Return to Office policy will make it impossible for me to work!

[SamSam786R]

I started my job four years ago under a hybrid policy, although my contract stated it was 9-5, Mon-Fri. In these four years I have managed to work from home and office with a degree of flexibility. After I got pregnant with my third child and returned from mat leave in April 2025 things changed drastically. They tried to remove all flexibilty that I had (rigid 9-5 working hours when I had worked reduced hours in the office and made the time up in the evenings). I've subjected to nasty comments like 'You have baby brain' and 'your performance has suffered since you got pregnant'. Now I must juggle two pick ups (kids and nursery) the school doesnt offer afterschool provision and I cannot move them. My child is settled in nursery but the 9-5 hours wont allow me to pick him up on time - I'm alrrady stressed and sick at the thought of being late to pick up and work. For me to return to the office five days is impossible and extra nursery days and hours plus additonal travel would put me at a loss of ~£600. Going part time would also leave me at a loss because I'd still be paying the same in bills and childcare costs. I feel like I have no choice but to leave once this policy comes into action but there are male colleagues of mine who are: able to work one day a week due to relocations, have manged to negotiate late starts so they can go to the gym, not to mention our HR person (also male) comes into work after me most days and does not even come inot the office regularly himself. I feel like they are pushing me out. Please note my manager is based abroad and I work in comms - similar roles I have done fully remote. This was along the lines of what they emailed us: "Over the past five years the business has operated a discretionary hybrid working trial. This trial was a temporary, non-contractual arrangement and Following a comprehensive review of our operational needs and performance targets, the business has made the strategic decision to formally conclude this trial."

@Dumbledora8
But making up time in the evening may not suit - if she needs input from other colleagues who are working 9 to 5 for example.
I have a friend who runs a small engineering company employing about 25 people. She has had to put very strict boundaries in place around working from home.

I was replying to posters who were saying work places didn’t need to consider or make flexible arrangements so that employees are able to pick their children up from nursery after their commune.

If OPs only issue was getting to nursery before it closes that would be an easier one to sole. She needs to sort after school childcare or hugely reduce her hours.

I would talk to pregnant than screwed and seek advice from them.

This sounds like discrimination, if it was uniformly affecting everyone than that is one thing, but it is not.

The baby brain comments are discrimination, why would anyone think it would be ok to say any of that? It isn't.

Have you put in a flexible working request? By law you can from day 1 in the job, and they have to tell you face to face why that cannot be an option.

If they have been making negative comments about pregnancy and baby brain, then they have been actively discriminating against you.

This organisation sounds toxic from the top down and I'd look for another job if I were you. In the meantime, if you feel like they are deliberately making life difficult for you in order to get rid of you, maybe find out whether there is an option for you to go down the 'constructive dismissal' route.

I think pregnant then screwed stopped the free legal advice but they still have a HR helpline.

Joeli Brearley and a law firm have set up a free legal advice line, response within 48 hours and 1 hour free. I’ll attach an image of the details.

Ah I remember this thread at the time.

It sounds like you’re not available to work because you’re busy with childcare. And I fully understand that’s a difficult juggle, but thats not what your job are paying you for. And they have obviously been raising the issue with you for months and nothing appears to have changed on your side, so as a result, they are requiring everyone back in the office.

If people take the piss, even for understandable reasons such as childcare, then workplaces become stricter.

It's rubbish, OP. It's probably their way of trying to shed a few people, a number of companies are at the moment. I would put in a flexible working request, particularly as you got the job and have worked for four years under the hybrid policy, particularly if you perform well that way.

Isn't it great how simultaneously we have the issue of:

• Poor transport in many areas and car overuse
• Climate change and pollution
• Many people (women in particular) unable to work or only reduced hours due to caring responsibilities
• Many people on long term sickness benefits who could work if it were from home
• The above meaning a much higher benefits bill
• Companies insisting that you come into the office when jobs could be done remotely

If only there was some joined up thinking going on.

But work has to be while the clock is rolling and they're paying you. Its a common theme on here - parents cannot do paid work whilst simultaneously being available to their children. The advantage of wfh is no commute, not no childcare costs. You've made it sound as though your kids come first while expecting a wage. No employer will tolerate that!

I worked full time with small children. It cost a ton in nannies etc, my DH is a chef so zero flexibility on time ir location except in cases of child sickness (i am not in UK)

That ton of childcare money was an investment in our future. Sure I had a lot of stress but worked with DH and the childminder (and my lovely mum, not on the same country) to do as much as I could to keep my career, salary progression and pension on track. Not to mention my mental health.

And yes, DH sometimes took leave and otherwise juggled work to ensure our family was ok.

It is hard. It requires compromise (note - the employer does not often compromise) and ruthless planning. But it is not forever and it was (to us) worth it.

