Constant criticism from people I manage about my management

[Teakake]

As per the title, I am finding myself receiving unsolicited feedback from staff. I am significantly younger than many of them and in the past they have been used to a manager who hangs around drinking tea and asking about your weekend plans, or getting caught up in tiny details and basically doing all the perceived ‘easy’ little jobs which other staff are already here to do.

Problem is, this was running the business down the drain, and the most important jobs were not getting done, so I am a business manager, here to get efficiencies. I am not answering the phones at reception because I employ people to do that and my time is spent on other areas of the business.

However do not get this wrong, I will gladly pitch in if help is needed and we are unexpectedly busy or understaffed, I do not think of myself as too good for any job and I know how everyone’s job works as I have learnt this from them directly.

I do not micromanage - I am here for support if it’s needed. I don’t work remotely, am on site all day full time. I am very busy so I am often whizzing around and will say hi quickly in passing, and I ask staff to give me a heads up about what they want to talk to me about so that I can prioritise if this is urgent or not, as some of my work is very time critical.

The staff feel I don’t spend enough time with them. I ask why they want this time, is it work related? If so, I will arrange training.

No it’s because they want to feel important and special to me.

They are constantly interrupting me, demanding my time and when I give it to them, they just use that time to complain. I try to help them get out of circular thinking they don’t want to, So I leave the discussion with no resolution.

Even if I tell them that I don’t have extra time, I am in meetings and I have deadlines, it’s never good enough. I am here all day but they say ‘we never see you’ or ‘you don’t show any interest in us’ and ‘you are cold and too professional’.

They are important as humans, and valued in the workplace so I ensure they all have a safe working environment, stable work patterns, adequate training, annual appraisals, work related meetings.

No this is not what they mean. They are offended I am not their FRIEND. I am not befriending them and sitting on their desk chit chatting.

I do not want to be their friend. I just want to be their manager.

I am going to be honest, the clingy neediness is not helping, it feels like I have a large group of ladies clinging to my arms like small children, dragging me down.

I have put in boundaries and they do not respond well.

I approached my managers and asked if they agreed with this feedback from staff. They said no, I am doing exactly what they want me to do. I asked if they wanted me to do anything differently. They said no, my performance was great. There is no issue. The issue is the staff who have bad attitudes. I have suggested sharing an overview of my diary with the whole team so they can see how busy I am. No, they just want me to performance manage these people - which I am, but as they are constantly criticising me, we just don’t make any progress.

My managers are not helping me here.

In order to get out of this rut I have the following options:

-Put them all on last warning/performance plans
-take a tribunal risk and start letting people go (not all that comfortable with this, because it’s started to concern me I am part of the issue)
-Leave myself and get a new job
-start faking friendliness to the detriment of my job and productivity (I can’t do this!)
-take out formal grievances on the ring leaders to force my managers to intervene

OK, so it sounds like you're bending on all of the wrong things.

Your managers need to manage their direct reports. That means that they do the appraisals and authorise any time off etc. You can explain to anyone who objects that that's the structure you have in place.

You need to manage the managers in order to ensure that they are supported to manage their staff effectively, and you need to address the issue if people are bypassing their managers to come straight to you instead. Be clear and consistent on this.

Getting your managers to step up and manage might then free up a bit more of your time for the more general relationship building which is clearly lacking at present.

By the way, it doesn't matter if you dislike some of the people in your team. It's a job, and you don't have to be friends. You just have to invest in building professional relationships.

Ok well thanks. I will take this on board. I feel like I am being bullied out of this job, so I will likely leave because of this

In order to get out of this rut I have the following options:
-Put them all on last warning/performance plans
-take a tribunal risk and start letting people go (not all that comfortable with this, because it’s started to concern me I am part of the issue)
-Leave myself and get a new job
-start faking friendliness to the detriment of my job and productivity (I can’t do this!)
-take out formal grievances on the ring leaders to force my managers to intervene

Thinking again about your options, honestly, they are all (bar one) bonkers. If your HR manager has advised you on any of this then they don't know what they're doing.

