Return to Office policy will make it impossible for me to work!

[SamSam786R]

I started my job four years ago under a hybrid policy, although my contract stated it was 9-5, Mon-Fri. In these four years I have managed to work from home and office with a degree of flexibility. After I got pregnant with my third child and returned from mat leave in April 2025 things changed drastically. They tried to remove all flexibilty that I had (rigid 9-5 working hours when I had worked reduced hours in the office and made the time up in the evenings). I've subjected to nasty comments like 'You have baby brain' and 'your performance has suffered since you got pregnant'. Now I must juggle two pick ups (kids and nursery) the school doesnt offer afterschool provision and I cannot move them. My child is settled in nursery but the 9-5 hours wont allow me to pick him up on time - I'm alrrady stressed and sick at the thought of being late to pick up and work. For me to return to the office five days is impossible and extra nursery days and hours plus additonal travel would put me at a loss of ~£600. Going part time would also leave me at a loss because I'd still be paying the same in bills and childcare costs. I feel like I have no choice but to leave once this policy comes into action but there are male colleagues of mine who are: able to work one day a week due to relocations, have manged to negotiate late starts so they can go to the gym, not to mention our HR person (also male) comes into work after me most days and does not even come inot the office regularly himself. I feel like they are pushing me out. Please note my manager is based abroad and I work in comms - similar roles I have done fully remote. This was along the lines of what they emailed us: "Over the past five years the business has operated a discretionary hybrid working trial. This trial was a temporary, non-contractual arrangement and Following a comprehensive review of our operational needs and performance targets, the business has made the strategic decision to formally conclude this trial."

This is good advice, employment law is more helpful than other contract law, so if they let you do something for ages, it effectively becomes the norm, even if your contract says something different. The problem is that if you pursue all this, even if you win, your working relationship with the company, which already don't sound great, will be a lot less cordial. You need specific advice, but it may be that constructive dismissal is the most useful thing here (you ask them clearly in writing to let you retain flexibility, and explain why they should, they refuse, you leave, and take them to a tribunal because they effectively forced you out by being unreasonable.).

It doesn’t sound like the OP is hybrid working, it sounds like she is working from home - which was never the agreement and so I can see why this is being taken away.

Have you been working from home with kids at home? What happening school holidays?

Where is your partner in all of this? Why are you the only one trying to juggle childcare/pick ups and work

You need to put a proper proposal in place to set out how you plan to work core hours with some flexibility. Stay away from "well so and so comes in late to go to the gym" in your proposal, it has to be about how you can manage work in the hours you propose and that the business won't be affected

If you truly feel that there is an element of sexual discrimination going on then contact ACAS and your union for advice

Get union and legal and ACAS advice asap and don’t listen to any of the bootlickers here.

It sounds like you are being discriminated against and could have a case.

It is true - there has been a 42% drop in advertised remote roles since last year, and the lowest number since March 2020. Work is changing (again).

I full support hybrid work. I have that structure in my own organisation. I think broadly it works. I dont support a return to 100% in office for everyone as pre-Covid, which I think is what you are assuming.

When it doesn’t work is when people aren’t focused during working hours on their work, and start trying to create their own schedule without discussion or approval. Picking the kids up at 3pm every day. Wanting to be fully remote for childcare reasons. Having the kids at home during the holidays.

I’ve had people request this of me - I want to be fully remote, I want to finish at 3pm, I want fully remote but also 4 days a week, oh and I also want to work term time only. These are not small asks.

Flexible working is usually small tweaks, not a complete overhaul of the working day - I have a team member who leaves five minutes early so they can make the right train. This is fine and not disruptive to the business.

As a manager I am not keen on the team working and making up hours later in the evening. We’ve all finished for the day and it’s hard to know what’s being done and also be on hand for queries.
are you looking after your children at any point whilst working - this will be a major issue for a manager.

Request flexible working
everybody’s request are individual
the fact someone got it for relocating is irrelevant
baby brain comment is an issue that should of been addressed
Don’t focus on other people

If you’re a member with a union, you need to unpick this with them. However, trade union reps vary in their effectiveness.
It sounds like you had a lot of flexibility, coming in late and going early which they’ve decided to revoke. They are within their rights to do this, but you are also within your right to submit a flexi-working request. You could ask to say work from home 2 to 3 days a week, change your working hours from 10-6 etc. If you are asking to work from home and simultaneously do childcare unless others in your company are doing it then expect them to turn it down.
Check out your company’s flexi-working policy and working from home policy, before putting in a formal request. There’s often a clause to say you can’t work at home and be responsible for primary aged children. Your request needs to be compliant.
The comments are completely unacceptable. However your usual recourse would be to go to HR.