You, as a family, have to decide what compromises are worth it. And who makes them.

Gender isn’t a protected characteristic,

I may be missing something, but the women I know with young children who work full time use a nursery that is open from 7.30-6pm.

Or they make a choice to work shorter hours by changing jobs so they get an 8-4 contract.

If a nursery like that doesn't exist, they employ a childminder for a few hours after school/ nursery closes.

Calling you 'baby brain' is not on and you need to report to HR.

However, it may be that you are regarded as not being 100% committed and although name-calling is completely unacceptable, you don't appear to be fitting into the company.

You say you're in 'comms' - are there no other jobs around?

Apply for flexible working 10-4? That way you have time to drop off and pick up. That’s what I did. They aren’t going to allow you to work from home if they’ve taken it away already.

Utterly ridiculous, many if not most mothers work full time. What makes you think you’d qualify for UC anyway?

It always amuses me that these contentious threads are started and the OP miraculously disappears shortly after, or only posts minimal replies, yet people continue to ask her questions for pages and pages that clearly go unanswered. Meanwhile, everyone else starts battling each other over the subject while the OP is (often) long gone. Even when the OP has actively bowed out it rumbles on.
Mumsnet is a strange place.

I found that people thought no one knew what they were up to whether that be childcare when they are working (no one can manage 3 children on their own whilst concentrating on work) or something else.

The ocassional slip to go and do something you shouldnt be doing - well most people have done this whilst working at home. The OP situation will be known by the rest of the team. People will be required to cover for this and resent it.

Quite, nurseries with 8-6 hours or childminders. Of course the parents don’t like the longer hours but if it’s a choice between having a job or not having a job then they suck it up.

I was about to say something similar. Add in a low birth rate and anarchy on the streets re immigration and we do need the government to step in for joined up thinking/long term strategies.

It's been assumed that a lot of disabled people csn now be in work thanks to working from home, well that's not going to be the case. There isn't the transport structure and local offices, in many areas, for people to stop working from home.

You have a husband with a wage. You're not going to get UC for yourself as if you were a single parent. Any UC will be based on your joint household income. You leaving work through choice or being fired will be seen as depriving yourself of money and affects uc entitlement. Although you may get some, as a family with only one wage, unless your DC is under two years old you'll be expected to look for a job. They don't pay you to choose to sit around not working, they expect you to work so they don't have to pay you.

Why isn't your DH paying towards childcare?
You make it sound like the entire burden of that cost is on you. Saying things like if you went part time you'd still have the same costs/bills to pay and if you do 9-5 in the office making it seem like you'll have all the additional childcare to pay.
Just split bills in proportion to however much each of you earns, then it's fair and doesn't all fall on one person.
Have you factored in how much childcare costs you might be able to claim back via UC if you're eligible for that?

Could you look at staggering your FT hours with your DP?

So for example he works 8-4 in the office, and is responsible for childcare pick ups, you work 10-6 in the office, and are responsible for childcare drop offs.

This level of flexibility is a reasonable ask.

That is really shitty after 5 years! What have HR said? You are allowed to put in a flexi request. If I were you I'd work part time, you can increase your hours later. It's what most mums have to do in these circs. I work tto the money is shite but I'm still in work, socialising, contributing to pension. I get to pick and drop up my youngest to school. I wouldn't drop out of work altogether regardless if I'd be better off or not as long term it's not the best option.

I found that people thought no one knew what they were up to whether that be childcare when they are working (no one can manage 3 children on their own whilst concentrating on work) or something else.

The ocassional slip to go and do something you shouldnt be doing - well most people have done this whilst working at home. The OP situation will be known by the rest of the team. People will be required to cover for this and resent it.

Whilst you are at work, and being paid by your employer, the expectation of your employer is that your job is the priority. When you are not working, your priority is of course your children.
UC is not for people who can't manage their time effectively, and decide to quit work and claim benefits. Find a solution, or a new job, the same way everyone else has to

If schools do not offer wrap around care there must be a childminder who could help with nursery pick up too? There is always a way if not it’s time to find another position elsewhere. Nursery often offers all day. You need to consider what’s best financially.

UC is there to help people on a low income or with no income. It is household based so if you stop working it will depend on your husband’s income. You are fit to work so will be expected to look for work and prove you are looking for work. Expectation being that you will effectively job search for the equivalent of full time hours.
I totally agree that situation is crap for working mothers and I can’t see the government supplying truly free at the point of service open all ours childcare but everyone going on benefits probably isn’t the solution.

Buy yourself some time and start looking for a new job.

In the meantime submit a statutory flexible working request and raise a grievance regarding the negative comments. It sounds like the direction the company is heading in is incompatible with what you need long term career wise so prgamatically a move will be best. However buy yourself that time to find the right job by exhausting the internal processes first.

It's hardly a trial after 5 years!