Straight to last warning. Why would you do that and do your procedures and the law allow you to do this for the crime of being what you call, 'being clingy ladies'.
Tribunal risk/letting people go. Surely the last resort of someone who has no care for treating people fairly or managing business risk.
Start faking friendliness to the detriment of my job and productivity. You don't need to be friendly, you don't need to be fake and you would know that good people management is key to your job and productivity, not detrimental.
Take out formal grievances on the ring leaders to force my managers to intervene. Complete failure to manage and admission of defeat.

Leave myself and get a new job. Your best option.

Your current management style is not working. The staff are telling you this and I seriously doubt that putting them on performance plans or letting some people go will achieve anything, other than to make the work environment worse.
It sounds awful really, whizzing about and only saying hello, having more important things to do than build a positive relationship with your staff, describing some of them as intensely dislikable.
Have you stopped to think about your role in this and how you can improve?

I don’t think I’ve explained this well.

Perhaps communication isn't your strong point.

You're the manager. If people are behaving inappropriately, then you need to deal with it. But the feedback that you've told us about doesn't sound unreasonable, and if you decide to stay, you would do well to act on it.

If you decide that people management isn't for you, then leaving and doing something different may not be a bad idea. We all have strengths and weaknesses.

I'm really confused as to how it is that "shop floor" staff can reject an HR Manager

How does that even happen?

If these complaining staff members have LMs then the LM is who they go to with their complaints

If the LM can't sort it out then the LM books a 15 minute slot in your calendar to get your advice

"...manage these people..."

Your sense of self-importance shines through, OP.

However you feel about your management style, it's clear that it just isn't working. People do want to feel recognised and appreciated, a bit of time spent with your team getting to know them is not wasted time. You can find a balance.

I would only consider this if one or two people were giving you feedback that was wildly inconsistent with the rest of the team. It says a lot about your approach that instead of taking feedback and using this as a self development opportunity, you are throwing your toys out the pram and looking to leave.

A lot of advice already on how important it is to know your staff and have them feel valued. I agree with it generally and it’s probably something you should think about as self-critically as possible.

However, once you’ve thought about it, there is also always the possibility this set of staff is shit. If they’ve had a useless manager, the culture probably hasn’t been great, and slowly as they hire new people the whole team becomes rubbish. Good people leave and only the complaining lazy people remain. I’ve certainly seen this happen in some workplaces. Sometimes the generic “you must make your team happy” shouldn’t apply because the team is not good (some of the individuals might be, but group dynamics mean they’re not as a whole).

Once you’ve had a good long think and tried some of the approaches above (and sounds like you have tried a few), if you believe this is the case, then yes it might be time to performance manage out some of them. You need to know the team well to get to that point though.

Well you clearly do have an issue with the line managers because they’re not keeping their team happy - so actually that is down to you as well. What you mean is the line managers don’t come to you with issues so you like them more. Ineffectual management all round.

the staff are demotivated and unhappy, they don’t come to the staff events because management want them to shut up and smile and they can’t bring themselves to do it so they don’t come. They don’t like or trust their line managers and want to go over their heads in the hope of finding someone who will actually listen to them.

my main question is why you don’t think staff morale is important and why these staff members should just sort themselves out without any support from management.

A team that isn’t managed well often regresses to a child-like state so to speak. If that department had been poorly run for years and OP changes things suddenly, it’s not surprising that their reaction is neither mature nor professional, but a big tantrum.

If it’s as bad as it looks, I would still try to take a last initiative to make them « heard » but I would performance plan the worst of them. That should be the wake up call needed to bring the adults back in the room and a few new faces can totally change the mindset and culture of a team.

I was a teacher. We didn’t have time to take a pee.

I still managed to talk and chat to people.

All this

It isn't the role of HR to manage staff on behalf of managers. It is HR's role to suppprt managers to manage by providing the managers with leadership/people management skills and ensuring manager's management is in line with policies and procedures.

You need to have team meetings where the departmental objectives are made clear, you need to be approachable and show no favouritism. There need to be monthly one to one's in diaries.

