Return to Office policy will make it impossible for me to work!

[SamSam786R]

I started my job four years ago under a hybrid policy, although my contract stated it was 9-5, Mon-Fri. In these four years I have managed to work from home and office with a degree of flexibility. After I got pregnant with my third child and returned from mat leave in April 2025 things changed drastically. They tried to remove all flexibilty that I had (rigid 9-5 working hours when I had worked reduced hours in the office and made the time up in the evenings). I've subjected to nasty comments like 'You have baby brain' and 'your performance has suffered since you got pregnant'. Now I must juggle two pick ups (kids and nursery) the school doesnt offer afterschool provision and I cannot move them. My child is settled in nursery but the 9-5 hours wont allow me to pick him up on time - I'm alrrady stressed and sick at the thought of being late to pick up and work. For me to return to the office five days is impossible and extra nursery days and hours plus additonal travel would put me at a loss of ~£600. Going part time would also leave me at a loss because I'd still be paying the same in bills and childcare costs. I feel like I have no choice but to leave once this policy comes into action but there are male colleagues of mine who are: able to work one day a week due to relocations, have manged to negotiate late starts so they can go to the gym, not to mention our HR person (also male) comes into work after me most days and does not even come inot the office regularly himself. I feel like they are pushing me out. Please note my manager is based abroad and I work in comms - similar roles I have done fully remote. This was along the lines of what they emailed us: "Over the past five years the business has operated a discretionary hybrid working trial. This trial was a temporary, non-contractual arrangement and Following a comprehensive review of our operational needs and performance targets, the business has made the strategic decision to formally conclude this trial."

I will not be going part time as I have every right to work and earn the same as my male childless colleagues. A contract might be binding to HR but the law in UK overrides everything.

Fine but you need to have arranged appropriate childcare for that job.

They really are. Just because WFH can be one way of flexible working doesn't make them the same thing.

My team WFH for 3 days a week, for example, but that doesn't give them the ability to do the school run at 3 unless they have also agreed this as a specific flexible working arrangement (or its agreed on an ad-hoc basis because they need to do a one off)

Exactly

I think a part time role would suit you better

We are saying the same thing so not quite sure what your issue is? At least you have recognised it’s a legal right now and not just if you’re “valuable enough to accommodate them”.

My husband works in Sales and his job is completely customer facing. He did change his hours to suit my office days when it was just two days a week but he'd be taking a massive pay cut should he change his hours again. He already covers childcare two days a week. I am seriously considering PT but financially i'd be better off on Universal Credit TBH so i may take that route instead and just enjoy the free time without a toxic workplace. This world was not built for working mums, I tried and it was fun whule it lasted!

Do you struggle with comprehension or are you being deliberately obtuse? I think we can all agree the employer is required to make adjustments for childcare (unless it’s reasonably impractical) via the mechanism of a flexible working request.

How much UC do you think you’ll be able to claim exactly, given your husband is in full time (presumably reasonably well paid) work, and you are just choosing not to…?

UC takes into account your household income so if you husband earns more than minimum wage you are unlikely to get much UC and probably none of he earns above £40k

you haven’t answered how often you are working whilst actually looking after a child. I can understand the company’s view if you are. The male colleagues going to the gym etc won’t also be working whilst simultaneously going child care I presume. That’s the difference probably.

No, you are confusing formal flexible working with an informal arrangement.

https://www.gov.uk/flexible-working

Clear guidance here.

ETA: obviously nobody has the right to informal flexible working, but under the statutory rules, working from home is a type of flexible working.

That is a very short-sighted way to look at this. You will eventually still be forced to look for work when on UC, they don't just throw money at you until your kids are out of school. What kind of work do you envision getting after having years away from a comms job? You will also miss out on career progression and pension contributions. Plus your DH works full time, you might not be entitled to much, if anything, benefits wise.

You are being obtuse by refusing to concede that reasonable adjustments is not the correct term to use. I’m not the only poster that has pointed this out but still you refuse to listen. Have a good day 😊

there is clear discrimination against you due to gender, a protected characteristic under law

Gender is not a protected characteristic. Sex is. When quoting the law to employers you need to be accurate.

This side thread is wild 🤣 You used the wrong term, you got pulled up on it, they are still trying to make the point, you are still trying to suggest one thing means another.

Reasonable adjustments is a specific term. Flexible working is another, different, specific term. That is the thing we should all be able to agree on, because it is a fact.

There’s no requirement to make any adjustments for childcare.

If you want to be that petty then I actually used the term accommodations not adjustments. The specific term reasonable adjustments applies to disabilities, but I think we can all agree that we’ve established that accommodations/adjustments/whatever you want to call it legally need to be made for women with childcare responsibilities need to be made via the mechanism of flexible working where reasonably practical?

It's fine - UC is there to help people like me so I should take it without shame. If i could find a decent role that was flexible I'd take it but there aren't and my employer has mistreated me so I will now do what is best for my family. Thanks, most of this advice was terrible and shows how bitter and sad some people are.

See upthread where your assertion has been disproven. Where are you getting your information?

I am going to be harsh here as a manager of people in the past. This sort of set up gives managers huge issues. You say you make up time but with 3 children I am afraid I dont believe you. I had someone in my team who was doing similar. I inherited her into the team and quite honestly she took up over 50% of my time.

I couldnt see what she was doing. She was often never around if we needed an urgent client call and if pushed used the old 'dentist' appointment. I had to ask her for confirmation at one point and it all unravalled.

She had brought a dog because her children wanted one. At one point when I tried to call her about something she claimed her dog had run off and that was why she wasnt at her desk.

She wanted to take endless time off for medical appointments, clearly had a child whilst she was trying to work and claimed it was because they were poorly.

This is very much throwing your teddy out of the pram if you don't get your own way.
You are not employed at your own convenience but for the needs of the business. How can you give 100% working at home with 3 children around?
Have you considered a childminder doing your wrap around care?

Before you jack it all in to claim UC, do a proper calculation first as you may be shocked when £2k isn't dropping into your account every month.

I’m really glad that you recognise the mistreatment and I hope you pursue that if you feel you have the energy to do it. It’s shocking and it absolutely pushes mothers out of the workplace, and has an indirect impact on all women.

UC is for people out of work and seeking work. You’ll be expected to look for work not enjoy the free time. Also you won’t get it if you leave work voluntarily.

What’s wild is that some strange and sad women are desperate to gaslight working mothers (on a forum for mothers no less) into believing they have fewer legal rights than they do 🤷🏼‍♀️. If someone would like to agree some acceptable wording to the thread that means “making reasonable adjustments/accommodations” for childcare” without using the phrase “reasonable adjustments” then I’m more than happy to use it.

Your experience managing someone who took the piss isn’t relevant. OP’s performance is solid and she’s doing well for the organisation.