Return to Office policy will make it impossible for me to work!

[SamSam786R]

I started my job four years ago under a hybrid policy, although my contract stated it was 9-5, Mon-Fri. In these four years I have managed to work from home and office with a degree of flexibility. After I got pregnant with my third child and returned from mat leave in April 2025 things changed drastically. They tried to remove all flexibilty that I had (rigid 9-5 working hours when I had worked reduced hours in the office and made the time up in the evenings). I've subjected to nasty comments like 'You have baby brain' and 'your performance has suffered since you got pregnant'. Now I must juggle two pick ups (kids and nursery) the school doesnt offer afterschool provision and I cannot move them. My child is settled in nursery but the 9-5 hours wont allow me to pick him up on time - I'm alrrady stressed and sick at the thought of being late to pick up and work. For me to return to the office five days is impossible and extra nursery days and hours plus additonal travel would put me at a loss of ~£600. Going part time would also leave me at a loss because I'd still be paying the same in bills and childcare costs. I feel like I have no choice but to leave once this policy comes into action but there are male colleagues of mine who are: able to work one day a week due to relocations, have manged to negotiate late starts so they can go to the gym, not to mention our HR person (also male) comes into work after me most days and does not even come inot the office regularly himself. I feel like they are pushing me out. Please note my manager is based abroad and I work in comms - similar roles I have done fully remote. This was along the lines of what they emailed us: "Over the past five years the business has operated a discretionary hybrid working trial. This trial was a temporary, non-contractual arrangement and Following a comprehensive review of our operational needs and performance targets, the business has made the strategic decision to formally conclude this trial."

If her husband is earning at least the AET which is currently 1597 for a joint claim then she will not be required to look for work when her youngest child turns 3. However she could face a pre claim sanction for giving up paid work but childcare issues is usually a good reason

With that baby brain comment and other details about what your male colleagues have been given, I'm thinking this could be a sex discrimination case.

I'd check an online benefits calculator before you leave your job, if your husband is in full time employment, depending on his earnings, you may not actually be entitled to it as it's based on household income.

I'd maybe discuss with your actual manager if you can formalise your flexible working agreement, that may work for you?

A lot of workplaces now are pulling hybrid/remote working, which is frustrating because for some people it's a real lifesaver, but sadly I feel it maybe had been abused by some, which has had a negative impact on everyone else, so if I were you I'd try and get a formal agreement in place off the back of the email and go from there.

Absolutely, you must do what works for you. I don’t know how it works - but please check you get the national insurance contributions via universal credit….and if you can do something flexible during these years or volunteering that keeps the skills relevant - it’s worth it.

While for different reasons I had a year out of work a while back and tried my best to do a few
things that were relevant to skill set that I was able to talk about in interviews.

I hope you get a decent payout from your job, ensure your home instance has legal expenses on it, and if not already - join a union. Anyone can join a union! They will help with issues like these.

What does your contract say ? Check what you have regarding hybrid work and flexibility even on emails etc . That’s very unfair

90 minutes for a commute is huge though, you must have thought about that when you took the job? I filtered work by what I could work around my children’s needs and childcare options, I didn’t take the well paid job in London with a 80 minute commute despite it being an amazing opportunity (old boss offered it to me) i looked for local work, you can too

Why would she get a decent payout and unions normally only represent existing members not ones that have just joined. There is also another thread by the OP which tells a different story.

while I cannot comment on previous threads, based on the facts she has presented here it looks like she is being managed out.

Re. Unions - I am not sure if there is a qualifying membership period before they will help a member. I guess it would be something for OP to check before she joined one.

I think employers have every right to expect people in their place of work. I sympathise with your sutuation as juggling childcare isn't easy. But if you are being treated less favourably than other colleagues who negotiate flexi time then you absolutely have cause for complaint.

I agree you need to show you are flexible though. You can't expect 100% working from home if that's not what your employer wants.

Thank you….but I havnt a clue what corporate communications is either!

Understood and agreed. From what OP has said it sounds as though her contractual place of work is the office but I agree that may not be the case given she joined in 2022.

wrong thread ha

Has been the case for decades.

Honestly I wish some people would check what they say before offering suggestions. Re the unions - its rather like buying insurance after you know there is a potential claim!

Looking at both this and the other post the OP made. I think she has been swinging the lead. Puts work way down the list. Her children come first to her and she has been doing childcare and all sorts whilst she is pretending to work. Her comments about UC is equally entitled.

Now she has been caught out and is wondering how she can wriggle out of things. To be honest. Its too late. They are on to you. They are giving you warnings and you claim to be 'picked' on.

This is why I think WFH needs to be managed carefully. So many people taking the piss.

That was my thought. Absolutely unacceptable in this day and age, but coupled with a reluctance to consider maintaining the hybrid working model you’ve been accustomed to from day one of your employment, I would advise seeking legal advice and considering a tribunal case.

I see this a lot. Surely if you can do all sorts of other things your workload is not being managed correctly and could well end up being a part time role! The thing is people who are doing all these other jobs whilst they are meant to be working dont want to give up the full time salary let alone the zero commuting costs.

I completely agree - of course work should be your priority during your working hours, unless you have a real emergency. How on earth does the OP think women managed before the pandemic, when the vast majority of people were expected to be in the office full time?

Another thread with many awful comments.

Who knew that mumsnet hates working mothers, stay at home mothers and mothers who do anything other than be a mother.

You are correct, wasn’t trying to mislead and shouldn’t rely on out of date knowledge!

Honestly - I agree, I wish people would read.

one has to be a member for 4 weeks before they (union) will give legal advice.

OP probably has 4 weeks, she is still there.

Awful comments?! Most people have sympathised but also stated that they have in place childcare arrangements for when children need to be at nursery during work hours or at afterschool club if at school. This is what the vast majority of working parents do.

Covid happened and people saw how flexible it was for them. No communting costs, companies having to suck up that you didnt have childcare. You could get on with all household tasks knowing that no one could see you.

The piss takers took it far too far and carried on with this way of working until they were caught.

I have done both. WFH for many years but at no point did I think I could save on childcare. I was running large corporate accounts and needed to be available. I had to do some travelling. My children are grown up now and looking at how SOME women are spoiling it for others which means no one has any flexibility makes me sick! I had the odd time when child was ill but often an ill child sleeps a lot. I also didnt expect to be micro managed which I wasnt.

I had many managers over the years but not once was I questioned about why I wasnt available during the working day. Some of my work collegues and sadly it was mostly women could not be trusted. I found the more senior roles were OK. It was the junior admin roles that became the issue

Agree. It is simply impossible to focus on work while looking after young children. Anyone who claims it is and who works from home with no childcare is a liar if they think they are being remotely productive.

No they just don’t take well to mums who try to piss take and save hundreds or even thousands in childcare fees, usually negatively impacting their colleagues who are often women too. And mums who then declare that they will quit their job and go on benefits so that they can have a cushy life at home, said benefits being funded by those of us in work.

No I don't, because my employer encourages flexible and hybrid working. I work 50-80 hours a week and they don't give a crap where I do it or when as long as the work gets done. I have set hours I need to come in for some weeks a year which I always make sure I have covered by DH.