Told by boss to stop hugging in the office

[Ilovechcolatealways]

Evening all

I have been working at my current job for over 20 years so have built good relationships with most colleagues
I consider it part of my personality to hug certain colleagues. I usually hug hello / goodbye but sometimes also during the working day

We work in a stressful environment, therefore some days are worse than others and I like a hug to relieve stress !!!

Today I was called into an office by my boss and told that I must stop hugging in the workplace and it is not the 'done' thing at work.

In all of my time there, I have NEVER been told / asked to stop doing this.

The recipient's of the hugs always reciprocate the hug and none have ever told me they are uncomfortable with them. Obviously if they were then I would stop immediately and apologise. I have read our policies today and nowhere does it state that hugging is not allowed and I really don't want to stop.

Can anyone offer advice on how I can handle this ???

It's totally weird and inappropriate. Yoyr boss is right.
You can get sacked for things like this.

Really weird. Stop it please lol!!!

I hate hugging bar by OH, and obviously children will be OK when we have them

There's a lot of huggers in my world place, however they do at least respect I hate it and don't do it to me! Maybe they acted OK with it but secretly hated it and it was one time too many?

I agree with cwcanfo. It's not just MN. Some of my DFs will hug but others are made really uncomfortable by hugging. Same in the office. I did hug a colleague recently who was in poevrec over her poorly DDog and her test of a "D"H. Otherwise I wouldn't dream of touching another colleague.

Are you Meghan Markle? 😂

Not only on MN and absolutely not in the bloody office!

I would be doubly stressed if I was having a hard day and someone kept coming up to me and hugging me. This is weird and you need to stop.

TBF the OP has said about 100 times that she will stop.

If it's a large open plan office, & you ate hugging 4-5 close friends, then it's possible that you & your huggy buddies are all happily hugging away BUT...

...what happens when Sam the new office junior complains to HR that she/he keeps getting approached for hugs by Leslie the office letch?

& Leslie says...'well we're a very huggy office...'

If I were your boss I'd be putting a stop to it. & if you've been there 20 years, I'd start with you as an influential staff member who sets the culture.

I want to list some other things not in the handbook, which definitely wouldn't be allowed!

It's a sad world OP.
Hugs to you 🤗🤗🤗

Dear OP just wanted to say that personally I would absolutely love to be hugged 3 times a day at work. This thread has been a sobering read as I'm guilty of office hugs also. I try to only hug people who seem comfortable with the idea or who initiate but after reading this I think I will stop initiating any hugs at work altogether...

Mmm this says more about you than her I think.

It looks like she is aiming for a profesisonal environment, hugging isn't professional. It definitely sounds like someone complained because they felt bad about saying anything to you and you've put her in a tricky situation. You seem more annoyed that others don't like hugging and are finding it hard to see that they may have had enough of it. She probably isn't a c**t as you put it, but a more professional person than you.

It sounds as though one or two recipients of these hugs has complained and your boss didn't want to pinpoint who the complainant was , but you make it sound like an obsession, on your part, hugs are personal and in a work place that is meant for professionalism then this shouldn't be an issue for yourself, they are work colleagues not friends you can't be everybody's friend, just go to work do your job and go home for hugs , your making an issue in your oen mind, just gently move passed it and take note.

Absolutely! OP, you are not coming off very well here I'm afraid, and calling your manager that definitely portrays you in a worse light than her. Frankly, I'm very glad I don't need to work with you!

Oh my God you got to stop hugging people it's ridiculous

I would say someone isn't okay with it but doesn't feel they can tell you themselves so spoke to management. I am not a huggy person at all, but my colleagues know it and the ones that aren't huggy leave me be unless upset and a hug is needed. Maybe just calm it down a bit? Is there someone relatively new that you have started hugging say within the last month or two, they may have kept quiet in hope it died off and when it didn't thought they had to say something.

It’s very much needed in our line of work but we don’t just walk up to a colleague and hug them, if someone looks upset or we know they’ve been through something difficult some us offer a hug and a chat to be supportive but a lot of us are also friends in and outside of work 🤷🏻‍♀️

Some of my staff members hug but not to de stress just as a hello and the ones who are close but it's only once in a blue moon if they haven't seen each other for a while.
It's not a regular thing.
I wouldnt want people constantly hugging me at work.

Whether huggung is OK or not is nit the question. If your boss has asked you to stopthen stop and I suggest you invent some other less contentious gesture likehigh 5 ingor something !

It is strange. A hug should mean something, not a casual greeting.

I do remember a good many years ago when it was quite fashionable for people to hug, even have group hugs. I don't remember doing it but it definitely was a thing for a while.

It is not a thing now so just stop hugging.

My work colleagues are all aware that I don't enjoy hugs, but they still try to sneak them in occasionally.

OP, you need to think of the bigger picture beyond you and the individual relationships you have with particular Co-workers. Maybe you have always done it and it's always been reciprocated, and it's been lovely. But it sets a precedent that hugging is allowed. Hugging hello is ok, hugging during stress is ok and hugging goodbye is ok. So next week when Herbert the pervert joins the team... he's thrilled! Here's an environment where he can cop a squeeze at least twice a day. After all, nobody minds when OP does it. It's allowed!

That's why no hugs.

Also OP, it's a time drain. If you have to hug 4-5 people before you get to your desk and start working that's potentially an issue.

surely everyone has a chat for a few minutes as they arrive?!

Chatting is ok. Hugging not so much. Thankfully with covid, it's come to a natural end.
Plus I hate being hugged. But I don't mind saying as they lurch forward ' you're not going to hug me are you? Because I don't like it'

I'm not nice to hug anyway. I'm all bones and it's like hugging a pile of sticks.