy for parents in the workplace, never has been and never will be. Family friendly for employers involves the employee pretending they have no family or other life and the employer offering any friendliness in this basis.

Part time may give you some breathing space even if it doesn't help financially. As may considering alternatove childcare options - childminder , day time nanny etc

My children are older now and I work in a role with shifts and no working from home at all. It works for us now due to our family set up. But I well remember the nightmare of juggling getting to the office on time, getting to nursery on time, sick children, school holiday clubs. It is really hard and you have my full sympathy.

i would mention I wouldn’t quit your job to claim UC that may cause you issues accessing support (much like Jobseeker’s Allowance) you would need to be made redundant or fired to avoid any issues Also I dont know how old your youngest is but from 2 years old you would be expected to job seek and by the time they are 3 you would need to be employed or at least looking actively for work up to 30 hours a week. I don’t think it’s completely rigid but you will be set tasks and have meetings etc to get back into employment
hopefully you can solve your issues at work.

@SamSam786R your contract of employment requires you to be available for work on a full-time basis from 9am to 5pm, presumably with the entitlement to a one hour lunch break.

I am afraid your employer is entitled to expect you to comply with the terms of your contract. It's why the money appears in your bank account every month.

At the very beginning, your employer should have insisted on a formal flexible working arrangement.

Are you available for all required meetings, or have your pick ups meant co-ordination issues?

Have there been delays in you responding to urgent issues?

Are you bonded into your team and the business?

Have there been virtual meetings with a child in the background?

It seems as if work is not your priority I'm afraid which for your contractual hours it has to be; your childcare needs to be arranged to suit your contractual working hours. The fact that you will be worse off financially arising from your third child, and continuing to fulful your contractual obligations is your issue, not your employer's issue.

You've had a lot of licence to date, and the birds have come home to roost. I think you accept you need a few years as a SAHM or you accept that for a few years, it costs your wallet to maintain an unbroken work record, career development, progression of earnings and your pension.

You need child care; child care costs money; there is no way around that unless you have someone willing to offer free child care.

This is exactly what happened with the women I was managing. She sent the odd email during her catch up hours but she really was needed on calls and claimed she wasnt available. In the end I insisted she come on a client call and she admitted she needed to do a school pick up but it was a one off.

I no longer work for that large company but there is a reason why wfh isnt working for many many roles. As a PP says, with all the school runs, childcare, dog walks etc its a nighmare to get a meeting in the diary. Our meetings tended to last a couple of hours with screen sharing, presentations etc.

So she says her performance is solid. Well she would say that wouldnt she...

No it isn’t don’t talk nonsense

Agree. There is a place for wfh. Its spolit by people like this who take the piss.

In my experience it works for certain roles. When people are travelling to client meetings, when they are managing diferent time zones but SO many people looking at it as a reason to do as little as possible and hide what they are doing. Mouse movers shot up during Covid - we all know people who do as little as they can whilst running their family lives.

With respect, if your DH works, and you stay at home so no childcare required, you'll be entitled to a tiny amount of UC. You'd also be screwing your career long term, and missing out on development opportunities and occupational pension contributions. You'll also (depending on the ages of your children), be expected to seek work, and accept any job offered, even if it's a 9-5 in office job.

You'd be far better off paying for more childcare and/or negotiating part time hours for either yourself or your DH.

Your work is your priority during working hours. Not doing childcare and are you seriously saying you have never missed a meeting. Never had your child in the background?

no, formal flexible working and an informal flexible working agreement are both different from WFH, which, unless combined with a flexible working agreement of either type, assumes that the employee will be working during their normal hours and doing their normal work, but sitting in their own home rather than in an office workplace.

In most cases yes an informal agreement is going to be easy enough agree to say that working from their mums, or having the boiler repaired, or having a telephone doctors appointment during that time is fine. But that is still agreeing to flexible working - with the emphasis on agreeing - as in both employer and employee are aware.

(Yes location does matter, a friend WFH contractually but has to have alternative workplaces formally agreed because of the nature of her work)

Anyway, we probably have to agree to disagree on this one because I do actually have work to crack on with...

You sure about that £2k UC?

What has happened since March? Are you on a formal PIP now? What is your employment lawyer from Google advising you?

www.mumsnet.com/talk/work/5499183-indirect-discrimination-against-working-mother?page=1

OP, can you outline in detail exactly what ‘flexible working’ looks like for you day-to-day? And what childcare limitations you have each day / each child, and how this interacts with your contracted hours?

That might answer a lot of the questions people have, to be able to help you.

You seem to be using 'hybrid working' - office/remote mix, interchangably with 'flexible working' - flexible working hours.

If you've been working hours of your choice without agreement and a flexible working practice then yes, they would be able to pick you up on that. Regardless of what other people do - they may have agreements you are unaware of/different business requirements etc. You can't point at other people and say 'but they do it' because you may not have the whole picture.

Sadly a lot of companies are doing a RTO, probably because people have mistaken hybrid for flexible...

I would vote with your feet.
Look for a similar job in an organisation that is truly hybrid.
You could try public sector /local government? My salary is lower than it would be in private sector but that is balanced by very substantial pension package and genuine hybrid working

I think what she was saying is the dc are in nursery and school which have start times at eg 8.30/8.40 so can be dropped off and be at her desk at 9am

Nursery might be covered with a 5.30pm finish and dc leave school at 4pm so she downs tools at 3.45pm Collects dc has the evening with them and then makes up the 75 minutes when they are in bed.

Going into the office would mean wraparound care and extra nursery time

It’s alright saying just pay for extra childcare extra nursery and a train ticket each day but over the last 5 years wages have stagnated and now we have people not being able to afford the extra childcare, the commute costs etc

Are those that live too far from the office being told to return to work full time.

Is your boss being told to get a work visa for the uk and move here .

This is definitely a “want her out situation”