I despise my fiancés place of work

[MrsH15001]

my fiancé has been at his place of work for around 9 years now. Long before he became a parent, since he’s now a father they have absolutely done their upmost to make life difficult for him.

Im a SAHM so it’s very rare probably only emergencies when he needs to be home, like now. Our DS is in full time school, DD 18 months old is currently in a cast with a fractured tibia/fibia I do not drive, it’s a 20 minute walk to my sons school but I do it daily. The issue is now I can not dress my child due to the fracture and the cast she has, she’s only able to wear tops right now. It’s absolutely bucketing it down with rain and freezing cold were we live. We have absolutely no help so I have no one to take or collect my son from school. My daughter is currently also unwell with a chest infection so taking her out in tops and coat is not ideal in this weather. Fiancé is due to finish work at 7:30pm and I’ve asked if he can leave early to collect our son. We have no village, just us. He said no, work won’t allow him. Me and him are now currently not seeing eye to eye as I’m saying it’s a legal requirement to allow unpaid leave to look after a dependent. Alls he needs to do is collect him and bring him home then return back to work. He’s saying it’s pointless by the time he leaves work and gets back it won’t be long until he finishes. But we need it, I need the help. He says he’s also asked his manager and it’s down to his employer and their saying no so there’s nothing he can do. Just don’t know where to stand I feel everything is just so hard for me right now I’m struggling to split myself in two. It’s only today (mon &Tuesday) as he’s off the rest off the week and she will be in the clinic on weekend getting her cast changed..

I’ve called the school and asked if he can be added onto the taxi service which I’m happy to pay for but unfortunately he doesn’t meet the criteria.. I have no one else to ask and I don’t know what to do

Surely you have a pushchair, just wrap her in a blanket in the pushchair and continue to walk as you would normally- his work sound like ass holes so don’t really see you have much choice unless you want to pay for private taxi every day, your husband is being a div though saying it’s not worth going back as it’s not long till he finishes, you said he finishes at 7.30 so collecting a child at say 3ish leaves quite a bit of time after that doesn’t it, it’s probably not your husbands work not allowing it but he probably doesn’t want to do it himself

To be fair I wouldn’t ask either in these circumstances.

Is there a reason why you can't layer her up in skirts?

I understand she has a heart condition but surely she would go out in trousers in this weather? A couple of long skirts over the top of each other in a pushchair laid flat with a blanket on or a foot muff wouldn't be uncomfortable and would be highly practical.

For reference I can't wear certain clothes due to sensory issues. Summer is too hot and winter is too cold so layering skirts has always been something I have had to do in winter to allow comfort and freedom to move.

If she's got a cast up to her foot can you not slip some adult slipper socks over the top to keep her toes warm?

Your husband is legally entitled to take time off for emergencies but the emergency has already happened and now you need to find a way to manage while your daughter heals.

It sounds tough and it's a real shame if work can't be flexible in emergencies.
I also had no family and friends nearby when the children we little. We'd just moved to a new city. However, this was the reason l learnt to drive. DH was often away with work, and I could see I needed to be independent. I also called on other parents from school to help in an emergency.

As a temporary solution, do you have an old fleece blanket that you can cut up - fleece because it won't need hemming. If so, turn it into a sleeping sack with a square bottom so she can kick all she wants in the pushchair but it won't come off, and cut some straps which can be fastened with a button, or velcro to go over her shoulders so it won't come off. If you can't sew, do you know anyone who could make you one?

Is it the employer or is it the DH just not wanting to? He is entitled to use his annual leave as well.
maybe a new job would help.
do you have family that you could move to be near and get help?
speak to the school and see what they can do to help.
what about other school parents? Time to make your own village. Make friends with neighbours and parents at school. At the end of the day you could say your child has d&v and can’t come to school if you can’t get them there.

When my son was in a hip cast (full cast on left leg, half cast on right leg - went up to his tummy) I'd put a t-shirt on him and a large babygrow; that would cover his arms, tummy and the leg that had the half cast. The full cast leg was left uncovered. Yes the babygrow was hanging at the back for the 'spare' leg but I'd pop a cardigan on him, long socks over the casts and off we'd go! Yes he looked a bit mad but he was warm!
Also when out in buggy, lots of blankets & a buggy muff if you have one.