You say you need to focus on business issues but achieving those issues is dependent on you carrying the team with you. You also say that you have a private life too and don't have time for the people bits. Kindly, as a manager, you have to make time and you are paid presumably, significantly more than your team and being an effective manager requires commitment. You do need to work more hours than your team and some investment in them now will pay dividends in the future. Think about their individual strengths and weaknesses and how to harness them to meet the overall objectives.

HR should not be conducting appraisals, you should.
The suggestion of a grievance against your subordinates is downright ridiculous - it underpins the power imbalance and will do nothing but fracture shaky relationships. It will also make yiu look like a tit who can only manage with a stick and in a punitive way. Never the right way to get the best out of people.

It sounds as though there are significant issues with communication and that you may already be cut below the water line.

OP, is there a big backstory with the line managers? I don't think you've made it clear enough in your posts that these aren't your direct reports who are kicking up the fuss. Of course they shouldn't unilaterally be allowed to kick THEIR MANAGERS out of their appraisals!

a) "speak to your line manager about that" on repeat. Don't engage with stupid stuff like office temperature.
b) do be a bit more socially friendly, ask about kids and dogs.
c) delegate more, you shouldn't be so busy that you can't solve this, it's your biggest problem. You shouldn't be doing so much of the day to day.

I would have a 1:1 with each of them, for 30 minutes, every fortnight. Use it as a check in and make it clear this is a dedicated slot for them to raise any issues. Outside of this time, unless urgent, they need to save issues for the next 1:1 with you. Try to find some common interests with each of them, embrace the human side of your role. Look at their strengths, and weaknesses, and use these to your advantage in terms of small projects you could involve them with. I would avoid meeting them as a group, meeting them
separately will be more productive and potentially less hostile. Be kind, listen, observe and be helpful.

Annual appraisals are not an HR task @Teakake The line manager should always do these, you can't delegate something like that to a third party, HR or not.

I'm probably going against the train here, but they are ruined (spoilt) by previous management. They are used to mamby pamby manager and will be difficult to change that. Either persevere and be prepared to put noses out of joint or leave and try ro find better work culture elsewhere

Why would you put them on performance plans? The issue doesn't seem to be with their performance. And last warnings? Without proper process, just straight to that? And doing things that you know would risk a tribunal and must therefore be dodgy at the very least? And why would being friendly ruin your productivity? Your hard manner isn't working with your team and by your own admission it's taking up time. So if you invest a bit of friendliness, you may find it makes your team happier and therefore lets you get on with being productive?

Are you sure you're a people person? Has your fantastic HR hire not talked to you about the implications of going straight to performance plans and last warnings and knowingly risking tribunals?

This.

Spend less time looking at these people and more time reflecting on yourself and your own behaviour.

Sorry but you sound so unapproachable, my own management skills are strongly based on that I value each person in the team I manage, and make time to spend even a few minutes checking in with them personally.
I manage a group of 23 people, and I honestly believe we all have the upmost respect for each other and I would seriously question my position if I was getting any of that feedback you are.

Three pages in and it's just occurred to me that you don't have any beef about how this group of employees perform their jobs. There's no, 'They don't do their work properly'.

I'm sure you would have mentioned it if they were failing in their tasks.

Your only beef is about how they relate to you.

The best managers are the ones that value their employees and have the time for them (even if it is a little fake), you may see it as a waste of time and from a production point of view it is, but you need to factor it into your role, managing people is a fine balance of getting the work done and keeping your staff happy and productive.

They are coming to you formally with all their silly work issues because you are completely unapproachable otherwise and you make it perfectly clear you are far too busy for them, if you had any sort of relationship with them they would use the hierarchy in place and direct official complaints to their line managers instead and the system would work better, you're probably wasting more time with that which could be spent having quick cup of tea with them.

Honestly OP, you are part of the problem here, you are extremely insular in your way of thinking, you are making your bosses happy, but not your staff and as a manager it is your job to get the best from your staff. Being a "people person" to the higher ups while completely ignoring your staff's needs is not the makings of a successful manager.