Please contact ACAS and get advice on this.

You are getting a lot of bad advice here from people who are anti wfh

ACAS will tell you the legal post without prejudice

Even though I’ve worked from home for many years, it would only be a very rare exception for me to be picking up a child at 3.30. We use after school childcare to bridge the gap. My prior employer had a very established working from home policy (pre-covid) and that had a very clear statement that you could not be working with a child at home that you were solely responsible for. I completely agree with this - it’s a poor quality experience for both the child and the employer.

There’s definitely issues on both sides here.

It sounds like the comments that you have been subjected to are not okay, and if it’s true that others are allowed flexibility while you are not - assuming that you work in similar/comparable roles - then that’s not okay either.

But it’s quite understandable that the split hours that you have been working for don’t work for your employer, and you really can’t expect to work full-time with no wraparound care in place for primary children and without full-time nursery for a younger child. Those are basic expectations regardless of what location you are working from.

I would put in a formal flexible working request but be prepared to have to do something about your childcare arrangements anyway, no matter what outcome you get out of it.

I don't dispute organisations are trying to roll back WFH, but it's not because of productivity it's because they think there is a productivity issue but there isn't. It's rhe inability of managers to believe that anyone could possibly work in a way that doesn't advantage men's availability.

Agree with this. Their 'it was a 5 year trial' line is ridiculous and a union wouldn't be standing for that. However you seem to have been working some days with your youngest also at home with you and that's also just not on.

Honestly I’d say a lot about why they are changing things is because their current policy is being abused.

Surely you can see they might have a different perspective to yours in this.

You probably will need to look for what is out there that meets your current needs.

If I were you OP I would put in a flexible working request. Then while waiting for it to be considered I would start looking for something else. If and when you finally leave, give them feedback it’s due to their lack of trust in their employees that made you feel demoralised and lack of flexibility.

Constructive dismissal my arse.

OP is a total piss taker the same as so many others who are ruining the whole work from home ethos. People are using WFH as time to be able to do the chores, look after the kids, anything but do the job they’re actually paid to do.

The OP needs to have 9-5 childcare or she’s not suited to a 9-5 role. It really is that simple.

Just a thought, it’s no wonder the birth rate is going down so much is it? Cost of living going through the roof, leaving less money to spend on things like nursery spaces, combined with more and more employers forcing staff back to the office. It’s all well and good but who’s going to look after the ageing population?

It's not entitled. Unfortunately many employers are still stuck in 1811 and cannot comprehend that models other than the 9-5 can work.

I saw someone up the thread also comment on working around children and then making the hours up "wasn't great". What a laughable comment. It's the same hours!!!

The 35 hour week has gone.

Its not helpful because topping up work in the evening means you are less available for meetings and when people need you or your input during the working day.

If your colleague needs something at 3pm they should be able to get hold of you and you should be fully available for work, at your desk not buggered off on the school run.

All the people who claim they are 'topping up their hours in the evening' are NEVER working the same way in the eve that people are during 9-5 with scrutiny and oversight. They are usually just leaving themselves logged in on teams on their phone, wiggling the mouse a bit, checking their emails every 20 min. Its not the same.

Most of us who had kids prior to 2020 managed to work full time in an office and still have children. Sure, it will not be as cheap as trying to work whilst having your children with you at home, but it's a cost that comes with having children and it should be split between the parents not all coming out of the mum's wages.

Unfortunately you are in comms, a harshly declining job market, I wouldn't want to risk that job unless you can afford to be jobless. Get your partner to do his share, get a childminder or nanny for your school age kids, and pay for appropriate childcare for your youngest. It will cost you as a family for now, but having a job is the most important thing.

What is the toddler doing while you are working @SamSam786R ?

That's a very bold statement that you can't possibly know applies to every organisation.

For example, my organisation has carried out research and identified specific examples of lower productivity when particular teams were fully wfh. They have therefore addressed those specfic examples (and yes, it does mean that some jobs have been identifed as no suitable for being fully remote). Saying that productivity doesn't drop when everyone is wfh is as closed minded as saying it does.

When they say, "Your performance has suffered" have they given details or examples?

Is there any truth in it?

If not; if your work is of the same high standard and you are a valuable employee, why do you think they are saying it?

If there is some truth in their comment, could you address this in a way that might make them look on you more favourably when it comes to requesting some flexibility?

Agree. It used to be the norm and those of who worked full time in the office back then made it work. As a manager I can totally see why they want people back in. Surely those discretionary agreements to come in later due to gym etc will all be torn up too. I guess you don’t have much choice to suck it up or look for something else