How do you manage over the winter when the weather is actually really wet & cold if you can’t use blankets & a rain cover?

I just read the rest of your posts OP. I feel for you.
It sounds like you have alot going on, fiance in work until late, school runs, no car, having to give up work, daughter with a heart problem AND in a cast.

I think all of this is building up on you and these things are the issue, not your fiance's job.

You say the job won't help but if he takes public transport to work, he'd need to get that home, it's a 20 minute walk to school, bring child home, back on public transport to go back to work...
Unless he is doing all that on his lunch break, it's not viable for a company to let someone go from their workday like that.
Also if he was to do it on his lunch break, it's alot on him don't you think.

I read above that your daughter doesn't like to keep blankets on or the rain cover, my daughter is exactly the same. I line her buggy with a thick blanket so she's all snug before being strapped in. I also have blankets on side of buggy to keep her cosy. Did the same for my son who was in cast (as I posted above).
Unfortunately for rain cover, if it rains, it has to go on. My daughter will flip out but tough s**t, it needs to stay on.

OP, it sounds to me like you need a break and a little bit of help. You are putting this on your fiance's job but as a one income family, he needs to work and he probably doesn't want to be leaving work as he might feel under pressure as the sole earner & might not want to be asking favours incase he's seen as taking the p**s.

I hope you are ok OP.

It's now the season where warm onesies are appearing in, say, Primark. Get a big baggy one and you're sorted.

Not ideal, but get the taxi for a few days. Ring the school explain, I'm sure a teacher or assistant can bring him out to you in the taxi.
Side note, try make friends with some other mums, or even when your daughter is well enough go to a toddler morning.
For your own sake, try get out and heve meet ups. It can be very lonely being a SAHM.
Best of luck to you.

Get a cheap pair of leggings and cut one leg off so she can at least have clothes on the unaffected leg, put a long sock over it, pulled up as high as it goes, wrap her in blankets and put the rain cover on the pushchair. It's not easy, but it's doable. Take a breath, find a solution.

Improvise some sort of trousers for your toddler (your own leggings, cut one leg off of her own trousers to facilitate the cast, use other siblings trousers, whatever you have available, think, woman) and take a taxi.

I posted earlier. She knows she’s friends, she’s gone up many clothes sizes.

Take her back to Uni clothes shopping, help her dress better for her size, more confident. She if she opens ups about the way she feels.
If could be OK for you to say:
this is new for me, the way I’m feeling now, I feel like maybe you are not looking after yourself, up too late, drinking, sleeping in. I know it’s student lifestyle, but you are not looking well. How do YOU feel??

Is she in denial?
Rewarding herself with food?
Bonding with her big friend, adopting her food habits?
Happy with herself no matter what?

Bs open, and ask her to tell you.

Why can you not take your 18 month old in a buggy with a thick blanket and if necessary a rain cover as well?

This sounds like a very difficult situation op. I would want your fiancé to be looking for a new job, I’d think many places would be far far more understanding than where he is. I hope your dd gets better soon from the current cold/chest infection. If you can manage it I’d get a child’s sleeping bag to carry her around in for now and taxi to the appt.

Can’t you just cut some trousers up so she can wear one on her uncovered leg, and a large sock on the casted one?! I’m sure there are ways around this bar your husband taking (unnecessary) time away from work. I agree he may not have asked, but on the off chance he has, you’re a SAHM so I could see why they might say no. Bit different if you were both working.

Also. The taxi service is arranged by the local council, not the school, which is why it can’t be arranged. In most circumstances it’s for children with medical needs.

I've not read the other replies, but I would ask another parent if they could drop her home. Some people are very happy to help out. You don't have to be good friends. Return the favour at some point when things settle down.

I've not read the other replies, but I would ask another parent if they could drop her home. Some people are very happy to help out. You don't have to be good friends. Return the favour at some point when things settle down.

I don't understand these sorts of posts.
In nearly 400 posts, don't you think this has been suggested?

In the OP she says there is no one she can ask.

We didn't find out what OP did in the end.

There's a whole class of parents she can ask